Duchess of Winter

The Summer Rendezvous

The Duke had left that very night without a word to her. She could not blame him if she had angered him so.  Only a letter from him found on her desk that morning. Agatha wanted to apologize so greatly. But pride got the better of her as she lay there on her bed, sleep was avoiding her.

She could hear him go about to and from their  private parlor to his chambers that night. And had even heard him giving instructions to the butler and his footman. He had not even peeped to say good night as usual of him. Who could blame him? After all what she had done? She did not meant to hurt him. But she panicked. She was not sure of what affection she had for him. As she had never felt them before. For  he  was slowly melting away all the defenses she had built to protect her of him.

She hated herself for becoming jealous of Agnes. After all she loved her dearly. Would she forgive her?

Her Grand Papa had always told her that Wintersby was hers and only hers. He promised to make sure of that. But alas. Grand Papa had not much power than the monarch nor the peers who would make it theirs live's work to extinguish the Ducal of Wintersby if it does not comply with the standards of proper nobility. If only she was born male perhaps. If only her father had not been selfish and did not abandoned his duty as heir. Then she would not be force to fore go her own dreams she has for her own self. If only Jean du Var had not been to consumed on doing the proper thing and eloped with her instead. But  did she love him? She respected and trusted him and was fond of him but  was that enough? Or would had that been another entrapment in the making? She would not be force to hide a pretentious mask.

No she still does not know what Love was. Now confused more than ever. That the man chosen to beonly  instrumental for her hold to the duchy was making her feel things she never felt before. She knew what was expected of her from the moment her Papa told her the reason why she could not accept Jean du Var's proposal. He reminded her of the young man at Wintersby Manor years before. The one who came to Grand Papa's funeral. The one who had catch ed her when she accidentally stepped on a broken tree branch and nearly plummeted to ground had he not been there to catch her. The young man with brown hair and the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. Yes how can she forget? But as a child was prone to not take give importance to the meeting. She had forgotten all about him.

Papa had told her that alas she was arranged to marry him upon her forth coming natal day. As he was chosen to be co heir to her claim to the duchy. And that his sole duty was that they beget an heir from the union, as not to have the Monarchy abolish their title and the benefits it gave their family.

He had told her that she should be grateful that he took upon him the greatest of obligations. As it was known fact that he and his family had not cared for such extravaganza as a dukedom. And that she should do what is expected of a wife and his duchess.  She was so  angered by this revelation.

How could Grand Papa been wrong? He told her she was Duchess. And that she could do what ever she wished for with it and her to take hold of her own destiny. She had promised Grand Papa that she would make him proud of her. Now she owes what is rightfully hers to this man? And be subject to him? She had no liking to any romantic notions of love ever since. She was raised to even surpased her own father as heir apparent to the coronet. She was told that she was better as any male heir. She was told to be brave. She was told to be strong. She was told never to trust the beating of her own heart. As it was weakness to do so.

She thought that Ernest would be easily be manipulated to her perfect plan. She thought that she would not be weak like what is expected of  a mere girl. 

Then why does she weep now?

 Agatha buried her face on her pillow and tried hard not to be heard as she sobbed her heart  out.