Sunburn

Prologue.

Liam's P.O.V

I've moved far away from you
And I want to see you here beside me, dear
But things aren't clear
When we never even tried
We never even talked
We never even thought in the long run
Whenever it was painful
Whenever I was away
I'd miss you
I miss you.

I couldn't stop my hands from shaking, almost making my handwriting unbearable.
All these feeling had built up inside me and the whole thing seemed to never end.

I finally gathered my thoughts and as my hand danced across the page in front of me I finally realized what I had been missing.

'It's ridiculous how much I have to tell you but to start I need to admit that I miss you. I miss you more than you could ever imagine and until you are back in my arms I could never stop myself from missing you and I don't think I want to. It's been so hard for me, all this time.

I've tried so hard to forget you, but everything I tried got me in a bigger mess than the one started after 'us'.

Though when I think about it... I never thought there would be an 'us'. I don't want you to regret anything and I'm not doing this to bring back the memories you never wanted to have. I'm doing this just because I can't hold things in anymore, because it hurts more than I've ever imagined.

When people talk about things like this, they find it easy. Though they say it's easy to just move on, especially if you find someone else. For me it didn't work, no matter how hard I tried. It was too late when I realized what I have actually done.

On my way trying to make myself happy, I've hurt so many people and that was never my purpose. I don't and never want to blame you for all the things I've done. I swear that my intentions never changed; just the ways of getting where I wanted did.

I saw in her what I used to see in you and that desolated me. I wanted to have her, to know she is mine, when actually I wanted to know that you were mine.

I tried to make myself believe that I needed her, that she was everything I wanted, when I just felt the need for you. It's hard for me to put my words onto a page, though every word makes my heart lose another piece. I've felt broken since that day, especially seeing you haven't spoken to me since. I have no idea if you found someone, if you still remember me, if you've felt what I felt all this time, if you still remember our first kiss...or if you simply still remember our little moments. Honestly I don't even know why I'm writing all this... maybe to tell you how much I've missed you or maybe just because things are getting out of hand.

You know, I never thought I'd end up like this: far from home, hurting all the people who's hopes I got up and being torn apart on the inside.

When I first met her, I thought I'll forget you immediately. I thought it might be my chance of moving on, my chance of getting something in return. But when I was looking at her, I was always seeing you. I could never move on as I assumed you have.

Remember how I was always there for you and how I always told you I'd be so happy that you'd be mine forever?

Because I remember everything like it was yesterday and my feelings are the same, except for some. I don't wanna beg for mercy, I just want you back. There you go, I said it. I tried everything and I still came back to you. I guess this is destiny but I find it funny somehow; in a sober way.