2 am | L.H

day 1

Forgive me. 

I have done wrong.

What I did wrong was give a shit about you.

It's not your fault.

You had no idea you were simultaneously pushing me away as I cuddled next to you.

You had no idea that the words you didn't say were the cause of my deepest wounds.

Loving you was like watching someone drown with my hands tied behind my back and no matter how hard I tried to save you, how far I ran to find you, or how deep I dreamed of us, It didn't end up mattering. 

You found the heaviest door you could and shut it in my face. No, you didn't slam it. What you did was worse.

You allowed the door to slowly creak and shut, with only a soft click to signify the end.

And thats how my world collapsed. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

---

This is my world, my little snow globe of routine and habit. Most people live, I survive. I'm an empty vessel with a checklist. 

No feelings? Check.

No friends? Well, no real ones anyways. Check.

No family? Check.

A decent job? Check.

A mask? A mental one counts doesn't it? Check.

My everyday usually goes like this: I wake up, pretend, and go back to bed. 

However, I have a task to complete in these few next days. My boss gave me a list of people to interview. There's some names I've heard, and other I haven't. Our company focus is on "bands and their members", or in journalism also known as "band members, and dirty secrets you manage to pull from them".

I pull out the slip of paper from my sleek dark briefcase. I presume this has the members I'm suppose to interview on it. Interns always get the dirty work and never any credit. I unfold the dog-ear on the list before sitting in my desk chair and smoothing the paper down in front of me.

The list is as follows;

Hayley Williams

Jack Barakat

Chris Simpson (note, not sure why he's on here)

Brian Swindle (applies with note above)

Jeremy McKinnon

Alex Gaskarth

Calum hood (more like, calum whoo?)

Nick Santino

Kellin Quinn

Harry Styles (why is this kid on here. I realize he's a couple years older than me but a butterfly tattoo? Really?)

Billie Joe Armstrong

Luke Hemmings (Havent heard of this one either)

I have some work ahead of me to get through this list. Erica, (my boss) never did say I had to go in order though. 

Tomorrow I'll pick a random one and go from there. I'll try my hardest to look like I give a crap about these people. My plan is to go in and out, get the quotes and answers I need, and head back to Erica. 

Hopefully none of these boys will give me any complications.