For a Song [#Wattys 2015]

Chapter 13

Hilly

All through the week after meeting Dylan Dorian, I was a girl possessed. Hunting through whatever I could find of Izzy's for some record, some handwriting sample that had snippets of the lyrics for For A Song. She used to write everything down, diaries and lyrics in her notebook but it had disappeared. And I don't even think that was down to Mum. I can remember wanting it after she died, right after, when her things were still around. Perhaps Izzy herself had destroyed what proof I needed.

I had her computer though. But it was password locked I soon discovered. No big deal though, right? That's why I thought. I was her sister after all- I knew Izzy better than anyone so surely I could guess her password. I started easy, with her date of birth, with mine and Ralph's date of birth. The name of her favorite author, the name of our first pet, her favorite singer- Joan Baez but it was no good. There were a thousand different combinations and the hint that showed up after my third failed effort 'cufflinks 75' was no help at all.

At least Phil came through for me. He'd drawn the line at printing the letter on his company letterheads, which is what I'd wanted to make it seem like I had a whole legal firm behind me, but he did lend his own name to it, with his qualifications listed. Never be surprised at how far guilt can go. But even with all of that, I still hesitated.

I don't know why.

Maybe it was because deep down I believed Boy Frankie was right. Posting the letter was going to be my declaration of war. And it was a war I was underprepared for, against forces that outnumbered mine. I knew the Earth Cafe incident had helped matters, so all I could do was pray it hadn't made matters worse. I hesitated through the school week, I hesitated at work. But on Sunday, when the song came on over the speakers in the clothing store I didn't hesitate any longer.

When my shift ended and we closed the shop, I called Boy Frankie immediately, letter in hand,"I'm going to post it. Right now. I thought you might want to come, christen the maiden voyage."

"No can do, I'm afraid Hilly," he told me through the speaker. "Going to the pictures and out to dinner with Girl Frankie."

Maybe it was better I did it alone. Or me and Izzy did it together, then I could head off to the movies with Boy and Girl Frankie and turn my brain off and not have to think about it for a while. It sounded like the perfect plan. "What are you going to see? That new film about the spies in the 60s? I really fancy that actually."

"I wish. Girl Frankie hates thrillers. She's roped me into some dumb romantic comedy. You know, the boy and girl hate eachother at first but then they start to fall in love and blah blah blah. Kill me now."

"Boo. But I'm sure we can talk her round. Two against one. Then Wrap Genie or Burrito Boys? I've been craving burritos since forever."

Frankie's breath hitched, "Actually. It was sort of going to be just the two of us. Like a date night."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"I mean I can ask," he said quickly, sounding like he really didn't want to.

"No that's fine," I insisted. In the kind of way that makes it seem like it really isn't fine- no matter how hard you try to convince anyone of anything to the contrary.

"Really?"

"Yeah I'm quite tired out after work anyway. I suppose I'll just see you on Monday at college?"

"Yeah Monday."

Being shut out wasn't exactly a new thing when your best friends were a couple. I didn't mind being the third wheel, honestly- I was a great third wheel, a third wheel extraordinaire who never complained, who could respect a couple's privacy. But that didn't mean I didn't get to feel slightly hurt about it, or slightly pissed off at Boy Frankie for blowing me off.