My story

Mom and Depression

By now I'm sure people have done so many of these. But I'm bored, and none of my friends are avalible. So I'm here to talk about my messed up life and show others that they aren't alone. Lets start with my mom; she is a good mother. She makes sure I have food, which I have to cook myself. She supplies cable, internet, and books. She generally doesnt care what I do, I can be friends with who I want, I can leave the house whenever I want as long as I have my phone, she lets me watch what I want, except R rated stuff, and she never makes me do what she wants, I can be whatever I want to be (a computer tech guy thingy, but we can talk about that later). But, she is never there for me(15, male) or my sister(23, female, duh), she is always on her laptop doing school work. She is going to collage for her second doctorate, in psychology. If I say "Hi mom." she tells me to shush and to leave her alone. she never wants to hang out, she just wants to finish her school work, and in her free time she wants to watch tv, be with her boyfriend, her friends, or be at an AA meeting. Now dont get me wrong she isn't horrible. She does care about me, but she rarely shows it. She knows very little about what I go through in my life. I'm depressed, and I have insomnia, so I spend most nights in my room trying to destract myself from my suicidal thoughts, which I will never give into, I have a strong will to live, I want to grow up into a fine man with a wife and kids, and nothing can stop me. These thoughts I have are just that, thoughts. they have no power, and they dont control me. I control them. now that doesn't mean I don't struggle. Like I said, I have to destract myself. I sometimes just start to cry, and sometimes in the worst places, like at school or outside, and have to hide it. I have run out of space, so I got to go. Bye. Stay tuned for more.