Remember Me

Remember Me

It's been two years. Two years. I thought you were dead. You let me grieve. How could you do that? How could you let me suffer, thinking you were buried deep under the ground, covered in soil and eyes forced shut like a door, never meant to be opened. Your pretty, brown, shining eyes, clamped closed, for no one to see: only me. When I close my eyes, the only things I see are your wonderful, beautiful ones, a constellation of hues and colours, swirling around into what looks like a universe in itself, but is only a world - a world full of love, sorrow, joy, and happiness. A world that made mine lose control, orbit around yours. You see, you changed my world.

I remember the exact day I went to your grave. It was a dismal day; cold and cloudy, very much a pathetic fallacy. The grass was wet and the soil was soggy, my hair was damp from the earlier rainfall, and my cheeks were tearstained. I remember standing by your shiny new gravestone, so out of place by the hundreds of crumbling ones, resembling their equally crumbling corpses buried just underneath. I remember staring into nothing, my eyes fuzzy with tears, and my legs shaking with numbness.

"You told me once, that you weren't a hero. There were times when I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, the most human... human being that I have ever known. I was so alone, and I owe you so much." These precise words poured from my mouth like blood, the blood that once belonged to you, seeping into the soil beneath you, the exact spot where you fell. I remember staring up at you; my blood had gone as cold as ice, shattering my heart into a million pieces. That last moment when you made eye contact with me, that was when I knew my life was over.

Two years later, I had moved on with my life. My heart was devoted to someone else, although I could never forget you, as much as I wanted to. You were always in the back of my head, preventing me from sleeping, like a curse in the dead of night. I remember the cold winter's evening, when I was alone in the dark, the bare trees covered in snow like a blanket. I remember how cold my fingers were, my knuckles turning white. This was when you decided to show up out of nowhere. At first, I noticed you out of the corner of my eye, but I disregarded it, knowing I was just letting my thoughts flow around my head. Your very distinctive silhouette was standing there, lurking in the shadows among the murky trees. My heart stopped. My blood ran cold, colder than it was already. My fingers started shaking, and my lips began to clamp shut.

When you finally approached me, I didn't know how to react. I felt sick, so very sick, as if I'd been feeling this way for a very long time, and I only came to realise it when you showed your presence. Your black curls were so beautiful, your skin smooth. But I couldn't look at your eyes. I couldn't bring myself to stare into those eyes of yours, knowing that you had been lying to me these past two years. How could you put me through this? I missed you so much, but now I wish you never came back. Do you even remember me?