Intention

Chapter 10: Doubt

She must have been staring aimlessly at her plate of food. Her mistake, she should have been more thoughtful. Not let anything show. Something she was good at, hiding herself. Not standing out. It had been her greatest strength for years; a striking personality would not have given her the leeway to become Lady Whistledown.

She had experienced this anonymity as a warm blanket. No one looked at her. It was a distinct opportunity to prick up her ears and hear what she needed to fill her gossip sheet. Her writing had started out of a combination of restlessness, boredom, and an urgency to write something.

But she did not know exactly what that was until one day, at yet another ball where the Featherington daughters had failed to attract suitors, she heard Lady Canterbury gossiping about her, her mother, and her sisters.

'They do look dreadful, the Featheringtons in their ball gowns. All from the last two seasons. Ghastly... Penelope in that hideous yellow citrus dress, for example. You can see that Mama Featherington is desperate to find her daughters suitors, but the girls are all so... awkward. Apart from Mr. Finch but he is as outer worldly as Philippa, no one will show any interest in them. It is incredibly sad.'

Penelope should not have heard that. No doubt, but she did. Although part of her could not deny that they were a sad bunch together, that did not give the haughty Lady Canterbury the right to speak about her and her family like that. She was keen on revenge, no matter what. The opportunity did not present itself right away and took some time to present itself.

A few weeks later, Penelope was at another dull ball and had to watch Cressida try to get Colin to dance with her, which luckily, he was not interested in. A smile crossed her lips when she heard Colin make an excuse to get away from her. However, Penelope was not granted a moment's respite, because not much later she saw Colin dancing with a debutante she had never seen before. 'New Money,' she suspected, at least that was the condescending name given to new arrivals.

Fortunately, she was not too deep in thought. The mention of the name Lady Canterbury had caught her attention. The buzz was almost imperceptible, but she clearly picked it up. A deal gone wrong. Scammed. They kept up appearances, but they had had to sell a couple of possessions and even jewellery. Penelope had already noticed that the always, so adorned Lady Canterbury had bare neck at recent events, but this was the reason.

And the reason fuelled her inspiration. An idea. What if she gave outsiders a glimpse into the world of the ton? Exposing them for what they truly were, that their inner ugliness, arrogance, and condescension were beautifully hidden behind a veneer. Because only she, Penelope, saw the cracks showing through the surface, behind the genuine-looking smiles, jealousy and distrust reigned. The resentment of not allowing someone else to have what they wanted for themselves.

One day, when her mother and sisters went to congratulate some bride or other and Portia had to watch someone else marry her daughter, Penelope used a headache as an excuse to stay at home. She had acted well because Portia had somehow found her credible. She slipped the butler a note and bought his discretion, and away she went. Penelope had pretended to be a maid and told the printer, an influential and affluent personality in the world of the upper class, that she had a profitable idea that would benefit them both. Although the printer was enthusiastic, he needed persuasion, much to Penelope's disappointment.

'We will try one edition. If it is a success, I will go into business with you, madam...'

'My mistress wishes to remain anonymous,' Penelope replied quickly.

'Works for me, but if I lose out, I need to be able to recoup the costs that I made,' the printer Mr. Carter replied slyly.

'You will not have to. I.. I mean, my mistress is convinced that her idea will be fruitful.'