Impossibly Certain [dan howell]

f i v e

I sat alone in the dark, my face only illuminated by the editing program on my Mac. I replayed the same clip a few times, trimming the end a bit. I sighed and looked at the time—2:34am. Rolling my chair away from the desk, I saunter into the kitchen for some tea. I spotted my phone on the counter, obviously left there from dinner, and I tap the home button to see if I missed anything.

Dan Howell 11:45

hey its dan, jw if you maybe want to grab coffee tmrw? lol sorry if youre already asleep

I stared the notification, still debating whether or not I fell asleep editing and this is a dream. I unlocked my phone and looked at the message, confirming that it is, in fact, real.

"Holy fuck," I whispered. The actual Dan Howell texted me. "Holy fuck!" I said, louder now. I ran into Kayla's room to find her already asleep. Without another thought I jumped into her bed, shaking her body and calling her name.

"Fuck off, I'm sleeping." She groaned in annoyance.

I shoved my phone in her face, "What does this mean?" I asked her, my eyes wide.

She propped herself up onto her elbow, squinting at my phone. I watched her eyes skim over the words until a lazy smirk etched across her face.

"Dan Howell just asked you out."

After Kayla grumpily kicked me out, I laid in my bed, staring at the screen for about ten minutes. I didn't want to wake him up, but at the same time I defiantly wanted to text him back right now. Against my better judgment, my thumbs hit the screen and rapidly started tapping.

Hi, sorry it's so late, I was editing a vid. But I would love to grab coffee!

I locked my phone and laid flat on my bed. I can't believe this is happening. What was more unbelievable, my phone had vibrating in response.

haha dw im still awake and is tmrw good for you?

We went back and forth for a while, setting up plans for tomorrow but also a few other conversations. My cheeks started to hurt from smiling, and he finally told me that I need to get some sleep. Miraculously, I actually did after an hour of freaking out.

When my eyes first tasted the morning light the next day, I could already feel the excitement in my bones. I carefully picked out a perfect outfit, while placing final touches on some light make-up. I was so excited for this maybe-date-maybe-hang-out thing, still unsure what the hell he even asked to do. I skipped into the hallway anyway to find Kayla eating some cereal.

"Someone looks happy," she said, morning exhaustion still laced in her voice.

I looked at the clock, "He will be here in thirty-three minutes." I said, biting my nails, "Do I look okay?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "You look fine. And you're overthinking things again."

I really do overthink things too much. The way my bedroom is tidy and neat, the way my videos take three days to edit. I try to 'relax' about those things, but, much to Kayla's dismay, I think that it's just a part of who I am. It's not that I can't have fun, I can, but I like things to be controlled.

Before I knew it I was running to our apartment door, throwing it open and breathing heavily.

"Dan," I said, smiling.

"Ophelia," He said back to me, and I felt myself blush. He was wearing a grey shirt and a light black jacket, his legs sporting the usual black jeans.

"Um, let me just grab my purse. Please, come in." I opened the door further, letting him step in.

Kayla strolled into the living room in her pj's, still eating cereal. "Hey giant. How's the weather up there," she said, sitting on the couch.

"Hi Kayla," Dan laughed, but I shot her a look.

Throwing my purse over my shoulder, I lightly pushed Dan out the door, "Bye Kayla!"

We walked towards the coffee shop, chatting about a few different things we had in common. At this point, I still couldn't understand if this was a date or not. He was laughing at all my jokes, and leaning in when I told a story. However, we are just getting coffee, a pretty friendly thing.

Everything stopped when I heard someone call my name. I threw my head around to find a teenage girl running up to me.

"Hi Fee! Oh my god! Hi, I'm such a big fan, can I get a picture?" she asked and I nodded. Her eyes floated over to Dan and they grew two times as large. She opened her mouth, but words refused to come out.

"Hi," Dan waved awkwardly. She waved back, completely star struck. "I can't believe this is happening," she said.

Dan caught my eyes and we smiled. Silently, we both acknowledged the girl's adorable admiration like parents to a child.

"Here, I can take the picture I—" Dan started.

The girl stood on her tiptoes, interrupting, "You have long arms!"

I shook my head, chuckling. We gathered together for selfie, the girl's smile radiating.

She pushed the hair out of her eyes, smiling at the picture we took. "This is incredible, thank you so much," she said.

"No problem," Dan said, looking at the fan with such appreciation. He truly loves them, and I smiled at the thought.

"I didn't know you guys were friends," she said, excitedly. My stomach sank. Finally, he is going to say what the actual fuck this is. He glanced over at me, looking me in the eye.

"Yeah."

All in one moment, I felt a weight crush onto my shoulders. My stomach sucked in, now permanently sick. My chest tightened, as the ache settled its weight into the bottom of my heart. I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat, opening my dry mouth to speak.

"Friends."

And that was it. Dan and I were...friends.

thanks for reading:) what in the world can we possibly call Dan and Ophelia? Danphelia? Dophelia? Ophan (lol)? lmk of any of you guys think of smthg:) love you all!