20

Hey, so I wrote this while waiting in a doctor's office on my phone so its crap and unedited. The punctuations probably horrendous and makes you want to stab your eyes out but guess what, foite me irl. I'm kidding but eh, I hope it's...enjoyable though short and I know transitions are rough. Tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Chapter one: 20 pounds of chocolate.

I sat there, eyes wide open, unblinking. Staring at the computer screen, oh no, no, no, no! Don't! Don't go in there Dean!

'You're too darn hot to die!' I yell while rummaging through my desk rubbish trying to find leftover chocolate bar to shove in my face hole.

A thumping noise disrupts my single handed upwrapping of my chocolate dinosaur.

Oh god, someone's broken in and killed Beth!

I quickly stuff a handful of chocolate into my mouth while jumping to my feet scurrying to grab a lightsaber and sneak out of my room.

'Oh!' sounds a muffled moan and then a thud as I grow closer to Beth's bedroom. I stifle a sound of worry while gripping my lightsaber tighter, she's being killed for sure. I can't afford rent alone.

As I stand infront of Beth's door my life flashes before my eyes, I can't die! I haven't even finished the latest episode of Supernatural. This is just wrong, what a sick, sick freak to break in and kill us at such an inconvenient time.

It feels like I've been standing there for hours by the time I get the courage to open the door and charge into the room flailing my arms with my eyes closed.

'Stupid no good gangster pants breaking in while I'm watching Supernatural!' I scream and only hear a thud in return.

After a couple seconds of silence I open my eyes to a very shocked looking Beth holding a TV remote which now I can clearly see has been paused on a very....let's just say explicit scene.

'Beth! You're watching porn! How is it so loud?' I say and only receive a shocked face in return.

She continues to stare at me and its only then I realise she's naked, after a couple more seconds of 'let's see who can stare longer' a body hops up from the floor, well not just a body that's stupid, it has a head too!

'Crap, Danny. You...I think I broke my penis...' says the body I now realise is Finn.

I quickly look around, Beth on the messed up bed, Finn standing across the room staring at his penis with a worrisome expression and the porn paused on the TV.

'Oh golly...I don't even know what to say besides that I'm sorry and that you can have take out choice privileges for a....' I ramble on and then it strikes me, wait a minute.

'Heyheyhey! Boys! No boys.' I say to Beth with a little more anger than intended. Rules are rules. We both decided on house rules and we're both meant to enforce them! Even if I could get a boy to want to stick his P in my V I still wouldn't let him do it here, gosh.

'Well, I didn't think you would notice. You've been watching Supernatural all week and been in bed for most of the holidays, you haven't brushed your hair, changed your clothes or even showered. Look at your armpits!' Beth doesn't even look guilty as she says that. Just annoyed.

'Well whatever, if this isn't a rule anymore expect orgies!' I yell over my shoulder with a huff walking back to my room and turning off my lightsaber.

Well isn't this dandy, I just ran into my roommates room flailing my arms and interrupting her and her boyfriend's rockas lovemaking. It's safe to say I'm embarrassed and a little pissed off. She had me worried for my life....and hers.

~~~~~

The next morning I get out of bed, wax my body hair (it's about time I let you go), shower and walk to the kitchen in our apartment.

'Hey, look about last night...' I say to Beth but am immediately interrupted.

'Nonono. Listen up. These holidays all you've done is sit on your ass and be the complete opposite of who you were, I swear you've even gained 10 kilos (about 20 pounds) but that still doesn't give me a reason to call you out on it, I know the break ups been tough on you and I know its not intervention time yet but please pick yourself up before classes start'

Now I've never heard Beth be so blunt and assertive, she's usually soft spoken, friendly and even a liar if I dare say though only for comforting purposes. She'd never hurt anyone's feelings but now, now here's a side I've never seen and I approve. I think I need a good kick in the butt and man, oh man is she right.

Ever since he-who-shall-not-be-named inserted his willy into Rebecca-Ann Wallace's mouth things have been a little rough on me and I do admit I have gained 20 pounds of pure fat which I now look down at and proceed to poke.

'Also, Danny....Finn and I have been talking and we think its about time you get back out there. He has some pretty good looking mates and well, those eHarmony ads are getting a bit better?' Beth gives me a look I can only describe as motherly and right then I know I'm screwed.

Dang it. This is going to be such a jolly start to the school year.

~~~~~

After running all my errands for the day I decided that maybe I should think about getting back out there so to speak, maybe shedding my less than a quarter life crisis pudge and then possibly flatten a certain ex-boyfriends car tires. 

I think things can work out, I then sighed internally as it dawned on me that things couldn't because I had just spotted a box of chocolates on special, seriously ten dollars off, yikes.  

Oh yum, my favourites! With the nuts!  

Before any more distractions ruin me I decide to head to the check out and go home, that's when I spot him. Oh holy mother of god, who is this creature? 

That's when the most cliche thing happens, he turns and stares right at me and well, kind of looks at me in disgust. 

Thanks mate! Like I didn't already know I looked like poop. I quit. 

He stares a moment longer and then.....

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I'm going to expand this chapter a little more when I have time.