doctor what

Rent-a-roo

"But I only just put the advert up today, I didn't put my address". I look at the Doctor in alarm, I had told him what the house looked like and he made do.

 "Well, aren't you lucky I came along? More lucky than you know", he looks up " Less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur, And ya know, Darcy is... Darcy", i give him a look and he sticks his tounge out, before looking back at the poor man "But frankly we're an absolute dream".

"Hang on, mate, I don't know if I want you staying", he grabs the keys from me "and give me back those keys, you can't have those"! 

"Yes, quite right. Have some rent". The Doctor hand him the paper bag of money we got from him sonicing a ATM. I told him it was a little much but he didn't listen.

"That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Darcy said it was. Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell". The Doctor grabs my hand and pushes past Craig into the house. Te house lights flicker. 

"Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. I like sweets. Ooh", The Doctor gives Craig light kisses on each cheek, me following his lead blushing. "That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it? I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor, I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. Still don't know why. That's Darcy, just Darcy. Don't know her last name, should, but I don't. What is your last name"? I give him a look. "Right never mind, mysterious Darcy, staying a mystery". The doctor goes to ramble more when I ask Craig for his name even though I know it already. 

 "Craig Owens. The Doctor? Just Darcy"?  

"Yep. Who lives upstairs"? The Doctor asks looking up the stairs. 

"Just some bloke"  

"What does he look like" I say. 

"Normal. He's very quiet", there's a loud bang from upstairs. " Usually. Sorry, who are you guys again? Hello"?! The Doctor once again grabs my hand and walks into the parlor, straight for the dead people rot. I give a shiver causing him to frown down at me. "Excuse me"?

"Ah! I suppose that's...dry rot"? 

"Or damp. Or mildew". Craig says quickly.  

"Or none of the above". I say before the Doctor.

"I'll get someone to fix it". Craig insists.

"No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister. This is the most beautiful parlour I have ever seen", the doctor slides onto the counter and I give him a small smile."you're obviously a man of impeccable taste. We can stay, Craig, can't we? Say we can".

  "You haven't even seen the room".

"The room"? The doctor and I ask. He turns to me grinning before facing Craig again.

"Your room". 

"My room? Oh, yes, our room, our room. Take me to our room"! The Doctor takes my hand as Craig takes us down a hallway and unlocks a door. 

"Yeah, this is Mark's old room, he owns the place, moved out about a month ago. An uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money". The doctor lets my hand go to test the bed. I'll have to ask him if he had anything to do with Mark.

"How very convenient. This'll do just right. In fact...". There are more noise from upstairs. The Doctor licks his finger, me following, and points it up in the air.

 "No time to lose. we'll take it. Ah...", he takes out the psychic paper. "you'll want to see our credentials". he holds it up, switching for each subject.  "There...National Insurance number... NHS number... References....".

"Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury"? I look and see it's just blank. I frown.

 "I'm his special favourite". He puts a finger over his mouth and shh's. "Are you hungry? I'm hungry". I giggle as he takes my hand and goes to the kitchen, Craig following. 

 "I haven't got anything in". The Doctor starts going through all the cabinites and the fridge. 

"You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbes! Pour deux"! I laugh as he begins to cook eggs, mayo, gratted cheese, pepper, salt, and what looks like sliced ham. I shake my head at him as he just throws everything about.

"So who's the girl on the fridge"? I ask. 

"My friend. Sophie". 

"Girlfriend"? The Doctor asks. 

 "A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on". I raise an eyebrow, the doctor and I giving each other knowing glances.

"Ah, that's completely normal. Works for me". The Doctor shrugs. 

"We met at work about a year ago at the call centre". I smile, ah, young love.

 Oh, really, a communications exchange? That could be handy". He bops my nose and I grin.

 "Firm's going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model. I know what they should do, I got a plan all worked out, but I'm just a phone drone, I can't go running in saying I know best. Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you". 

"I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around. 

"Right, where's your stuff"?

"Don't worry, it'll materialise, if all goes to plan".

Once the food is done, we sit down to eat on the couch. The Doctor surprises me by pulling me into his lap and trying to feed me. I blush madly, looking over to Craig who is engrossed in his omelete. 

"Doctor". I scold. He just grins and makes airplane noises, so I finally give in. We share the eggs and eventually we're done. 

 "Oh, that was incredible! That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook"? 

"Paris, in the 18th century. Both Darcy and I. No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? 17th? No, no, no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order". I frown, I haven't done that. The Doctor seems to know what I'm thinking and he countinues to babble on. 

"Well, this D hasen't. Future her has, which is bad because i just spoiled 18th century paris cooking lessons. Sorry dear you'll have to live with that". He says smiling, so close..

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird? Craig says breaking the moment. The Doctor only smiles while i blush.

"They never really stop. Ever been to Paris, Craig"? 

"Nah, I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveller". Craig says. feeling up the fluffy key ball. 

"I can tell from your sofa". The Doctor says.

"My sofa"? I yawn.

"You're starting to look like it". The Doctor says, lying my head on his shoulder. I distanly hear the sound of keys before darkness.