Ok so I know I normally don't ever talk that much in these but I need to rant somewhere and this seemed like the best place, now you don't have to read this at all. I know that most people won't but I'm going to write this anyways.
Let's begin, so I have a mild case of depression and up until a few months ago I was able to push through it pretty well but in February my best friend just stopped talking to me she blocked me on every site we were apart of and changed her number, and that messed with me a lot because I can't really be left to my own thoughts without being attacked by my own mind and she helped me a lot with what I was/am scared to tell my boyfriend about (mostly my self image or when I self harm) so without her to help me through those times I started falling back into depression. I do have medicine to help it's just the fact that I can't seem to get into a routine of taking said medication and I haven't told my councilor about it. One of my problems is also my family who don't seem to understand what I'm going through there are days where the depression and all the voices in my head take over and on those days I can't really do anything but when I tell my family about it their responses are mostly "well then don't think like that" or "why don't you try to tell those voices no?" And when I tell them that I'm trying but nothing seems to work all they reply with is "you're just not trying hard enough" I get that they're trying to help but when I tell them these things or I tell them that I can't do anything that day because my mind won't let me but they still make my work for 12 hours while they yell and rant at me about how tired they are without even considering how much physical and mental pain I'm going through (we were building a porch and I'm an overweight gamer/ artist(?)) it just kinda gets to me.
I'm sorry for wasting your time for those who just read my rant but I needed to get that out of my system.
~DoomedVulpini~
