September, 1994
The bus left me home 20 minutes later, I didn't know what time it was and I really didn't want to know. I walked as fast as I could through the dark street, the wind freezing my bones. When I arrived my parents were awake. I thought they'd complain at me again for being so late, but they didn't. I asked them what was it they wanted to talk about, and my father said that it didn't matter, that they had solved it yet. "Work assumpts" - He said. I wasn't so sure whether I should believe him or not but I was so tired that I didn't want to think about it.
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The next day I wanted to go to some record store when the classes finished. I didn't know exactly what I planned to do but it was Friday and I'd be free around 2 pm, so I'd have all day left for me.
I was getting my brown and old bag on my shoulder while walking donwstairs, and I heard the doors of a car close outside our house. I heard some voices and I knew one was my mother's, but I didn't recognise the other person.
I got so shocked when I opened the door. It was Daniel, my uncle, whom I hadn't talked nor I didn't have the intention to for so many years. I wasn't surprised to see him because mother had recently gone to see him and I knew they were in contact, but I never expected to be forced to see him.
"Luna, sweetheart" - My mother came closer to me a little worried, but her face still shining filled with happiness - "I was hoping to tell you later this evening...but Daniel and aunt Margaret are having dinner with us tonight". I felt so angry, even offended, my mother knew how bad my relation with Daniel was, and still she was about to wait to tell me. I didn't want to blame her because it was the last and worse thing I could do, she loved her brother and she wanted me to try and be well with him, but it was so hard.
"Wow look at you! You were so small the last time I saw you" - Daniel said and laughed surprised, making a funny tone I didn't find funny at all. I didn't even look at him in the eye.
"I'm going to be late" - I complained and left, walking street down almost running. I hoped aunt Margaret wasn't there because I'd feel so sad and bad for her, she never understood why Daniel and I couldn't be well, and she was so important for me and of course this broke my heart, but there was nothing I could do.
I felt so bad that even my throat hurt and my eyes started getting wet, plus the cold wind was making me not feel my hands and my bones were freezing again. I passed the bus stop and I kept walking, I wasn't feeling like going to class although this would make my parents get so mad at me, and it wouldn't do me any well. But it was me who was mad.
I walked to the end of the street where a little road split the houses and I turned left. Then I crossed Barton Rd and I passed by The Robin Hood, I didn't know exactly if it was a club or some kind of big library, I had heard some students talk about one in Stretford. I didn't know where I was going because I didn't know the town, I just kept walking looking for some alley or hidden place to sit in silence and be left alone.
I walked all straight and entered in a street that took me to the start of another road, it was some sort of bridge where cars drove by and there was a big river - more like some sort of canal - under it. There were not many people in the street. It was so beautiful. I stopped in the middle of the bridge and took a look at the river with my arms on the green veranda. Here the days seemed to be rainy all the time, today was one of those days. Now the freezing wind seemed a little forgotten, the air was stroking my face and my hair, and I loved it. A little grass field at the riverside started at the end of the bridge, lots of trees on the left protecting it, but there was a closed gate. I came closer to it and tried but it had a padlock. Damn. I was trying to unlock it and a voice just bumped into me and scared me so that I almost banged myself against the gate - "Why don't you just jump?".
I turned my back and took a look and it was him!
"Holy shit you scared me" - I complained, I was so accelerated, he really scared me.
"I didn't mean to" - He just excused himself. I didn't realise how beautiful he was looking until I could look at him now feeling calmed. He was wearing a white shirt and a denim jacket again. I thought he'd be so damn cold but he seemed to be okay.
"So?" - He insisted.
"So what?" - He had distracted me a lot.
"Why don't you just jump the gate?" - He explained and smiled rarely raising his eyebrows.
"No, no I wasn't trying to enter" - I didn't know what to say.
"You were" - He said and grinned. My legs shaked every time he did that.
"I could get in trouble...it could be a private property" - I admitted shyly.
"But it's a beautiful place" - He insisted still. The accent he put on every word, the way he pronounced every word that came out of his mouth was too marvellous. He laughed a little and put his eyes on the floor, then he put them on mine. Jesus, he was so damn cute, he really was.
"I don't think anybody cares" - he said going closer to the veranda of the gate. He raised one foot and then his leg on the veranda, and then his other leg, and he was in. I just stood there watching him. I was perplexed.
"Are you serious?" - I couldn't help but ask him.
"I totally am" - He said.
Then he offered me his hand and I still needed a few seconds to react. I put my hand in his. It was so soft and warm, like a lot. I could even feel the touch of his rings on my hand, I was trembling. It was as if he held me with care and I felt like such a fool thinking that way, but I guess I liked him. He pushed me towards him and I put my hand and my forearm on his shoulder not to fall. I excused myself for that. I thanked him and we started walking down the little but long field. I had my eyes on Morrissey, I couldn't get them off him, the way he talked, the way he walked, the way the little rays of sun that had come out of this cloudy sky left that light pass through his hair and lit his face...I really liked him, and I had just met him some days ago. But it was something so different, so intense, I didn't know him at all and he didn't know me at all, and I should be worried about this, but I felt so good by his side.
