The red light aside my webcam signaled I was live on Younow. I have been on Younow for almost a year and it's where I found Dakota, also known as my boyfriend of 3 months. He is my sunshine and my source of happiness.
My heart raised as I saw the comments flood my broadcast. A smile spread across my face as my eyes browsed through all the sweet messages.
Twenty minutes into answering questions, laughing, and showing my fans funny pictures of Dakota, I noticed that the positive comments started to fade away. In just a short period of time, all of the comments were hate and negative. My eyes scanned the screen as my pulse quickened.
'Dakota is too good for you. You don't deserve the dirt he walks on. kys lmao'
'Fat bitch go die.'
Everyone one was more elaborate than the previous. My heart was pounding against my chest as I started to feel trapped. Like my walls were closing in on me. I have never experienced such hate and negativity in my life, and for it all to be targeted towards me.. I can't handle it.
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I wiped them away. I didn't want my fans to see me so hurt and sensitive. I knew my supporters were still watching me and trying to break through the hate but the bad comments continued to spill in at a rapid pace.
My bottom lip quivered as I shut my eyes tight, trying to avoid all the bad names and threats that crowded my vision. I've never felt this down before, it was my lowest low, and I had no idea how to handle it.
I felt so small and pointless. I needed to get off.
"I'm sorry guys... I-I gotta get off for a little bit, love you." And with that I ended the broadcast.
It was pointless to wipe the tears considering they would be replaced with fresh, new ones in a matter of seconds. My sobs echoed throughout my empty house. My parents get off of work super late.
My heart was heavy with sadness as imagines of the comments popped into my head. I ran my fingers through my hair, my feelings were everywhere. I sat on the foot of my bed and balled my eyes out. My legs quivered as I rocked back and forth, pushing my thighs against my chest, cradling myself. My lips stayed sealed, trying to contain the loud and heavy sobs wanting to escape until they broke through. I stood from my spot and paced around my room before giving up and throwing myself into a corner. I was hysterical. I was gripping my hair with such a grip I thought I would rip it out. My knuckles were white and starting to rip. I could barely see through my puffy red eyes.
So, this was what rock bottom feels like?
I heard the door nob jiggle but I didn't stop my sobs. I couldn't even though I wanted too badly. At this point I was gasping for air.
A head popped through the crack of my door, and his eyes immediately fell to my lifeless body in the corner. He rushed through the door, dropping a random bouquet of flowers on my bed. I would normally smile, but at that moment, I could barely frown.
He crouched down in front of me, taking my fragile hands in his. He had a mixture of worried, scared, and confusion written all over his face. He studied my dull eyes.
"Baby what's wrong?" He questioned. I continued to sob looking down at my lap. Dakota lifted me up onto the bed and sat down in front of me.
"Babe, please talk to me." He said raising my chin to look him with my sad eyes. I tried to slow my heavy breath to tell him.
"Younow... th-there was hate... a lot... I couldn't take it all." I tried to speak without hyperventilating. I was looking down, my chest rising at a fast pace. Dakota was attempting to calm me down.
Dakota's POV-
There she was, my babygirl, sobbing uncontrollably, because of people that want me all to themselves. She is my life, I can't live without her. The thought of her leaving me over the hate killed me. In fact, it was terrifying.
Y/N's breathing was picking up speed as I saw her thinking, probably about the terrible broadcast. I put my hands on her face, trying to rub my thumbs on her cheeks like she likes, then I tried to rub her back the way she always asked for, but it was starting to scare me. Nothing worked. It was at that moment, I knew what I had to do, I've never done it before and I've been saving it for a time like this, where it has to escape or she needs to hear it. I just needed to say it.
"Y/N... I love you."
Her head looked up at me as her breathing stopped, it worked.
"What?" She said looking into my eyes.
"I love you. God, I love you so much, babe. I've known that for a long time and I wish I said it sooner. You are my everything. I can't handle seeing you in this much pain, beautiful." I paused. She waited.
"Why in the world would you listen to those people?" I said, almost stern. She shook her head.
"It's not them I believed, it was what they were saying. You are too good for me Dakota! I don't deserve you! Everyone knows it, including me. You could do so much better, you know that." She cried.
I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her into my lap, leading her into a passionate kiss. Our lips moved in sync as I felt her hot tears travel to my cheeks.
I pulled away and rested my head on hers.
"Oh, Y/N, for a smart girl, you really are gullible. Baby, I'm the one that's out of your league. You are my sunshine and I couldn't be happier when I'm with you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Aw it feels so good to say." I smiled. Her mouth curved into a smile as well.
"I love you too, Dakota. Thank you for making me feel so much better, baby. I promise, I will always love you so much. Thank you sunshine." She kissed my nose making me chuckle.
"Anytime, beautiful."
