Storm On The Sea

4/ Stop

I woke up to my phone ringing non-stop. I looked at the caller I.D. and it was Chris. All of the memories from earlier came rushing back.

"H-hello?" my voice cracked, still groggy from my sleep.

"Dalton! How ya doin' buddy?" Cole's arrogant voice blared through the speaker.

"um..Cole? Why are you calling me from Christina's phone?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't have answered if you knew it was me, stupid." Well duh, you nearly killed me.

"Well what do you want?"

"I just wanted to let you know, Christina and I are back together and well, you looking all pitiful and sad around her all the time could possibly pose as a threat to me because her kind little heart will feel sorry for you. So basically what I'm saying is that you and Chris can't be friends anymore. I've already talked to her about it and she agrees. So don't bother texting or calling her to ask her why, because here's your answer; she never actually liked you and she just felt sorry for you. So, Dalton, I guess this is goodbye." I could hear his maniacal grin. He hung up. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. Cole has turned everyone against me.  

I wasn't sure of what I should do. I grabbed a notebook and a pen and began to write. I wasn't sure what it was that I so desperately needed to express but the words just poured from my my mind to the paper. 

Dear Family, 

     I am so sorry that it has to be this way. I never really expected my life to end in any other way though. I have no reason to live anymore, no purpose. I thirst for a love that I will never experience because her happiness means more to me than what she, or anyone else will ever know. And it isn't like I planned for my life to end this soon, but it's what needs to be done. The things people have brought upon me, all the lies, all the pain- physical and emotional- I cannot be bothered to accept it anymore. I have no more motivation to do anything. I can barely drag myself out of bed in the mornings, my head is always hurting no matter how much medication I take, no amount of morphine can relieve the pain that I am suffering. Death is my only option. 

    To my sisters, please live out your dreams, even though I am not here to tell you that you're great, I promise that you are. Please don't ever give up on anything that you aspire to be. Please stay strong through the hard times and don't let anyone put you down or make you feel as if you are any less than what you want to be. You are both so beautiful and talented and I am so lucky to have been able to grow up with you and spend these last 19 years with you. I love you dearly and I wish that I didn't have to leave so soon. 

     To my band mates, you guys mean the world to me. Find a new member and continue Fly Away Hero. I never wan't you guys to end. I am so lucky to have been able to work with such talented people, thank you for making this such a wonderful experience. 

     To Christina, I love you, I'm sorry. Thank you for taking me to the hospital that day, the short time that I was able to spend with you was wonderful and not only was i able to experience happiness, I fell in love. I fell in love with your beautiful blonde hair and those bright blue eyes. I wish I had known you sooner so I could've loved you longer. 

     To my parents, I know that losing a child is one of your biggest fears, and I didn't want to do this to you. It is my only option and it breaks my heart to leave you. But please don't lose yourselves, take care of my sisters, take care of my band mates, go on with your lives. 

     I am so sorry that it had to be this way. I love all of you. You'll be alright. 

                                                                          Love, 

                                                                        Another Nobody

And there it was. My suicide letter. This is the last thing people will know of me. I left the letter on my desk and went on a cleaning frenzy with my room. Putting everything in it's proper place, all of my clothes in their proper drawers and in the closet. All of my shoes on the rack and all of my books on the shelf. I put my guitars on their stands and make my bed. Everything looks oddly perfect. I put the letter on my black bed sheets so the white paper will stand out. I look down at what I'm wearing. This isn't particularly what I want to die in but it will do. I walk downstairs, my mom is making dinner and my sisters both have their headphones in, I guess dad isn't home from work just yet. I sneak past them and out the front door. I get in my car and begin to drive. Not sure of where I'm gonna go, I drive around town for a little while. I drive to the beach. I park my car and walk down to the surf. Nobody is out right now, most families are inside having dinner or out perusing downtown. It's just me. I sit on the beach for a while just watching the waves. They seem to be shallow today. Not too angry and violent, just peaceful. It's about 6:30 and the sun is just beginning to lower in the sky. The afternoon heat has passed and it's cooling off. I've come to terms with the fact that I wont be here this time tomorrow. I take in the last bit of beauty that I'm going to see. 

     I go back to my car and drive to the cliffs. I don't bother turning music on, I just drive in the silence. I get to my favorite cliff that overlooks the ocean and some rocks below. This is where I'm going to die. I park my car and turn off the engine. I then get out and set my keys on the hood of the car. I walk to the edge and take it all in. I sit down on the edge and dangle my legs off. I feel like a little kid sitting on the kitchen counter. The drop seems so far yet the thirst to jump is overwhelming. But I'm not sure of how I want to jump. If I want to sit down and push myself off or stand and just jump as if I were a child jumping into a pool. I stand on the edge; my back facing the ocean and my eyes closed, ready to fall. I open my eyes when I hear someone. 

"DALTON! DALTON STOP! PLEASE!" I hear. It was Christina.