A Fishy Business

Chapter 1: Like a Fish to Water

I’m Marina and I live a fairly normal life in a house with my mum, her boyfriend Rob and our cat, Panda.  The house is quite small, and sometimes this is annoying because I catch Rob and Mum having a sneaky kiss in the hallway or Rob picking his nose.  Rob’s ok.  Mum met him five years ago and he’s the only boyfriend she’s ever stayed with.  I haven’t seen my dad in ages.  I knew him for a year or so, but then Mum decided to leave.  She told me I wouldn’t like my father anyway, and I’ll just have to take her word for it (seeing as I have no other choice).  Rob’s a plumber.  He claims to have seen some pretty horrible sights throughout his plumbing days- a dead frog down a toilet and other disgusting things I won’t tell you about.  I, indeed, begged not to be told about these things, but Rob thinks its funny.  When Rob’s not working, or telling me gross stories, he’s watching television.  He’s obsessed with the Discovery Channel and holiday shows.  “Ah, I’d love to get away from this hell hole,” I often hear him say about England.  He’s never been abroad.

I also like my Mum.  No, wait.  I love my mum.  But I’ve noticed she’s not very popular with our neighbours.  Mrs. Jenkins says she’s “barking mad” after Mum took care of her dog whilst Mrs. J was on holiday in Skegness.  Well, I think Mum is great.  She doesn’t lose her temper easily, like other mums sometimes do.  I’ve seen some crazy mums in my time.  Mums who make their children practice the piano for a thousand hours each day, and mums who wear stilettos on the school run.

And what about me?  Mum says I am a pretty, delicate old thing.  I’m quite small, but don’t be mistaken!  I can stand up for myself.  You’re as big as you feel.  There’s one weird thing about me though and it’s something I don’t often talk about with people.  That’s because no one ever understands.  But I’ll tell you.  The thing is…OK, and don’t be horrified, or shocked, or grossed out…or even upset.  The thing is…

I can’t go in water.  Mum says I have a terrible phobia of the stuff.  Apparently, when I was little, Mum put me in water and I freaked out.  I couldn’t breathe and she had to take me to hospital.  Since then, Mum has insisted that I never go into the water.  But don’t worry- I do wash!  It just takes a long time.  I dab myself with a wet towel.  It’s not the most effective of methods, but I’d rather that than...  I don’t know what…  Mum tells me at least ten times a week, that I must never immerse myself in the water, and I follow her advice.  A mother knows what’s best, right?  Well, that’s what I thought, until I discovered otherwise… 

It was a Monday morning and I had school as normal.  At this time of the day, I am extremely tired.  Mum says I’m a hypersomniac, which means I sleep for longer than needed.  I always arrive late for class.  On this particular morning I was later than usual because I fell asleep on the bus just as it reached my stop.  I awoke abruptly at the next stop, having been startled by a man with terrible body odour having taken the seat next to me.  That’s what you call “a blessing in disguise.” 

Luckily, I have a nice teacher, Mrs. Ellersly.  She never gets too cross when I’m late, but this morning, I did hear her tut as I arrived.  As usual, I sat next to my best friend, Amber.  I like Amber.  She listens, so I can do all the talking, as well as being kind-hearted and always sharing her chocolates with me.  At night, we chat for hours on the phone.  Sometimes, we’re rude about our classmates at our new school, Burton Hall.  The girls are very competitive and rude to each other.  Rob says it’s because we’re all clever.  We constantly have to compete to get ourselves noticed.  I particularly dislike one girl.  Her name is Alison Ashelby.  She’s incredibly rude, and terrible at keeping things to herself.   I once told her a few of my secrets, and everyone knew them an hour later!  That was the end of our friendship.  I’m slightly frightened of her, anyway.  She’s almost six foot tall with big buckteeth and an evil glare.