Miss Different and Mr. Perfect (IM5 Fanfic)

Giving up

Emily's POV

Beep! Beep! Beep! Bee- *slam.

I lazily pick my head off my pillow and look at my alarm clock:

8:30am

Uggghhh...I HATE mornings. You know what? Screw it. I didn't finish my theory homework anyway. Why would I bother going to class if my professor is just going to criticize me for not finishing the stupid assignment and call me "wretched"? I'm going back to sleep.

But I can't help but feel guilty. This isn't the first time I've convinced myself to not go to class; it's actually kInd of becoming a trend.

I hate myself for this; it's not who I am, but I can't make myself stop. Ever since my first failing grade in college last year, I've been giving up more and more. I'm trying to convince myself that none of it matters: my grades, my academic reputation, my relationship with my professors, all of it. But deep down inside I know checking my transcript at the end of the semester is going to severely disappoint me and I'll probably cry. My mom will probably cry too and then my dad will pull me out of school. I don't want that though....do I?

I don't know what I want anymore. I've been giving up my entire philosophy of life and I can't reverse it.

Dalton's POV

"Good God why does this bother me so much?"

"Dude, what's bothering you?" Cole asked.

"I don't know man, I just....I just thought I'd be over her by now, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know. And it wasn't like she broke it off very cleanly either. I mean, Ma-"

"Please, don't say her name. I'm not mentally stable enough for that yet."

"Dude, it's been 2 months."

"I know." I slumped down on the couch and groaned as I thrusted my face into a pillow. Cole came and sat down next to me.

"Hey" he said, "you'll be okay eventually though, you know that right? And I'm here if you need anything. I know how tough it was when I found out Cassidy was cheating on me. It wasn't easy to break it off, but I knew I couldn't take her back after she betrayed me like that. Same with you and...well, you know who. Eventually, you won't feel like you need her touch everyday, her voice won't ring in your ears anymore. You won't drive yourself crazy arguing with yourself whether or not you will drive yourself to her doorstep and take her back just to see her smile again; which by the way, don't do it because you'll hate yourself for it and you'll be miserable."

I tried to chuckle. "Hell, I can't feel any more miserable than I do now, can I?

"Dude, I'm serious. She will walk all over you. Women have a way of doing that when they know you can't say no."

"I know I know. I can't and won't ever take the bitch back. I'll let the pain kill me before I even consider it." 

And that's when it hit me.

I gotta write a song about this. The girl that's killing me was the only one who could save me until right now. Now, nothing and no one that I know of, can.

I'm giving up on love for good...and my life may be soon to follow if I can't relieve this tortuous pain in my chest.