Friends

Chapter 52

A/N: The Book is FINISHED! Read the entirety of it on my Patreon along with other exclusive content if you want to check those out!

Marc's POV:

I'm outside pacing the sidewalk in front of our apartment building, on FaceTime with Jaylin.

It's getting late, the street's mostly quiet except for the occasional car passing by, but my mind's loud. Too loud. I've been walking back and forth so much I'm sure the security cameras think I'm casing the place.

Jaylin's face fills the screen, calm as hell on his couch while I'm out here unraveling.

"Bro, she was stalking me."

Jaylin doesn't even blink. "Bro, we've all stalked somebody. You stalked Jasmine's Instagram, Facebook... Pretty sure if she had a Tumblr, you'd have found that, too. Hell, you probably beat your dick to her fucking Kendrick."

How does he know that? Wait, he doesn't. But nevertheless, it's not like I chose to be in proximity, I had no choice.

I roll my eyes. "I'm not talking online. I mean in person."

He freezes, then starts laughing. Hard.

"Get the fuck outta here."

"I'm being deadass, Jaylin. I'm talking outside of Maria's apartment. Hood up. Car in park. Staring through the window on some Joe Goldberg shit."

"Not the Joe Goldberg," he howls, nearly choking.

"Bro, this isn't funny. This is fucked up. I haven't done anything to deserve this. Nothing. If anything, I should be the one stalking her. She's the one who snuck out like a goddamn ninja to fuck Kendrick. She's completely broken my trust, but you don't see me going out here and stalking her. And to be honest, I already knew fucking Kendrick was going to happen but it's the sneaking. The lying."

Jaylin quiets for a beat. Then, flatly: "Maybe that's why Kendrick never took her seriously. Maybe he saw the crazy early on and dipped."

My chest tightens. "That's the thing—she didn't even do this with him."

Jaylin squints. "Word?"

"Word. She said she never stalked him. Never checked up on him. Said she didn't feel safe enough to even care like that. So she never really acted that crazy with him. But with me? She thinks I'm too good to be true so she's always expecting the other shoe to drop. She thinks I'm gonna mess up like he did. Or maybe, she's projecting! She's thinking that because she slipped up with her ex, I'm going to slip up with mine."

It's probably the latter now that I'm saying it out loud.

Jaylin sighs. "Cut her some slack, Marc. She's paranoid. She sees how twisted some of her patterns are and thinks you're gonna leave. So she's trying to control the situation to keep you."

"It's having the opposite effect. How hard is it to just talk to me?"

"It's hard when you're used to everyone lying to you."

I exhale sharply. "Then leave. If someone lies to you all the time, just leave."

Jaylin raises an eyebrow. "This coming from the same man who found out Jasmine lied about fucking Kendrick and asked her on a date?"

I rub a hand down my face.

God, I hate when he's right.

"Look, I get it. But there has to be a limit, Jaylin. A point where the trauma stops being an excuse for toxic behavior. I'm not trying to be tested every week just so she can prove to herself that I'm safe. That's not love. That's survival."

I signed up for this. I just didn't think it would be this much. Maybe this is a sign I'm maturing—that I'm getting better—because the old Marc would've never gotten tired of the toxicity. The old Marc would have thrived in this chaotic environment.

Jaylin nods, finally dropping the smirk. "I told you that you should just be fucking her or just be friends, Marc, but you signed up for this. I understand you don't just fuck and you care too much about her to be friends. But I also understand you don't date just to date. It means more to you."

"Exactly," I mutter. "I believe in building something real. Something lasting. I want marriage. Family. Peace. Not drama disguised as passion. I can't go through this forever. If this is how it is now, what the hell does ten years from now look like?"

Jaylin leans forward, voice calmer now. "And I hear you. I do. But bro... Jasmine isn't the same girl you met. She's been going to therapy. Actually trying. You remember how closed off she was in the beginning? How she thought Kendrick was her literal savior? How Kendrick literally couldn't do any wrong, and anyone who ever said anything bad about him was her enemy? How she couldn't even communicate? She would literally just shut down, get quiet, and just lie and say everything is fine. She's come a long way."

I stare at the floor, tension still wrapped around my chest.

"She has," I admit. "But we've still got a long way to go. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to carry both of us the whole way."

Jaylin nods again. "You don't have to carry her. Just walk beside her. And if she's willing to do the work, that might be enough."

I don't answer. Because I don't know if it is.