Diary of a Single Mom

January 15, 1991

*January 6th, 1991, continued.*

What are you doing?? Stop!! Your not killing your baby!! Ugh, what are you going through?? Stop this, madness!!!
I screamed at myself. I shook my head and turned off my laptop. I breathed heavily, what was I doing?? I shook my head and walked to the bathroom and took a shower. I got out of the shower and dressed in pj's. I walked downstairs to see my mother and father watching a movie. I ignored them as iu really didn't want to talk to them, especially not now.

I walked to the kitchen and fixed myself something to eat. After I finished, I hurried back upstairs as I still didn't want any conversation what so ever. I walked to my room and closed the door behind me. I got on my laptop and wrote a few things down on Word:

Diapers.

Bips.

Baby clothes.

Bottles.

What in the hell am I going to do with a fucking baby?

Baby carseat.

Baby stroller.

Baby food.

Baby toys.

How in the fuck am I going to do this??

I thought that was enough for my list as I saved it and printed it. I reread it as I laughed to myself for keeping the two questions on the list. I left the paper in my folder as I knew no one would touch it. I moved the folder aside and turned off my laptop. I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I walked back to my room and hopped into bed, for a good 5 hour deep sleep.

•January 15•

I haven't written in my diary for quite some days, as I was to tired. School has been killing me!! My parents and friends have been worrying about me. But I still couldn't get my mouth to speak the words: I'm pregnant. Deal with it. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't, as I knew I would lose family and friends. But I did decide to tell Issac that I was pregnant with his baby.

I called him up.

"Hi." He spoke, knowing who I was. I wasn't his girlfriend, I was his side chick.
"Hey!!" I tried to cheer myself up as I knew he didn't want to talk with me.
"Wassup??" As he knew I had to call for a reason.
"Look Issac, I know we're not dating and all, but sometimes I just need to talk to you. I love you." I spoke honestly.
"Okay let's talk." He said. Then I heard a door open and close.
"Can we meet up. It's really important." I whined.
"Sure okay. Um at the movies around 10:30, yes??" He spoke.
"Sounds good. Cant wait!!" I cheered up again.
"Yeah. Kay, go to go, see you there." He hung up.

I cheered myself on for at least accomplishing the little fact that I called him. I walked to the bathroom and ran some water. Once it was hot enough, I got in and took a soak in the bath water. About ten minutes later I got out. I walked to closet and grabbed a turquoise, two finger, summer shirt and some almost boot cut, diamond blue, jeans. I got dressed. I sat on my bed and placed on some black converse. I got up and brushed my hair. I brushed it flat. I added a turquoise headband. I brushed my teeth. I sprayed a little perfume onto myself. I grabbed my phone and headphones.

I walked downstairs to see my mother. "Where are you going??" She spoke. I spoke honestly, "To the movies." She lifted her eyebrows, "Oh. And who are you going with?" I spoke honestly again, "A boy." She lifted her eyebrows again, "Woah. Your growing up!! I want you home by 12:15, understand??" I nodded. She nodded slowly, "Excuse me." She walked passed me and went upstairs. I shrugged and walked out of the door. I walked to my car and unlocked it. I got in and drive off.

...

When I reached the movies it was 10:13. I sat in my car and listened to music until it was 10:40, fashionably late. I laughed to myself and got out of the car. I walked up to the entrance. I opened the door to see Issac waiting for me. I smiled at him, "Sorry I'm late. Momma drama." I lied. He nodded and took hold of my left hand. A very small smile appeared on my face. He had already bought the tickets and we entered within a second of my arrival. He bought popcorn and we went to our numbered movie room.

We sat down and chatted quietly for 15 minutes as the pre-runs played. "What about your girlfriend??" I spoke looking at him. "I love you, I want to be 100% with you. I'm done with her." He spoke. I bit my lip, this is a good time to tell him, I thought. "Issac." I whispered. He turned to me, "Yeah??" I bit my lip hard before I replied, "Remember when we were at my house and we...and we you know??" He lifted his eyebrows, "Yeah." I nodded slowly, "Well...well I'm pregnant." He didn't say anything for along time. I shook my head and turned to watch the movie and desperately waited for him to reply.
...

"Is it mine?" He spoke suddenly. I turned to him and nodded, "Your my first and one and only." He bit his lip and stared at me as if he was trying to figure out if I was lying!! I bit back my anger and turned back to the movie. "What are we going to do?" He whispered so quietly, I barely heard him. "I have no idea." I whispered back, but a little louder. He turned away. "Do you want to keep it??" He referred to our child as a fucking it, is he serious?! "Yeah. I do. Do you want to keep him or her??" He looked away. "No." I nodded slowly and looked away, trying not to cry. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Why are you sorry?" I whispered back. "I'm sorry for getting you pregnant."

***
He's awful, I know!! Anyway, hello all!! Thx so much for reading!! Loving all this love!! I know this isn't a awesome book but its still good!! Just as my other ones. I would really appreciate it if you all recommend my books to your followers and such. Thx so much...♥♥♥