Phoenix ("Behind the Mask" Sequel)

Part 4 - Keeping Secrets

"I don't know what to do anymore, doc. I'm trying hard to get better, but I don't see any progress on me!" I sigh, facing the seiling of the room, as I lay on the couch. During the past half hour, the only sound I listen to, besides my voice, is the noise of Mr. Hughes' pen against his notebook, writing down everything I said.

That's the reason why I quit therapy in the past.

"It's important for you to keep going with the treatment, Ana. You are progressing, believe me..." he said blankly, taking off his glasses.

"I just... Forget it!" I sighed, getting up from the couch, looking at my watch. "I think our session is over."

"Okay. See you next week, Ana," he greeted me, as he followed me to the door.

I walk on the streets, as I try to figure out what to do. It has been two months since I met Yuzu again, and a month that I moved with Patrick to Colorado Springs, and started the treatment with this therapist he recommended. I'm only doing this because PChiddy knows how to be annoying and get you to do whatever he wants.

What's the point of me being here?

I get into the bus, and I pick up my phone, as it vibrates with one more message.

"Patrick: Are you coming home, sweetie?"

"Me: Yeah, I'm on the bus. See you in 20 minutes :)"

"Patrick: How was the appointment like?"

I hesitate before answering.

"Me: It was good. Tell ya more when I arrive."

I put my phone on my bag again, and it is still vibrating from time to time - maybe more of Patrick's messages, asking me the same things, over and over again.

This is so annoying. Fow how long will I have to deal with this?

Since the phone can't stop ringing, with lots of messages, I decide to check it out again. But, for my surprise, they weren't only from Patrick.

"Yuzu: Hi, Ana-chan! Sorry if I'm disturbing you, but I just want to tell you that I was accepted at Waseda. :)"

Oh Yuzu... from time to time, I receive a text from him. He even called me two or three times after that incident in Detroit... But I didn't have the courage to pick up his calls.

Should I answer him now? Maybe...

"Me: Yuzu, that is so great! I knew you could do it. Congratulations! :)"

"Yuzu: You're the first person I'm telling this. Not even my mom knows it yet... I'm glad you're happy for me. It gives me some hope..."

"Don't do this to me, Yuzu..." I mumbled, as I text him again. When is he going to give up?

"Me: Yuzu, I want you to succeed, but I'm with Patrick now. Please, don't text me anymore, and good luck at college. Korekaramo ganbatte!"

Why does he do this with me? I want to get rid of Yuzu, I want him to move on, but he seems to be resolute.

"Yuzu: Sorry again... But I can't deny that I still think about you. Take care, Ana-chan."

I put my phone back on my bag, and I leave the bus. A few more steps, and I'm at Patrick's building.

He opens the door of his apartment, with a grin plastered on his face.

"Oh sweetie... Finally you're home!" he says, kissing me. "I sent you some messages, did you not see them?"

"Sorry, Patrick... I just put my phone on the bag and didn't check it out..." I lied, looking at the counter, at the kitchen. "Pizza? Are you not supposed to eat only healthy food?"

"Yeah, but today I bought this because of you..." he answered, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me again.

Oh no...

I gently pulled him off me, smiling shyly.

"Sorry, but I'm really hungry... let's eat?"

He wasn't very happy with the interruption, but tried to smile forcefully, grabbing my hand and bringing me to the counter. I open the box, taking a slice of the pepperoni pizza, eating it eagerly.

"Hungry after the appointment, sweetheart?" he asked, while eating as well.

"I'm always hungry, but yeah, the meeting was boring as hell, and I get even more hungry when I'm bored..."

"Don't say that, honey... Try to take the best of this oportunity. It's going to be good for you!" Patrick replied, in a tone of concern, but not in the same way as Yuzu's. For some reason, that I can't precise what it is, I can't believe in him.

"You know what?" I paused. "I'm going to quit therapy."

"What? Are you crazy?" his voice raised. "You're not going to stop the treatment! I won't let you do this!"

"You're not my dad, you can't say what I'm going to do!" I looked at him straight on the eyes.

"You are not going to stop the treatment, Ana. I mean it," he glared back.

We're not going anywhere with this.

"Whatever... Look, let's change the subject, right? I'm not in the mood for arguing. Again..."

He tilted his head, smiling. Like he has convinced me one more time.

"Ana, I got some flyers from colleges here on US... You know, for you to choose what major are you going to do, honey?"

"Patrick..." I looked down.

"But you promised you'd fill up your schedule with something! What's the better way of doing this than studying? You can go back to Linguistics, or you can do something related to sports, now that you had an experience as a professional athlete..."

"Had?" I repeated his emphasis, surprised of how he always treat me like this... Like an retired athlete. "Do you think I quit skating for good?"

"No, honey, it's not that..." he shook his head, coming close to me. "I know you're just giving a break. I'm just helping you to focus on other things from now on..."

"I see, but..." I hesitated. "What if I don't want to move on now?"

"What do you mean?" his face was now serious.

"What if... I want to come back? With skating? Would you support me as well?"

"NO!" his answer was sudden. Seeing how surprised I was because of it, he softened his expression. "I mean, of course I'll support you... I just don't want you to pressure yourself, just because your country will probably choose you to represent it in Sochi, you know... Olympics are the big deal, you shouldn't go there because of other people..."

"I'm not saying that I'm going to Sochi, Patrick..." I pointed out. "I'm just talking about a possibility. Only that."

He looked away.

"Patrick... sometimes, I think that you don't want me skating again..." I raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I want you to come back! Don't say that!" he cupped my face with his hands. "Just give yourself some more time, okay? It will be better for you..."

He planted a small kiss on my lips, smiling afterwards.

"Look, I'm going to get the flyers, okay? Just read them, and if you don't find something interesting, we think about anything else... I'll be right back!"

I went to my bag, as Patrick went to the bedroom, and got my phone, again. There was no more messages from Yuzu.

Maybe he's the reason why Patrick wants me out of the ice?

Sorry, Patrick... But I don't know for how long I'll be able to resist.

To everything.

I open my inbox, to check if I got new mails. Then, I open again my last email, hoping that PChiddy doesn't come back.

"Subject: U. S. CLASSIC - DETAILS"