Loving Hard (COMPLETED)

Do you still love me?

Scarlett
I avoid newspapers and entertainment shows. I don't want to see him and his wedding plans. It hurts enough to know he's engaged. I make my way to Starbucks. Like many times before I am meeting Ian there. Ever since he moved to the further side of town I don't get to see him much.

"So how have you been?" Ian asks after we get our drinks.

"Good, the twins have missed you though," Ian visited me many times when the twins were much smaller. They like him.

"Can I go see them tomorrow? I'll be on this side of town for a few days."

"Of course. They'll be happy to see you."

"Okay. Don't tell them I want to surprise them. Are you really doing good Scarlett?" I know he had seen the thing about Jase that's why he's asking.

"Yes, my kids are good. That's all that matters."

"You know I have learned to care and love you like my sister Scarlett. What happened between us before that is in the past. So that's why I know you are not doing okay. You're an awesome mom to those kids but they need a father. I couldn't be that person in your life and I understood eventually I would only be a friend but if Jase wasn't the one then there is someone out there for you."

"I know but I just don't know anymore. I don't know how to move on.. "

"What if you began with not ignoring all the guys that try to flirt with you?"

"No one flirts with me," I claim.

"You're crazy if you think that, I bet that guy over there wonders why I am sitting across from you and not beside you touching you," I look at the guy he's looking at. His eyes meet mines and his cheeks blush pink. I smile and look back at Ian.

"He's probably married," I say taking a sip of my latte.

"Probably," Ian says laughing.

***

Ian shows up early today. He's taking the kids and me to the mall. I tell him it's a bad idea from the beginning since Kyle and Vi always find something to buy.

"Y'all want some ice cream?" Ian asks them. They do a happy dance and say yes.

Ian is the closest thing the kids have to a dad. He loves them. I could have said Ian was their father like Ian had proposed but part of me couldn't betray Jase like that, even if he had walked away.

"You shouldn't buy them so much," I tell Ian as the kids eat their ice cream.

"I prefer to waste my money on this beautiful twins then on something useless," he pinches Kyle's cheek and Kyle gives him a big grin. I laugh at how ridiculous he looks.

"Daddy! Mommy it's Daddy!" Vi screams. I turn around and see her spread her arms and hug... Jase.

My whole body freezes.

Jase
Nothing is worse then seen her with Ian and her kids laughing. Two kids.

The little girl screams daddy and comes to me for a hug. Why is she calling me daddy? I look at Scarlett but she's as stunned as I am.

"Daddy!" the little boy says now hugging me just like the little girl. I bend down and look at them. They look so much like their mom. Same eyes and hair color, they're twins.

"Kids please sit down and finish your ice cream," Ian says finally grabbing the kids and taking them back to the table. They sit down and eat their ice cream as they keep looking at me and smiling.

"Scarlett I think you should talk to him. Alone," Ian says looking at Scarlett and grabbing her hand. After years and it still hurt as much to see someone else touch her. She blinks and nods her head. "You can go somewhere else, I'll take the kids home don't worry."

"Okay, I'll see you guys at home okay," she says kissing the twins goodbye.

"But mommy I wanna go with daddy," the little girl says pointing at me. Why does she keep calling me daddy? I want Scarlett to explain this to me but she looks in the verge of breaking down. I need to do something.

"I'll come later and we can hang out okay?" I say moving towards the kids and hugging them goodbye. They nod and I follow after Scarlett. She doesn't speak until we are outside of the mall.

"Before you say anything I want you to know they don't know you left, they think you're off saving the world," she explains. Like old times when I see tears on her eyes my heart aches for her.

"They're your kids Jase. I didn't want to lie to them about who their real father is even if you walked away from us. I tell them about you all the time but I don't know what to say anymore when they see you on TV and not home with us. What I am I suppose to say Jase?" I take a seat on a bench and put my hands on my face.

They're your kids Jase.

It repeats over and over.

They are my kids.

"You can either finally become part of their life or walk away again and not come back ever. I'll just have to tell them you di-" I interrupt her before she can say more.

They're my kids.

"I am not fucking leaving again. Ever. They're my kids. Mine," I say it more to myself then her. I get up and look her in the eyes, "When I saw you at the restaurant I saw your stomach and you told me you were pregnant. I thought it was Ians. You never came to visit me at the hospital Scarlett. Then I saw the picture of you and Ian. What did you want me to think?"

"What picture? And I did Jase. I tried to find you for months but your dad left no trace of what hospital he took you too. You left me, not the other way around," she turns and is about to walk away but I grab her arm. My dad couldn't have caused all of this.

"Scarlett, what do you mean?" I want her to reassure me that I have heard wrong.

"I am not good enough for you Jase, I wasn't then nor am I now. It's okay I have learned to accept it. You can see your kids whenever you want, that's the only way we are connected," she removes my hand from her arm and walks away.

My dad had done all these. I had lost 2 years of seen my kids grow up because of my own damn father's selfishness.

I go after Scarlett and hop into her passenger sit. I can't let her go. I had walked away once but not anymore. Not now that I know the truth.

"I didn't know. He showed me a picture of you and Ian and he looked happy while he hugged you holding a boutique of red roses. I figured you would be hap-"

"He was congratulating me because I was having your kids Jase. Ian has been nothing but a great friend. He knows who I love and accepts it."

"Do you still love me Scarlett?"

"Get out, please just go!" she shouts. I open the door and walk out. If it wasn't for the tears in her eyes I wouldn't have walked away. I know she needs space and time.

"Tell my kids I will go spend all day with them tomorrow," is the last thing I say before I get out of her car. I don't want to leave her, it hurts to see her so broken. It hurts more to know it's my fault.