Illusion of Happiness

Pride goeth before destruction,

and an haughty spirit before a fall.

-King James Bible

Jose was sitting on the end corner of the bridge, far from his home, far from the noises of the mountainous city, far from those streets and markets which reminded him of those haunted memories of his lover. The day was quite cold. The sun was shining, but the heat couldn’t be felt, just the dim sunlight, which was struggling with surrounding black clouds, to let it out, to make the city illumine with its power. Jose was thinking, it was his hobby, to dwell himself in self pity. Just yesterday he had seen a movie about a sacrificial love story. Now he was thinking about the things happened in the movie. He thought for a long time, until it started to rain.

In home, after eating his dinner, he walked to the porch and sit on the chair. It was still raining with some sort of smell in their, which made his mood even more remind him of those good memories of his lover. He was sitting in almost dark porch, except the light coming out from window of the first room in front. He was again thinking. It was the only thing he liked now days. Tomorrow he was to submit a paragraph to the newspaper editor. He took a job of writing for that paper besides working as a typist in a lawyer’s office. He wrote about the things which were not thought about by the people who were busy saving money and buying latest electronic gadgets by seeing the latest ads. He wrote philosophical columns. And he received a huge fan mail, so he now knew that there were people who understood him, despite his family, which never understood him. But today he wanted to transform the pain into a story, a story full with pain and love, in the column he was to submit. Today he was thinking and reached a universal truth which had been long preached by great men before him, but he has got a subject now for his column.

He started writing a story on the subject….

To know the true value of anything in the life, first get hooked or purchase that thing, then leave it for sometime, in that time you will experience the change brought about by that thing and will know its true meaning. The proud man was about to find out these lines becoming reality. When he was young and was not so rich, he always dreamt of big house, cars, luxurious life with his lover. They would go to beach to experience the sunset, and he would often ask himself, life is full with joy. The time when his lover was with him, life seemed easy, everything seemed easy. HE WAS SO HAPPY.

He didn't realize that life seemed so full with joy because his lover was with him. He started getting successful. He thought that the success he is getting is because of his brave heart and fearless thinking. He was filling with pride slowly along with becoming a successful businessman. He forgot that he felt brave because he has love, the greatest power, the synonym for life. When he became so rich and popular, he was completely lost in that illusion of respect, love and fame. He started disrespecting his lover, he would make her heart wounded with his sharp words and deeds. Her heart would still say that he will be back. But her heart was wrong and the proud man tore every moment of their love with his proud behavior. Her lover begged him to see the reality, to respect her love and this way he would again be happy. The proud man laughed at her saying to her that how foolish she was, HE WAS HAPPY. Can’t she see how popular he was, how much respect he is getting, how much money he has. He said to her that he was happier than in his past time. She understood that he is fully corrupted and has forgotten feelings which together constitute life. He was wounding and hurting her mentally, because she mattered less to him now.

He said to her with a pride in his face, “CAN'T YOU SEE HOW HAPPY I AM NOW. EVERYONE LOVES ME, I DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE, EVEN IF YOU MAKE A  DECISION TO LEAVE ME, EVEN THEN I WILL BE HAPPY.” She, full with wounds  in her heart delivered by his bitter tongue and his deeds said to him, “WHOEVER YOUR GOD IS, MAY HE GIVE YOU ALL THE THINGS OF THE WORLD, ALL THE RESPECT YOU DESERVE, BUT MAY NEVER GIVE YOU TRUE LOVE AGAIN IN THIS LIFE, MAY YOU ROT IN YOUR LONELINESS IN THE CROWD.” And left with her broken heart, weeping silently. He thought that she is behaving too emotional, he ignored her words, because he was NOW a COOL person like they show in television, those COOL people who call emotions of others as foolish things, those losers who make fun of feelings of other. He continued with his life and became more successful.

After some years, he started feeling that he was some sort of machine, who was programmed to do things expected by the people, otherwise he would ruin his image of rich man. Soon he started getting bored of his life. He started questioning himself what was his purpose in this earth. To work, eat, sleep and repeat the same procedure every day.

He begin to feel pain in his life, which was not physical, it was a pain which plants its seeds when a soul cry for love and his soul was now crying. His soul wanted a soulmate, his soul wanted her. He would go to bed late at night now, the pain which planted its seeds, was now flourishing in his soul. He was getting depressed day by day. He didn't enjoy his life, everything seemed fake to him.

The words of that loving soul were turning into curse for him. He realized that now time has also passed, while he was busy in maintaining his pride. He would weep inside now every night yearning for LOVE. He would get lost in those moments when he rejected love. HIS LIFE WAS BEGINNING TO ROT IN THE LONELINESS. He looked for some way to stop this pain, this crying of his soul, but found none. Time dragged and so does his life, but now with a tree of pain which had grown in middle of his soul. He looked much older than his age, even though he was in his fourties. Life was gone from him. He was now despising the moments when he called himself happy after hurting his lover. He had everything, luxurious cars, big houses, healthy food, clean water, everything dreamt by normal beings, who think that these things will made them HAPPY, like he thought many years earlier. He wanted to say to these people that they were wrong.

HAPPINESS, he now hated this word. Every bad deed is done with happiness as the aim. He doesn’t wanted to be happy, HE WANTED TO BE LOVED.A human being should be able to earn his bread, to sustain their body, like all the species of birds, plants and animals do, that is enough and is also a law of nature. If they truly want to acquire something then let it be  the greatest powers of all, LOVE. He was becoming sick of his life without true love. He was so much stuck in his negative thoughts that he even didn't wanted to pursue his life. He found no aim in his life. He stopped going to his offices. He donated a very large part of his wealth to charity. He was now slowly getting rid of his possessions to give them to people who need them, because he had now found a way to get rid of his pain…..

His dead body was found in his house, with a note written and signed by him.

*****