P.S. I don't know

PROLOGUE

"It's all because of me. I know its my fault, Why did I drink so much?? How could I lose control over myself?", I said to myself while crying in my bedroom.
I could not stop crying because I was overwhelmed with the emotions I was feeling . I blamed myself for whatever happened as I always do. Even this time I thought it was my fault and maybe it was actually me who did something wrong.
"Honey, are you alright?", My mom asked with worry in her voice.
I knew she wanted to come in but I was not willing to open the door.
"Yes m-om", I tried to say but my voice broke in-between.
"Ok fine. I think you are not going to explain your behaviour but if you feel better, just remember that we are there for you and you can always come talk to us whenever you want about anything and everything.", mom assured me.
I was never comfortable to share my troubles or feelings with anyone not even my parents. It's just the way I am.
I decided to leave the house as soon as possible so that I could get some fresh air and stop troubling myself with my overthinking.
I opened the door and to my surprise mom was still standing outside my door.
"I knew that you will come out of room and leave the house as soon as possible. I know you, you are my daughter. Why don't you share your feelings with me? I am your mother, maybe I will be able to help you.", Mom said and left me to my thoughts maybe she wanted me to experience everything but wanted to make sure that I knew that she will always be there for me.
But her words were still echoing in my mind. I always want people to understand me but then I don't want them to know me well enough that they can hurt me. Yes, I am afraid of getting hurt. I dont know what happens to me. I am becoming moody a lot..

