The Truth About Love

Part 2

Today was the day I was leaving. I had the notes all wrapped up and ready to give to him. I was nervous. I was quite nervous. What if he'd stop talking to me? What if he told his girlfriend? What if everything went wrong and we weren't friends anymore.

So as you can see, I was absolutely terrified. I really didn't want him to know how I felt about him; everything was going great the way it was! Yet, I needed the feeling off of my shoulders. It was just more weight to carry and I couldn't take it anymore.
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I was leaving in three hours and two of them I was attending a lifeguard training class. It was now or never; I would've preferred never but ... Now was a good option. I drove up to his apartment and texted him to come outside. I walked to the steps and saw him come down. I had told him just before I left that I had something to give him. However, he had no idea what he was about to receive. I went up the stairs and kind of met him half way. We hugged, without seperating I lifted the note and gave it to him. We parted as he asked when I'd be coming back for the third time that day. I responded the same, a few weekends from now Cole, and laughed. We must've hugged three more times before I left. I said my last goodbye and tears fell down my cheeks as I ran to my car. I wiped them away and drove home. On the way there all I could think about was what he'd say or do. Of course my thoughts were never positive about the subject. Always ended up being him hating me or never wanting to speak to me again, his girlfriend telling him to not talk to me or never to see me again. I can live with her being mad or us just staying friends but ... Any of those would just kill me. I may love him but he's still my best friend. He's one of the few people I can't go a day without talking to.
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I arrived home minutes later and when I entered my phone wouldn't stop dinging. I was getting multiple messages, one which was from Cole.

I ignored the others and hesitantly but immediately tapped his. He had finished both notes and had claimed they made him cry. I was trying to act natural about it despite the fact my heart was slowly breaking one piece at a time. I knew as soon as I gave him the note I'd regret it. I guess I'm just stupid and delusional. How could I even think he'd realize I'm amazing and he'd fall for me once more?! Exactly I couldn't; because I knew it was wrong.
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I walked to my room tears rolling down my cheeks. I was so relieved he knew. It was off my chest and that made me joyful, but I was terrified he'd say something that could forever ruin my life. The mixture of these two emotions caused nothing but tears and anger; anger in my emotions, anger in myself.
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I'm sure he told his girlfriend I mean, that's who he is. She never confronted me or anything I know about but recently, since he's gotten the note, how often we talk has decreased. He doesn't really text me anymore. When I text him he's busy-which is fine don't get me wrong! I just ... Now that it's done it has cause a bit of unnecessary drama and ... I wish I never gave it to him. I wish I never felt this way about him; or anyone for that matter! I wish I never felt the pain of loving someone that can't be yours!

All I wanted was one last chance. One last time to show him I've changed, we've changed. It's like every time we broke up was my fault! I did something and he just ended it! He broke my heart so many times and each time I put it together it was only to realize he didn't just break it, the last time ... He stole it.