I woke up and got excited. Today was my birthday. I was wondering what my boyfriend Louis would give me. I walked to the bathroom and got ready. After that I walked downstairs and ate something, the doorbell rang. That must be Louis, I thought. I ran to the door and opened it. "Louis." I smirked. He smiled a bit. "Hi, Cara." We walked to the parc. I was waiting for him to gratulate me, but he didn't. He never has forgotten my birthday. After a few hours I got annoyed. Did he really forgot my birthday?, I asked myself. I looked at him. He was looking around. I had the feeling he wants to break up with me. "Louis?!" He looked at me. "Yeah?" "Is anything wrong?" He just shaked his head. I looked to the ground. We were still walking through the parc. "So what do you want to do now?", he said bored. I looked at him again and shaked my head. "I have had enough, Louis. You forgot my birthday and acted the whole day like you don't care about me? What's wrong? It's not the first time you act like that. I just can't do this anymore. We're done.", I suddenly shouted and ran away. I ran to my house, into my room. I sat down on the bed and began to cry. I couldn't believe that he forgot my birthday and I couldn't believe what I had done. "I really love him, more than anything else in the world, but I can't do this anymore maybe it's better", I said to myself. I nodded and fell asleep.
As I woke up in the morning I heard my phone ringing, I looked at the display: It was Louis, I clicked on ignore. The tears came again. I sat in my bed, don't know what to do. I decided to watch Tv. In the evening I looked at my phone again: 24 missed calls, they were all from Louis. I threw it away. I cried again and shaked my head. Suddenly my phone began to ring again. I stood up to get it. It was Louis again. This time I decided to pick up. "What do you want?", I said. "Oh finally you picked up. We need to talk, Cara. I need to explain something. Please. I love you.", I heard his voice saying. I shaked my head again. "No Louis we don't, I can't, bye." I ended the call and sat down on the couch again, crying.
I sat in your room and looked around. It has been 4 weeks ago since I broke up with Louis. He wasn't showing up at my house, because I said he should stay away from me. Even if I wished he did. I still loved him. He called me everyday, but today he didn't call me yet. I began to worry. It was already 4 pm, normally he called every minute. 'I can't live without him. It's time' I took my phone and called him. No one answered so I decided to drive to his flat. I stood up, grabbed my keys and walked outside to the car. I drove there, walked there and ringed the doorbell. A policeman opened the door. I looked at him. "Uhm, is Louis here?" "Who are you?", he asked. "I'm Cara. I'm his girlfrie-, ex-girlfriend I guess." "Oh." Suddenly Louis' Mum stood in the door with tears in her eyes. I looked at her. "What's wrong? Where's Louis?" She began to cry again. "What happened?", I asked confused. Then she looked at me and came closer. "Louis is..he is..", she began. "He's what?" No one anwered. I looked at Louis' Mum and then at the policeman. She looked me in the eyes. "He will never come back, Cara." I was shocked. "What? What do you mean with 'He will never come back' Did he move?" She shaked her head. "No, you don't understand. He's dead, Cara. He died this morning." "WHAT?! NO WAY. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.", I shouted, "I mean how? When?" "He died in an car accident this moring. He was on his way to you.", the policeman said. 'I couldn't believe it. Louis couldn't be dead. A life without him?! No. I cannot live without him.' I shaked my head. "No... no. He can't be dead. No, he just can't. I..I lo-ove him." I started crying. Louis' Mum looked at me and hugged me. "I'm sorry. He loved you too. He really did. He said he cannot live without you so he wanted to talk to you personally. He wanted to explain everything. He wasn't angry at all that you broke up with him. And he knew that you loved him too." I shaked my head again. "No.. this can't be true. it just can't. No no no.'' This was too much for me. I cried. ''I'm sorry, I can't..." I said as I ran away. I just wanted to be away from everything. I ran and ran and ran till I stood infront of my house. A packet was lying on my doorstep. I looked at it confused. From who was it? I took it and there was written something: 'For my beautiful Cara. From Louis.' I walked into the house. I sat down on the couch and opened it. It was a CD and there was a letter:
Dear Cara,
Here's my present for you to your birthday. I recorded 2 songs, just for you. It took longer than it should have, that's the reason I couldn't gave it to you on your birthday. It wasn't ready yet. I really hope you love the songs. I'm sorry that I didn't said anything on that day, I didn't know how to tell you that your birthday present wasn't ready and I also kno that I wasn't that nice to the days before your birthday. I'm sorry for that. I wanted to take you to a candlelight dinner and everything. Please forgive me, Cara. I love you and I hope that you still love me.
Oh and btw, Happy Related Birthday.
Love you,
Louis
I started crying again and looked at the CD, I stood up and put it in the CD-Recorder. There were two songs on it one called 'Moments' and one called 'Little Things'. I couldn't stop crying. Then I looked to a picture of you and Louis, which was standing on the table. I took it and said: "Ofc I love you Louis, I always will. I love you more than anything in the world. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. I don't know if I can take that all, please come back to me. Please, I just..." I broke down to the floor.
♥
