Lisa & Rokko - Missed Chances (english version)

Chapter 12

Lisa sat down on a free seat in the S-Bahn and leaned back against the headrest with a deep sigh. The doors closed with a soft beep, and the train jerked into motion. She stared out the window as the city lights passed by and tried to push her thoughts away. But no matter how hard she tried, the embarrassing situation kept forcing its way back into her mind.
"Oh God, what must Rokko think of me?" An uncomfortable tightness spread through her stomach. "What on earth was I thinking, following him like that? And then running away? He must think I have completely lost my mind." She covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath. Her heart was still racing from the embarrassing incident on the playground. What on earth had she done?

She shook her head, trying to dismiss the thoughts. It had happened, she couldn't change it now. She needed to pull herself together.
When the S-Bahn stopped in Göberitz, she got up quickly and left the train. The way home wasn't far, and soon she was standing in front of her parents' familiar house.
With another sigh, she turned on the hallway light. Only when her eyes wandered through the empty room did she remember it. Her parents were at their dance class tonight. Her father had promised it to her mother years ago, and they had finally managed to attend the class together. Lisa shook her head in amusement. "I hope Dad doesn't step on Mom's feet too often," she mumbled as she hung her jacket on the coat rack.

Suddenly she felt a rising need for comfort in the form of food. She headed straight to the kitchen and opened the freezer. Her eyes landed on the vanilla ice cream, and without hesitation she took it out. She reached for a bowl in the cupboard, but then paused.
"Why create an extra dish to wash?" she thought and put the bowl back. Instead, she only grabbed a spoon, flipped open the lid of the ice cream container, and went upstairs to her room.
She sat down on the windowsill, pulled her legs up, and stared out into the dark night. As she ate the ice cream, she forced herself to think about something else, anything, as long as it was not Rokko and her own stupidity. But she did not succeed.
With a soft sigh, she let her head rest against the window. "I am hopeless."
During the following weeks, Lisa tried to avoid Rokko, which was not particularly difficult. Considering their shared past, he understandably did not seek her company either. So the weeks passed relatively uneventfully, at least as far as her private life was concerned. Professionally, however, quite a lot had happened. Rokko had managed to appease the press, and at the same time, they had succeeded in temporarily bringing Hannah back on board to support Hugo. And surprisingly, Hugo was making his first progress with his designs. None of them were fully finished yet, but at least they were one step further.

Today was one of those days when Lisa rushed from one meeting to the next. She was used to stress, but this time it felt different. Maybe it was simply the exhaustion of the last few weeks, maybe the constant questions from journalists, or maybe it was the new gossip circulating in the office.
Just as she was walking through the reception area, she heard the muffled voices of a few employees. They were not speaking very quietly, probably because they assumed Lisa would not notice them.
"Did you see that? In the paper? David with that brunette, right on the street."
"Yes, he kissed her, right then and there. And he's still supposed to be with Lisa... or not anymore?"
"I bet the breakup is only a matter of time."
Lisa froze for a moment, then forced herself to keep walking. She should ignore it. It did not matter. Or did it? Then why did she feel so strange?
A pressure built up in her chest. But it was not the story about David that brought tears to her eyes. It was pure exhaustion. She felt overwhelmed and drained. Quickly she turned away and disappeared into the copy room.

A short time earlier, Rokko had entered the reception area when his eyes fell on one of the gossip magazines lying around. Without thinking, he picked it up and looked at the already opened page. His gaze stopped at a photo of David kissing another woman, accompanied by a bold headline about a possible breakup. He let out an annoyed snort. No wonder the whole office was talking about it.
Before he could put the magazine down, he noticed Lisa slipping into the copy room with her head lowered. The muffled voices of the employees reached his ears, and his expression darkened. With a few firm steps, he stood in front of the gossiping group. "Do you not have anything better to do than spread stupid rumors?" he asked sharply. The group immediately fell silent, some of them avoiding his gaze. Satisfied, Rokko turned away.

Lisa ran her hands over her face and wiped the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve.
It was ridiculous. This was not the first time people had talked about her, especially here at the company. She had gotten used to it, and usually it did not affect her as much as it once had. And David? What he did or with whom could not matter less to her. Yet today the gossip bothered her more than usual. Perhaps it was the stress or...
Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. Lisa flinched and turned around quickly. Her eyes met Rokko's. Her thoughts began to race. He was here? Why? He would probably confront her now about following him. But to her great surprise, he simply looked at her with concern.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly.
Lisa blinked in confusion. To her astonishment, he did not seem to be here to call her crazy or to demand an explanation for her behavior the other day.
"Do not let it get to you," he said when she did not answer and lowered his hand. "People always talk, but that does not mean any of it is true." She did not quite understand what he meant. "Does he think I am upset because of the breakup rumors – which are not actually rumors?" she wondered.
Lisa wanted to say something, but no words came out.
Rokko looked at her for a moment in silence. Then, with a faint but encouraging smile full of understanding, showing her that he understood her situation, he turned and walked away.