Lessons For A Thief

A Series of Unfortunate Events

I am a thief. Don't judge me by what I do if you haven't heard my story. This is not a fairy tale that's full of rainbows and unicorns. My mother died when I was born and my father blamed me for her death. He left me when I was young. I can't tell you how old I was because I can't remember. I have been by myself since then and I have learnt to look after myself. I don't need your pity, the truth is that I enjoy this life. I consider myself a jack of all trades. You need something done then I'm your girl, as long as there's something in it for me. My name is Alex and my lesson for you is NEVER trust a book by its cover.

I was sprinting through the woods and could hear four sets of heavy foot prints pounding after me. They were breathing extremely heavily. Those brutes really need to work on their fitness. They had no idea that they were at an extreme disadvantage. I know this woods like the back of my hand and I know all of its secrets. I climbed up a tree so that I was hidden from their sight. "Oi where'd she go?" One of the thugs panted as he tried to regain his breath. The continued to look around for a couple of minutes before running off in some random direction. 'Ha, they are so lost'.

I swung out of the tree and landed in a crouched position. *Crunch* I look up quickly. Before I could run away I felt two large hands grab my arms and pin my wrists behind my back. "Ouch, that's no way to treat a lady." I said in the sweetest tone I could. "I know who you are so don't act innocent with me." His voice was low and gruff and not exactly friendly. "Whoa buddy, ever heard of a breath mint." His breath smelt like some type of extremely strong alcohol. "What do you want with me? I don't believe I've taken anything from you." I didn't need to see his face as I could practically sense him smirking behind me. "It's not me who wants something from you.

Then everything went black.

I woke up in a dark room and I was lying on a wooden floor. It smelt like salt water and mould. God, ever heard of cleaning. I sat up slowly then my head started pounding. My whole body hurt. In short summary, feel like I've been trampled by horses. I heard a door creek and a bright light shone right in my eyes. "Well look who's up." God, I know that voice... "You again. What did you need someone to make you feel dumb? Cause I'm pretty sure anyone could do that." He growled like an animal, I stuck my tongue at to show him how scary he was.

"Let's go." He grumbled through clenched teeth. He grabbed my wrists, which were now tied together with a scratchy rope, and hauled me up a set of stairs. When we reached the top of the stairs he threw me to the floor. "Ow, that hurt." I flip the hair from my face and look up. I was surrounded by men who all look tough and well built. "This is a less than ideal situation. Which of you is the reason that I was knocked out and tied up?" I heard a series of snickers and grunts. "That lovey, would be me."

A man walked forward. He was different from the others. He had dark hair that was almost black. It hung just over he's bright blue eyes. They were like stormy seas. He was built but no to the extremity of the thugs that still surrounded me. So pretty much, he was drop dead gorgeous. He wore black from his head to his toes, apart from his white blouse, which was just enough that I could see his chiselled chest. Which by the way, was flawless.

"And you are?" I asked, remembering this was the jerk who kidnapped me. "My name love, is Scott and I know exactly who you are." Crap, even his smile is amazing. "You wanna know a secret?" I asked seductively. He raised an eyebrow and lent closer. I moved my face close to his ear so that my lips were just touching it.

"Your men went easy on me with the ropes because I'm a woman." I twisted my hands out of the rope and grabbed his vest and pulled him towards me. At that second all of his men drew swords and pointed them towards us. "See, you don't know anything about me. Here let me help you out." I said, tightening my grip on him. "Lesson number one. Never judge a book by its cover." With that I pushed him backwards and he signalled for his men to lower their swords. "Now what do you want"

"You know what lets have this conversation away from the men with the pointy swords, shall we." I grabbed him by the scuff of his collar and let him to a room that was behind him. "Well this is a lot nicer than the hole you left me in." I looked like an office and had a large desk in the centre of the room. "Lesson number two. Always be the smartest person in the room. I know why I'm here. I am well aware of the lovely bounty on my head. So the real question is which bounty is the largest." I said as I sat down in the chair behind the desk.

He looked slightly shock but quickly regained his composure and smirked. "Well we wouldn't want you being under-priced, now would we?" God he needs to stop smirking. "So, what are you going to do? Chain me up again?" He stepped forward and lent towards me so that our faces were less than a centimetre away. "Well that's an idea. Men!" With that a group of men burst through the door and hoisted me from the chair. "Tie her up again and make sure it's tight this time." The men held my hands behind my back and wrapped the itchy rope around my wrists again.

"Ouch!" The men pushed me forwards towards Scott. "More ties, kinky. So you know, my safe word is apples." I whispered against his ear before his brutes could drag me away. With that they dragged me back to the dark room where I woke up. "Great."

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