Think Crazy

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Fuck it all.

Am I really in this place?!

Am I so hopeless?

such a disgrace?!!

So let's burn it all!

to hell with these endless lies

and painful acts and scenes

I'm done being 'Miss Perfect'!

I'm not some fucking robot, I had dreams!!!

smile?!? really?!! YOU WANT TO SEE ME SMILE?!?

WHY THE HELL SHOULD I?!!

give me one good reason!

Should I really even smile again?

when I smile

a real smile, it isn't for joy or relief

its when I can feel myself cracking, like a thin mirror

filled with my reflection

it feels so cold, and thrilling too

every time I crack I lose everything I feel

I feel crazy, but it feels so right

to be broken, and shattered

The pain just.....ends

for a short time...

but then it all comes crashing down again

as the parts stitch themseves back together, to be shattered

Again,

And Again

And Again!

Why do I repeat this endless cycle,

instead of stop the pain, along with time

so everything. can freeze?!

Why hold close the rules that bind me to this torture?

why do I still care? is this what I get.....

an endless suffering, even after I sacrifice my all

to just keep breathing? when this.....life.....isn't worth it?

When the air around me is too poisonous to breath?

No, maybe I should just start over-

wipe the slate clean

but I've done that countless times!

it never works, it always re-sets itself in new agonizing ways

Dreams hold my salvation,

But in the end......

All Dreamers Die

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