Don't think about it

Beautiful in the dark

Imagine the sun and the sky colliding together in an eternal dance of life. The essences of light flowing like ever-lasting energy. Though these words are enchanting I myself cannot fabricate the feeling of being so close to someone.

How can I feel another person's warmth? I only perceive a portion of nostalgia. Which is weird sense I don't recall feeling like this in the past.

I am an introvert. I know I say it as though introvert is an occupation, but it certainly is not. Exercise is not the problem in my life and neither is weight or health. It's people in general. Skinny as a pole just not as straight. My profile is not a problem until someone else doesn't like me. Any one could ask the kids at my school.

"Xavier Jacob Collins," I hear in the far distance. " I thought we talked about this, you have to leave this house at least once a day."

I open my eyes to see my slightly overweight mother. She has been losing weight. Being honest with my actual thoughts I don't think she's overweight at all. My mother Mary had curves in the correct places, but she called that being fat. She probably only gained about 10 pounds since she was a teenager herself. That may sound unhealthy but she is very short. Maybe I think short people are sort of cute in a weird way.

"Okay." I grab my penny board and start my trip to the park. When I penny board my spirit springs to life almost. There is always something to ruin my day.

As I walk out the door my neighbor, Flynn Reeds, stares at me as I begin to penny board down my driveway into the street.

Flynn and I have only conversed ten times at the maximum. A true friendship never reveals its secrets. Other than that we just stare at each other, but it doesn't feel awkward. I think we communicate better without spoken words, but with small gestures.

Believe it or not we go to the park together sometimes. He rides his bike as I penny board.

I wait for him at the end of our block around 5 o'clock typically the sun is beginning set around this time. Our fathers work for competitive companies. My father told me specifically at a banquet for the two companies not to talk to Flynn and his family. At the time I didn't know who he was to begin with. He seemed to draw my attention, and just like that we swiftly clicked without many words.

Flynn pedals towards me as I reach the end of the suburban block. His crooked smile and hopeful eyes takes me by surprise. I instantly fall off my board. Flynn jumps off his bike in an attempt to capture my before I fell. I hit the ground landing directly on my butt. " Oh my gosh, are you all right? Are you hurt any where?" he asks so quickly my brain can't completely comprehend his words. Flynn's unusually large hands clasp my shoulder.

"Yeah." I didn't expect any of these reactions from Flynn. I did fall. I should stop over reacting. Perhaps he always presented himself this way and I didn't notice because I had a lot of things on my conscience.

"That's a relief." He lets a short sigh and wipes invisible sweat from his forehead. He stands up holding a hand out. Even then he continues to look at me with hopeful eyes and a crooked smile.

I can't pull my eyes away from this different Flynn that I have never seen before. I unintentionally reach for his large hand. He pulls me up with ease.

We've actually never been this close together, nearly chest to chest. My heart is acting weird inside my chest. I really don't understand what's happening to me.

I let my arms return to my side and look to the ground away from his face. Sharply I turn around to retrieve my board. We persist to the park. As we get there I recognize some students from our school.

Immediately I come to a halt at the entrance of the park forcing Flynn to almost tumble into a pile of wood chips. He hops off his bike and chain it to a pole.

"What's wrong?" he asked staring at me with concern lacing his eyes. " Do you know those guys?" My heart drops to what feels like the center of the earth. I look up at Flynn and nod. He hooks his hand around my arm leading us pass the group of boys towards the playground. They all looked up simultaneously. I dropped my penny board.

"Flynn we have to go right now," I rush towards the exit with Flynn on my trail. I turn my head to see the boys following after us. "Oh no, we have to hurry up."

"Xavier! Why are we running?" he shouts signaling our exact location. "What about my bike?"

"Those guys back there, bully me just about everyday," I scream at Flynn.

"Where are you little faggot?" I hear them coming around the corner of bushes. I feel like a deer stuck in headlights.

Flynn pushes me into a haze of bushes then enters himself. He places his index finger in front of my lips. My hearts is literally pounding 100 beats per second. It's only a little dim light shinning into the bushes.

Outside we hear the boys pass by spewing out hateful names for me. We wait in silence for a few minutes. "The coast is clear Xavier," he says while peeking his head out of the bushes.

"Thank you for helping me Flynn," I said.

"Are you gay," Flynn asked. I look up at him as slow as I possibly could to make out Flynn's face in the darkness with my eyes wide open.

"I umm I," how could I answer that. If I say yes he might hate me and regret being my friend. I put my head down unsure how to resolve my predicament.

He looks over my small frame. His large hand tilting my head his direction. "Xavier, I really like you."

His face inches closer to mine ever so slowly until our breaths mingle. His eyes concentrated on my lips, though the light is poor. With one small swoop he steals my first kiss in some bushes on our block.

My lips tingle as his warmth spreads through me. I melt into his large hands as he caresses the small hairs on the back of my neck. He pulls away resting his head against mine. Our breathing labored. "I really do like you," he insists forcing a smile to creep onto my face.

"I knew your smile would be beautiful even in the dark."