Women and the Fifty Shades of Grey

You would have to have been living under a rock for the past year to not have heard of the cultural phenomenom that is fifty shades of grey. The story follows a young virginial girl, who seeks thrills and torture from her dark and twisted love interest, Mr Grey, whose wild and sodomistic fantasy's fill the majority of "narrative". In all honesty, I think the social reaction to this book, is very sad, I think it shows how desperately women crave sexual attention and arousal, and who could blame them in a world where seemingly everything sexual is aimed to excite men. It is a sad reality that as a society we dont accept the fact that women like men have sexual urges, and needs, and up until recently it has been taboo for women to express that fact. 

I can't say I didnt see this coming, the signs have been around for a long time. For instance, take the Twilight Saga and the cult following it now has, what made twilight so different from other teen movie adaptations ? In my opinion it was the ongoing sexual tension, the ongoing darkness, and mystery about the the coldblooded- hero, Edward Cullen, not to mention his portrayal by the ever steely Robert Pattinson. Those of you who know a bit more about fifty shades of grey, will know that it was originally a fan-fiction based on the twilight saga and isnt it funny, that a book aimed at teenage girls, was so easily manipulated and regurgitated as a piece of adult literature ?

Truth be told, Fifty Shades of Grey is really a naive work, it is badly written and badly structured, but the sexual frustation of women around the world is such, that it doesnt even matter that the book sounds like it was written as part of class assignment on the use of metaphors, because it contains real, explicit sex. E.L James herself, probably didnt expect the attention or acclaim the book has recieved, she wrote it for fun, it was a way of expressing her own fantasies, and the large following she has accumulated shows there are millions of women out there who share those same fantasies. 

Women are crying out for sexual attention, I recently did some research and found out that a shocking percentage of women had never reached climax, EVER. I don't just mean women in their twenties, but women in their thirties, forties, fifties ! There are people out there, who have been faking orgasms their entire lives, and thats sad. The book perhaps gives women something to fantasise about, some material that will actually arouse them because if you look at the porn market, you will quickly see that it is majoritly aimed at men. "Busty Babe gets her back door knocked in my Pizza Guy" or "MILF gets pounded my her sons best friend" seem to be the sort of trends when you first look on a porn site, not to say that this wont arouse some women (because women, like men can be aroused by a large variety of different images etc), but it is mainly aimed at  doing it for men, the camera angles, point of view, the way the woman looks, or is dressed etc. Maybe this is to do with the assumption that "Women don't watch porn", which is as ridiculous as saying "women don't have sexual urges", in my opinion, due the partriarchal paradigm that runs through global society, women have through time been pressured and humbled into acting pure and virginial, any women who doesnt, is seemingly brandished a whore or a slag, or simply odd.  There are girls, and women I know, who would have vehemently denied ever watching porn, or masturbating who have sat and read not just one, but all three of the fifty shades of grey books- that is saying something. 

I question, why this book in particular, what is it about this book that has demanded such an overwhelming response from society ? There have been erotica's out there for ages, since the 1800's with books such as "Diary of a Woman of Pleasure" and "Lady Chatterly's lover" so why have I never heard anyone speaking about those, especially when they are so better written ? Then it came to me, after watching a show on a similar topic. The ebook, the power and confidentiality of things such as the Kindle, because no one knows what your reading, and aswell as that you can search the web for genres, without anyone watching you awkwardly fiddle with the small selection of blurred back adult books in Waterstones. And Ebooks take it even futher, with the ability to set up little communities, and to like and share all your favourite books, so you feel like your not alone whilst your getting wet over Anastacia's latest explorations. Bizarelly, I have even seen this book in a school library, and I can't quite distinguish what makes it anymore appropriate for secondary schoolers than any other unknown adult book. I've seen fifteen years olds huddled together reading  a book between them, hands over mouth, laughing and giggling reading it. It really was a sight.

Unsurprisingly the book has done wonders for the sex toy industry with sales booming, butt plugs, whips, vibrators,  handcuffs are no longer just things for porn stars, they are in everyday use, and its becoming ok to talk about it, the taboo is slowly ebbing away.

Whilst I am not really a fan of the book, because of how badly written it is, I am happy that it has finally brought about a change in the attitudes surrounding women and their sexuality. I think the fact that women had sexual urges was one of societies best kept secrets, and this book for what ever reason, has demanded the truth be known. I feel like men now, can actually see that yes, Women do like sex, yes they do have their own fantasies, and no they are not just a sexual object.  After all the clitoris has no other function other than sexual pleasure ! Even men are reading the book, some for pleasure, because it tells an actual story (as unrealistic as it may be), it transports people to a world of sexual freedom and exploration, where the participants in sex are people, characters, with feelings, hobbies, interests, and a past- perhaps in  some ways with traits that many people can relate to, rather than just badly trained actors screaming "oh baby ye ye ye".

Though I wouldnt go as far to call this piece of "literature" Women Lib, I would hope that women never cower again behind the archaic stereotype that society has put on them, and I equally hope that men never again degrade or dismiss a womens libido by refusing to accept that women have sexual needs aswell. Women and people in general should be comfortable with their sexuality and accept their own sexual identity, whether you are hypersexual or not ! Please do not think I am saying that all women like sex, and have sexual fantasies about being whipped and beaten, but many women do have fantasies of some sort, and where appropriate they should be able to express those feelings without fear of being called a whore, or a slag etc. Relish in your sexuality, love yourself, love others,and just enjoy one of the best drug free highs you could ever experience without feeling guilty !