Numero Uno - Quotes!!

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MINION QUOTES

I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the damn script

I'm not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis

You know how you can smack something to get it to work? I wish I could do that with people ...

When a woman says 'What?' It's not because she didn't hear you, she's giving you a chance to change what you said                                                                                               

"Did you just fall?" "No! I attacked the floor!!"

I am in one of those moods where I just want to throw a book at someones face, and be like: I FACEBOOKED YOU!

HOME: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it!

I may look calm, but in my head I've killed you about 5 times

MORE QUOTES

Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever -Walt Disney

A day without sunshine is, like, you know, night -Steve Martin

A Woman's mind is cleaner than a Man's: She changes it more often -Oliver Herford

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is -Ellen DeGeneres

Behind every great man, is a woman rolling her eyes -Jim Carrey

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back -Oscar Wilde 

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings -Robert Bloch

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man -Lana Turner




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