The Last Seventeen: (Book 1) An Apocalypse Story

Chapter 26: day six

Chapter 26: Day 6

It was impossible to sleep that night. You would think that after a day filled with shock, pain, and panic that sleep would be easy to obtain. I thought it would be like sleeping in the hole except colder but it was different. Way different. Every sound that was made in the darkness of night made me frightened and made me want to find the source of it before it found me in the dim rays of moonlight. Whatever it was out there. And the cold made everything that much worse. Chilling winds came now and again and would always hit their mark on my bare chest. They made me shiver and chatter my teeth for extensive periods of time, which made the sounds in the woods come more alive.
I looked over at Bryce and saw he was the same way I was. He was shaking from head to toe. Luckily, his shoulder seemed to have stopped bleeding or just slowed down to a slow occasional drip. His body, however, was stained with blood. I could tell from the way his chest and his stomach were blacker than the rest of him. He was breathing heavily through his chattering teeth. His head hung over his body looking directly at the ground. Occasionally, he would look up and into the woods, expecting Joanna to appear unscathed and free us. He would then look back at the ground and continue his pattern all over again.
"How's your shoulder?" I asked him. I didn't want to hear the sounds of the woods anymore. I didn't want to think of the things that lurked in them.
"Been better. It's a little sore." He didn't laugh. He didn't look up either. He just stared at the ground.
"Now I know what Chris must've felt." I chuckled to myself, hoping to lighten the mood, but I quieted myself when Bryce didn't join in.
"You know they thought he was dead, right?"
I tried to remember the scene but my memory wouldn't have it. A headache came when I tried to remember. I couldn't remember it. "You never told me that."
"Well, we did. Everyone was hysterical. They were shouting at you and they were crying over Chris. He was bleeding from his head and was bleeding horribly from his chest. The blood covered his shirt and he wasn't responding to anything we said to him. At one point, we even started to slap and shake him to see if he was still alive."
My heart sank like a rock. I didn't know how badly I hurt him. I almost killed him. He almost died because of me.
"I couldn't handle another death. I just couldn't. I didn't want to see another friend of mine get killed. I started to press on his chest, you know like CPR. I copied what I saw on TV. The whole time I yelled for him to come back to us. I thought you killed him, which made me proud that I took the shot. I was proud that I shot you." Bryce sniffed then continued. "Then, I felt him breathe again. He was just unconscious from the pain and the alcohol. He was okay once we stopped the bleeding and patched him up." Bryce looked up from the ground and looked at me. "The troupe kept calling you a monster. Are you?"
I stared out into the woods all the while feeling his gaze rest on me. I didn't want to say I was. I didn't want to admit that. But, was it true? I looked back at Bryce who never looked away. He wanted an honest answer.
"I don't know. To tell you the truth, I don't know what I am anymore. At first, I thought I was good. Now, I don't know whether I am good or bad or a hero or a villain. I've done good and bad things. I've saved Andy, I've saved Ansley, and I even gave up my pants to Joanna. But, I tried to kill Chris. Twice. I led you, Cassidy, and Darius into all this and I even cut dead bodies open for the psychos." I felt a hot tear go down my cheek. Despite the situation, it felt nice compared to the cold winds. "I've changed and I don't know if that's good or bad. I'm just trying to survive or at least let you guys live a little longer. So, I would say yes. I am a monster. Right now, I consider myself a monster. The bad things I have done outweigh the good things I tried to do. I don't want to be a monster though. I don't want to look at myself in a mirror and see something I don't want to see. I just want to be Ryan. I just want all this to go away, but I don't want to die a monster." It was a full tear-fest from me. I couldn't help myself. It just all came out of me. "I tried to kill myself, you know? I wanted everything to end, but in the end I didn't. And now, every day since then, I question if I should've done it. If I should've pulled the trigger and just gotten it all over with. Knowing what I've done, I probably should of."
I cried the hardest I have ever cried before. Dribbles of snot ran down my nose and mixed with my tears. I let my head hang over my body and let my tears soak the ground. I didn't even want to look at Bryce even though I would just see his dark shadow. I kept my head to the ground and let the tears flush out of me.
"You tried to kill yourself?" Bryce questioned me. I heard the shock in his voice.
"Yeah. Back at the bar." I said in between my sniffling and snorting. "So, I'm sorry that you're here because of me. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you and the others. I'm sorry."
Bryce took long moment of silence. At first, I thought he didn't hear me and I really didn't want to repeat myself. After a few minutes, he cleared his throat to speak.
"I don't think you're a monster. I think you've been put into a bad situation after bad situation and the choices you made weren't the best. We've all been in situations like that. If you're a monster, then maybe everyone else is. Maybe we're all monsters."
"You aren't. If anything, you're like the perfect soul in this whole thing. You haven't done anything wrong." I laughed through my tears. It was absurd that he hadn't done anything bad. Almost unthinkable, then again, it was Bryce.
"Hey, I'm not perfect. I mean, I'm near perfect, but not fully perfect." He laughed a genuine laugh.
It was nice to actually hear laughter again instead the constant sounds of crying and fear. We were actually talking like friends again. Joking and laughing about stupid things that didn't even matter instead of the real world. It was like the world where it was just us covered the real world around us. It was blissful having him around. It made things seem normal.
"I'm glad you still got a sense of humor." I joked with him then let out a big breath of air. "Man, I really wish I had my shirt on right now." I shivered when another wind hit me in the chest.
"Yeah, I guess he was right about the cold stinging." He also shivered. "I never thought I'd say it, but I'd rather be back in the building with the bodies. At least it was warmer there."
"Or back in the car."
