Falling Too Far

Chapter 38- You are meant to be acting like a merciless, savage, squirrel.

Dedicated to: swell-vibes

My first instinct was to run and find Emma or Max.

So I did, dashing to the dance floor where I had seen them last, not bothering to apologise to the teenagers I had to shove away to get through. When I finally emerged, the two were nowhere in sight.

You idiot, Noelle. You always have to get your heart broken, don't you?

Well, it was only ever his to break.

The tears began to stream down my face as I searched the whole dance floor for them, no one noticing my current condition as everyone was simply too drunk or too involved in each other.

Like Harper and Bethany. They didn't even see me there.

It was a horrible feeling, your heart breaking. When your heart is just a bloody mess, you throat is so tight and blocked up it hurt, when your legs are heavy with dread, when you were too stupid to even see it coming.

I need to find someone, the rational part of my brain screamed.

I decided to listen to it for once.

I ran past the dance floor, stumbling bluntly in the stupid heels I was wearing, crying a lot harder now- the tears blocking my vision. Finally, I caught sight of Joshua, still in the corner with his friends. I dashed blindly towards him.

"Joshua," I said, my voice breaking as I cried. He turned towards me, his eyes widening as he took in my appearance.

"Oh my god, Noelle," he started towards me, giving a quick nod to his friends. "What happened?"

"Just take me home," I sobbed frantically. "Please just take me home. I'll- I'll pay you back somehow, just please can you- " I choked on my tears, unable to continue.

Stop being weak. Stop crying.

"Yeah, of course!" Joshua answered quickly, running a hand through his hair worriedly. "Just- come with me."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, guiding me through the house. I tried to take comfort in his arm around me, but it just wasn't the same, however much I appreciated it.

Finally, an agonising five minutes later, he helped into his car, then walking round to the driver's side, pulling the door open and slipping in. We drove in silence, before I finally spoke, sniffing pathetically.

I hate myself for crying.

"Sorry I pulled you out of the party," I mumbled, curling my legs up on the leather seat. "I must seem like a selfish female dog now."

"Hey," Joshua put a hand on my knee, rubbing it comfortingly. "You're my friend. Of course I would help you." He opened his mouth again, meaning to say something, but he shut it quickly, pressing his lips tightly together.

"Can I- " He fumbled with a bit of peeling leather on the steering wheel. "Can I ask you what happened?"

I looked at him sadly, wiping the tears away from my cheeks quickly, very aware that my mascara must have been running down my face. "Harper and Bethany are idiots." I simply replied, leaning my head against the seat.

Although Joshua sent me a sorry look, I saw something else glinting in the back of his eyes. "Were they... ?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It was horrible." My voice tightened, just thinking of it again. And all through the drive home, even after, when Joshua dropped me off in my driveway, smiling at me pitifully, it was all I could think of as I walked up the stairs, careful not to wake Mom or Lana up.