Hi, I’m Joanne.
15 years old.
I am here in a small town in the Philippines, well just for the summer.
I live and go to school in the city. Whenever there is a long vacation I come home in this rural town to Visit my grandmother.
She is really old now, living in a big house along with her caretakers and gardeners.
We are not rich, just simple living (if that’s what they call it).
I lost my grandfather two years ago; he was a soldier then got sick. I was really close to him, we would go to our farm then enjoy the fresh air, sit along the grass then just laugh whole day, sometimes we would go to the beach and watch sunset.
My mother and father are entrepreneurs; I love them so much because they give me all I need, in school or my passion for dancing.
Before my grandfather died, my life was just simple.
I wake up early, go to school, play, and dance and pretend to be a good child.
But when my grandfather died, I transferred to this rural area.
I became so popular in school because I was different from the others.
Some say I was pretty and some said I was overweight.
Well, it’s all just nothing to me. I live my life the way I want to.
In school there are cool kids (where I almost lead), smart/ nerds, athletes etc. etc. etc.
but there’s this boy in our batch, he was cute, attractive. But that boy belonged to the lowest section.
so ill just wait every P.E. period where all our batch comes together in the gym.
I was a leader of our group for 2 years, and that boy was in my group…
we became friends, I often look at him and I know he looks at me too.
But, I know he has a girlfriend, which I don’t really care about.
He would hold my hand sometimes and smile at me, it’s ordinary to me as time grew.
I transferred to the city after those two years.
But I come to visit every time I want.
I became wild in the city; enjoying my single and stress free life.
One day, I came back home to my grandmother it was summer.
I brought all I need, laptop, phone and the cool outfits. Because I know that I’ll meet unknown.
He messaged me on facebook : “hey, gusto mo magkita tayo ? Text ka lang heto number ko 09*********
“(hey, we should meet, you like? Just text me; here’s my number 09*********) “
I was so excited…
I really wanted to have him, I would do everything…
the day came
I went to his house, I brought beers and alcoholic stuff.
He’s house was near the beach, so I weared my sexy outfit and ray ban.
In our place, wearing those stuff, was pretty over dressed.
But I had to wear those so he would think I was cool.
That day, we got the point that I was so drunk.
My head was spinning.
I remember all those things that happened that day.
And I also remembered that I had no control of myself.
Unknown: ui! Baka sabihin mo linalasing kita ha…
(hey, look at what you’re drinking. Maybe you’ll say that I am unfair in this)
me: oo, alam ko na di mo ako linalasing…
(I know !! shut up, I know what I’m doing)
unknown: basta pag nalasing ka, wag ka mag wild ditto ahhh .. wag ka rin magsuka. Hahaha
(don’t even think about being wild in my house and don’t vomit on me! That’s the rules…
(we both loughed and continued drinking)
I continued drinking, till I crashed on the floor where we drank.
I don’t even know why we drink alone that day, but I know I was so happy, that I was with unknown.
me: pahiga muna ahh!
(let me lay down for a while)
unknown: hoy! Wag mo ako tulugan ! hahaha(hey, don’t sleep!!)
me: tama na!! di ko na kaya… lasing na ako… hahaha
unknown: bahala ka tabihan kita jan. hahahahaha
he laid beside me, we talked about the things I was into when I was in the city and we ended up talking about what we we’re doing before on P.E. period and how fun we end up in practices.
I held his hand, trying to feel how lucky I was with him.
trying to get his attention, I’d talk, talk, and talk while laughing…
After minutes passed, I tried to calm myself.
I looked at him; he was like sleeping…
so I closed my eyes, to understand what I really feel for him.
I heard my heart beat very hard like drums and my mind said you’re ready; open your eyes now.
I opened my eyes.
He’s face was really close to mine, he was smiling, I sensed his smell was like something I never smelled before.
His eyes were like stars at night.
His lips were red as blood.
I closed my eyes once more.
All our memories came flashing back.
the first time he got my attention was when I got angry while we we’re practicing because he wasn’t listening at all it was also the first time I said his name out loud,
The first smile I got from him,
the first holding hands, and talk.
I even remembered the first secret I shared to him.
We we’re just friends. But he knew all about me
I trust him with all my heart.
I have feelings for him, feeling I can’t explain.
After what I realized that moment, I was shocked.
I felt his lips on mine, a tender I’ve been waiting for a long time.
The kiss was slow and easy.
The first I enjoyed a kiss in my life.
He touched my face then I opened my eyes.
I saw he was closing his eyes while kissing me.
I don’t know why, but I pushed him away.
me: please wag. Lasing ka lang eh.
(please don’t, you’re just drank)
unknown: hindi (no)
me: (trying to push him)
wag mo naman ako gamitin.. (Don’t use me)
unknown: type kita eh. (I like you)
after what I heard unknown said.
I allowed him to kiss me again, then I stayed motionless before him.
I was trying to feel what he really felt for me, but I felt nothing.
he was like a stone.