"Yeah it was warmer for you. You basically had Natalie as a blanket." He laughed through his chattering teeth. "She was all over you." He took a second for his chills to get over him then continued on. "What do you think about her?"
"She's nice and cool sometimes-"
"You know what I mean. Even before all this you two were like all over each other. I couldn't figure it out."
He was right. Even before this whole ordeal happened, Natalie and I were close friends. Really close. So close that some people mistook our closeness as actual love. But that's the thing about us, were close. Too close. I've tried multiple times to picture us as something more than just friends, but it's just impossible. I hoped as the years went by, I would feel differently about it all, but nothing has happened. Not yet.
"I just don't know. It's like on and off feelings. Nothing serious."
"Oh, well she's into you, if you didn't already know that." He looked off awkwardly. This wasn't really his field of excellence.
"Yeah, I know."
And just like that, we were back to the silence of the woods. Hearing every noise that went through them like we were both sonars. Our heads moved on sync with the noises. We would look one way to where we thought the noise was and then the other way when the noise came from somewhere else. We were both tense. That's why we almost peed ourselves when a gunshot broke the seemingly impenetrable silence. A flash erupted back near the slaughterhouse then, as quickly as it came, it was gone and the woods went back to its uncomfortable cloak of darkness. Both Bryce and I stared at where the flash went off with unbreakable focus. I squinted to see if I could see anything.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something dash across the woods with amazing speed far away from me. I turned my head towards it but as soon as I did, it was gone again. I looked frantically around me for any clue to what it was.
"What is it?" Bryce asked. He must have seen the tension my body held.
"I saw something." My voice was panicky.
I heard the footsteps of people running towards us. I expected the worse. I expected it to be psychos pissed off and ready to kill us where we sat. Maybe they had finally lost it and were just executing everyone for fun. The footsteps got closer and I saw it was the two psychos who went off with Blue Eyes before. They stared us down, giving us a look of killing, and then sprinted past us.
"Man, I hope the leader hasn't killed them all yet." I heard one of the psychos say excitedly towards the other. "I knew he would crack sooner or later."
They left us in the dust. Once again, we were alone. I sighed in relief until I heard a branch snap near us. Bryce heard it to and we both scanned the area with frightful eyes. We heard something else and directed our eyes towards it. Whatever it was, it was getting closer by the second. I prayed in my mind that it was something helpful. A savior in the night who would take us from this place. An angel to release me from my bondage. I heard something break behind me. I tried to look behind but the tree blocked my vision. Please let it be something good.
"Keep quiet. They know I'm here but they don't know where I am." It was Andy. He came back for us.
"You came back?" Bryce asked before I could. I guess I was still in shock that he actually came back.
He didn't say anything, he just chopped through the ropes with something dull but sharp. It took him a minute, but he freed us from the ropes. We both got up to our feet and rubbed our wrists. Andy immediately put his hands on our shoulders and pulled us down to his crouching position.
"He wasn't lying about the sniper's nest." He said in a whisper. He looked around him making sure no one else was in earshot then turned back to us. "I don't know how the others are doing. I would guess they are still in their holes."
"I thought you weren't coming back." I said to him. I was still in awe over all this. "You said-"
"I know what I said. When I made it to the highway, I started to think of when you saved my life. I owed you. This is your payback. I owe you nothing after this." He talked in his not caring attitude. I couldn't help but think that his tone was just a cover up. Maybe he actually did care.
"What about the others?" Bryce asked him as he threw the ropes around his wrists to the ground.
Andy just crouched there, unsure of what needed to be done next. "Sure." He said.
He pointed towards where the slaughterhouse was and when he did, the rays from the moon reflected of his hand. It was covered in dark blood and I had a feeling that it wasn't his.
"We'll get them out and head towards the highway. We'll have to be quiet so you guys-"
"Wait, what about Joanna? That psycho took her to a house somewhere in the woods." Bryce explained while his hands trembled at the thought. Andy nodded his head but still tried to move forward. "What are you doing? Did you hear what I just said?"
"I did, but I don't know her condition. She could be dead by now. I've seen the others and I know they are alive. We have to get everyone else out. They are more important than her." Andy tried to sound unemotionally but I could hear his voice tighten up.
Bryce looked down at the ground in defeat. He wanted to save her, but he'd rather save everyone else. I looked out into the woods. She was out there because of me. If I just came clean in the first place, she wouldn't be out there with that maniac. I couldn't just leave her behind.
"I'll go after her." I said before my own fearful mind could stop me.
Andy just looked at me with a serious glare. He looked me up and down, making sure I wasn't making a mistake.
"We need to stick together." Andy said as another shot rang out near the slaughterhouse. I was just as frightened. Did someone get shot? He shook his head and shoved the object he cut our ropes with into my hands. It looked and felt like a meat cleaver. "Fine, go and head towards the highway if you find her. We'll get everyone else."
I nodded my head and Andy did the same. Bryce just stood there, shocked and afraid of what I just suggested. He wanted to say something but Andy motioned for him to follow. Bryce just nodded his head, not wanting to sound scared with his words. They stealthily snuck through the woods and left me in the woods alone.
I had my objective. I knew where Blue Eyes took her. I knew it was up to me to save her. I looked up towards the dark clouds, trying to gain some courage.
"This will even out the scales." I said to the silence that surrounded me.
I looked down at the cleaver then back at the woods. I took a deep breath, prayed that it wouldn't be my last, and then sprinted through the woods for Joanna and my redemption.