Time can do nothing but pass

Untitled Part 2

Olly gazes up at the blue sky above him, if he was being fancy he would call it something like cobalt or cornflower, something summer sounding like it rolled right off the sun. But no it is just blue. And there are clouds rolling across it slowly, much to Louie's amusement. The two had been lying on the grass for the past ten minutes pointing out the various shapes to each other.

Louis had just spotted one that was shaped like a bum and of course to a two year old this was just about the funniest thing to ever happen.

'Bum' he giggles, a little mirth sound that made Olly's heart leap 'bum'

'Bum' Olly replies, putting on a comical voice which makes Louis giggle even more.

He spots one then that looked like a shoe, a tiny shoe. It drifts past above and Olly thinks how the clouds never stayed still, how they were always moving, parting to reveal sunlight or gathering together to bring storm or rain. Like life often did, piling it all on at once or not being certain at which direction or mood to pick.

'Hello my favourite boys' Vicky Lynn says as she sits down, not showing her age, crossed legged on the grass beside them.

Olly smiles at her upside down, Louie still in fits of giggles, before sitting up.

'You alright Mum?'

'I'm all good, you?'

'All good too, was just musing about clouds'

'As you do'

'As you do'

'They never do stay still'

'Well nothing does Oliver, time can do nothing but pass'

The casual comment catches Olly in the solar plexus, as if this is a new realisation that time did nothing but pass. He looks to the sky to try and find the shoe again but it had evaporated, the funny shape lost into space and time now. It had passed.

'You ok Olly?' his mum says, looking at him concerned.

'Yeah' he says, shaking his head to rid of the overwhelming sensation of having no control over anything, as if that would cure it, a shake of the head and boom nerves and mind slotted right back into place.

'I'm fine'

'Ok' Vicky Lynn says smiling, leaning over to ruffle Louie's hair 'bum'

'Bum' Louie laughs

'Yeah' Olly says 'bum'

——-

The ceiling is nowhere near as exciting as the clouds, or as life affirming. It is just white, not even snow or chalk. Just white, boring, blank slate white. Of course he can barely see the white given that it was the middle of the night. It is black, telling him he should sleep, he should definitely sleep. If only he could sleep. Yet more time was being snatched from him.

He grabs his phone, charging on the bedside table and checks the time. 2.34 am. He wonders if it is too late.

Is it too late? Yet now all he can think is that time was passing and every minute was another one where he is not with her.

Olly gets up, pulling on comfies, not really in the mood to drive in tight clothes in the middle of the night.

The street is eerily quiet as he walks to his car. He turns on the radio to abate the silence and keep him alert. It surprises him as he drives how short the journey to hers is and why he doesn't do it more often. He'd see her every day if he could, he misses seeing her every day.

There is no parking near hers and by the time he has found some and began walking to hers, this whole idea starts to dawn on him, visiting her in the middle of night. For what, a chat? To tell her that suddenly the prospect of time terrified him and he couldn't wait until an hour where the sun was in the sky to tell her?