Why Worry? |CodyCarsonxReader

1

I told myself I wouldn't run. I told myself not to run away from those monsters. The ones that hid under my bed, watching me while I slept. The monsters that hid in my closet, waiting for any chance they could get to slide their hands down my back. To wrap their hands fingers around my ankles. To try to tear me apart.
I wouldn't run away. Because it was something I could handle. It was something I was used to.

Depression.
That was a topic I was always weary about discussing. Everyone incorporated it differently. Everyone felt different things. Yet at the same time, everyone argues about how they feel the same things.

Humans are such delicate creatures.

We rely on others to make ourselves happy, and we forget that it's really ourselves that we should be looking after.
And the only time we seem to notice ourselves, is when we look down upon ourselves. When we are so concerned with our appearance.
Why?
Who are we trying to impress?
Why do we need to impress them?

Well maybe if I took my own advice I'd understand.

~♥~

It seemed too easy. Giving up seemed to easy.
The way my crestfallen face looked back at me, from the water. When I wasn't focusing on my reflection, faint scars could be seen on my legs. Each of which had a story. A bike accident when I was 5, an animal scratch, fairly recent. Stretch marks, which weren't my favorite. And some self inflicted.

After letting out an almost inaudible sigh, my face sinks down into the water, with the rest of my body. It felt lukewarm.

How long had I been in here? Contemplating.

I decided I had to get out, before my mind went completely numb.

I started to sit up, slowly, getting ready to get back on my feet. The water sloshed around as my body lifted out of the small ceramic tub.

A white, fluffy bath mat rested beneath my feet, as I reached for a towel. Water dripped from my arms as I felt the cool air take over my body.

I retrieved the towel, wrapping it around my figure.

"Nothing.. -" I began to give myself a prep talk in the mirror. "Nothing is going to-"

My attempt at making myself feel better from the previous events was interrupted by a sudden loud, and quite obnoxious knock on the bathroom door.

"___, would you please hurry up? I have to take a piss!"

Rolling my eyes, I yell back at my brother, just as loud. "Would you watch your language?" Ignoring my request, he pounds on the door again.

Holding my towel against my body, I open the door, "What do you-.. Ugh, Austin you're drunk."

He shook his head, convinced he was right.

"Dude I can smell it on you. What happened?"

Shrugging his shoulders, and slowly leaning into the door frame, he replies, "The guys and I just went out for a drink. We were practicing all night. It was Maxx's idea, and.."

Crossing my arms over my chest, still trying to hold my towel in place, I urge him to continue. "And?"

He let's out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "I guess I just had to much to drink."

I was annoyed. "How'd you get home? Did you drive here? You know that's illegal right? You could have gotten h-"

"Hey! Come on, ___.. You know I wouldn't do that."

"Well not if you're drunk!" I threw my hands up in the air.

He smiles at my gesture.

"You think this is funny?" A look of annoyance, clearly still pastured on my face.

His smile only grows, and he rests an arm on my shoulder. "Your so concerned for your big brother."

I roll my eyes at his remark. "That's only because you're a blatant idiot, whom I always wind up having to babysit. I'm the one that gets in trouble if anything happens to you. So do me a favor-" I put my hand back on the bathroom doorknob. "And stop getting drunk." I shut the door in his face, and enter the bathroom to continue what he had interrupted.

"Can you let me in so I can pee?"
I heard his voice from the other side of the door. But I say nothing.

"No..?"