*** THAT NIGHT***

I am so happy. I am about to go to my first party. It is a halloween party and for the first time we have decided to go there instead of going for "trick or treat" and get as many candies as possible.Location of the party is also a bit weird and frightening. There have been so many animal attacks in that area. Its near a forest and it is a theme party too. We all are supposed to be dressed in supernatural creatures' costume. I m so excited as I get to be dressed as a vampire. Vampires are my favorite creatures. They are so fast, so adorable. Yes, I said adorable, I don't know why but the idea of meeting a vampire excites me. I absolutely love vampires. I haven't seen them but I have imagined or maybe I can say that I have dreamt about them a lot.
I picked all of my black dresses and chose the one which was not too fancy and not too casual. I kept my hair down and curled the ends to make it look good. I wore black flats and also used fake fangs to look like an actual vampire. I did not put a lot of make-up so that I do not look like a doll.
Sarah-my best friend came to pick me up for the party. She was dressed in a witch costume. I don't get it, why was she interested in witches??
"Witch costume again??", I asked while raising an eyebrow.
"This is the only costume I want to wear", Sarah said.
"But aren't witches supposed to be scary?", I asked curiously.
"Even I used to think that way but according to what I have researched so far, they change with time. So now they may not be like ancient scary witches.", she replied and motioned towards the car.
"What more do you know about witches?", I asked.
"Hmm..I came to know that even they are born as humans and gain their powers gradually.", She answered and started driving.
Yes,she could drive. Her parents allowed her to drive and my parents are totally opposite. They are over-protective. They don't allow me to drive and are always worried about my whereabouts. Sometimes I feel like they are hiding something from me.
Sarah looked at me suspiciously.
"What?", I yelled.
"Its just that whenever you think a lot, you become moody.", she said as she tried to calm me down.
I nodded in agreement. The ride to the venue was silent and maybe that was what I needed. Some time to cool myself down.
As we both entered the old,creepy looking building, We saw peter with his friends No, peter is not my other best friend. He was in werewolf's costume. He saw us and walked towards us. I knew that Sarah liked him. So I started teasing her just like all friends do. She started panicking and I just enjoyed the way she was behaving.
"Hi Gwen and Sarah!", He said.
"Hi", Sarah said immediately.
"Looks like this party is really awesome. Let me go and see where all the drinks are.", I said trying to escape the awkwardness.
"Yeah and we have arranged alcohol too.", He said with a smirk.
"But alcohol is not permitted for minors,right?", Sarah asked him.
"Yes but no one can stop us from having fun and nothing is impossible for me.", his smirk growing bigger.
He left and went back to his friends.
"So what's next?", I asked her.
"What?", She said as she blushed.
"As if you don't know. So who's gonna propose first?", I asked teasingly.
"Stop doing that", she said shyly.
"Ok. i will but you will have to tell me everything.", I told Sarah and we started to dance with our group.
"Do you wanna enjoy alone today?", Sarah asked me.
"I am with you. I m not alone.", I said with a confused look on my face.
"I mean don't you want a date?", She asked me.
A date? I was not ready for that. I have never dated anyone and maybe I was waiting for my knight in shining armor.
"I know. I know. You dont want a date but just for today.", Sarah tried to convince me.
"How about shady guy? He's hot", Sarah asked.
Shady guy means Jason. He is called shady guy because he did not interact with many people and is extremely mysterious.
I looked where Sarah was looking and it shocked me when I saw him staring straight at me. Wait!! He was in a vampire costume too. But he looked handsome in that costume and it looked as if it was made for him. He looked like real vampire.
Sarah and I went to the bar to get some drink where peter and his friends were.
I drank a lot and now i don't even remember the names of the brands I drank. Because i was too drunk by then.
Peter and Sarah tried to take care of me but I was so drunk that I ran away from them and towards the woods to have "fun".
I was about to enter the woods but i suddenly felt cold,strong hands on my wrist. I could understand that it was winter night so,it must be cool. But it made me shiver and I turned to see who it was. I thought it was peter but it was Jason.
I tried to run again but he blocked my way and I could see anger on his face. So I did not try to run again because I did not know him and I was scared of his actions.
I yelled at him,"why are you blocking my way?"
"Are you serious? I just saved you. I stopped you from entering the woods. It's too dangerous for you to go there.", He yelled back at me.
I was shocked at his behavior. Could a guy as handsome as him be worried about me? And he actually saved me. I felt bad about shouting at him.
"Sorry. It's my fault and I accept it. Now leave me. I need to go back to the party?", I said sheepishly.
"Are you sure? Because you look really drunk. I think that you won't be able to walk properly.", He said and loosened his grip.
Maybe he was right because as soon as he let me go, I was about to fall but he held me tight in his arms. I thanked him for that. I could smell his perfume,it made me feel like heaven. He smelt so good.
I just stared at him and observed how his expressions were changing. His blue eyes,fair skin which was shining with the help of moonlight and his lips looked so soft. I just wanted to feel his lips on mine and then I don't know what happened to me, I lost my control and leaned forward to kiss him.
I kissed him and a chill passed through my spine. I felt him smiling while kissing me back but then, I gained my senses back. What will he think about me? What kind of a girl am I?
I was shocked at my own behavior and I freed myself from his arms and ran back to the party.
I found Sarah on my way and told her that I am leaving and she could enjoy the party. Even though I needed my best friend right now, I knew this was her chance to get to know Peter. I assured her that I will take a cab and text her when I reach home.
Peter stopped me with worry on his face.
"What the hell happened? Why did you run?", He asked.
"I will explain that later. I have to hurry.", I replied and ran before he could see the tears falling from my face.

***** present *****

I reached the door to leave the house and went out but I felt sudden breeze on my body. I felt goosebumps on my arms and legs. It was freezing cold. I went back to get my sweater and then I started walking towards the nearest garden.
I always went to the garden when I felt sad or angry. This time I felt both. I felt sad but I don't know the reason and I was annoyed at myself that it was my fault, I don't know what happened to me and I did that.
I reached the garden and sat on a bench which was near the pond. It was my favorite bench. I was not willing to think again about what happened so, I just decided to talk it out with Jason and tell him not to get wrong hints about it.
I was busy pondering but then, I felt a human figure moving near the bushes. It frightened me a bit and started going back to the house. But it was weird for someone to be at the garden at that time of the night. Even I had to jump the gate and enter the garden. I know it was illegal to do that but my mind doesn't work when I am either sad or angry. I ran back to my house because I felt someone following me.
I entered my house and left a sigh of relief. I went to my parents' room to say goodnight and then, I went back to my room to sleep and just wait for tomorrow to sort everything out between me and Jason. I just can't bare the weight on my conscience anymore.

******
Hello!! I m krisha. I m a new writer and I would appreciate if you comment and like as much as you can.
This story is a lot different than all the other stories and be free to ask your doubts and I will try to update as soon as possible.