Goodbye (Matched Fanfiction)

Recovery

It's about a month after Ky died, and I am slowly starting to recover. I took a few days off sorting right after Ky died, and everyone understood. How could I work for the people who failed to save the love of my life? But sorting ended up helping me. It was kind of like therapy in that it was something that took up all of my focus, so I couldn't focus on Ky. Xander has almost completely recovered from the shock of Ky's death, which I understand, since Xander wasn't as close to Ky as I was.

Right now I'm on my break, and I decide to use it as I do all my breaks; watching, and talking to, the still. Even after Ky died, I kept going to see the still because it had become part of my routine. Now, I love talking to all the still, and learning about them and their families from the medics. I reassure them, even though I don't know if they can hear me. I update them on the cure and about what's happening outside of the hospital.

I go down the stairs and the same guard that was there the day that Ky died was standing at the door. She's smiling though, so I go up and see what's happening, double-checking to make sure that it's not bad, like it was before.

"What's happening?" I ask her.

"Nothing bad," She answers, smiling. "You can go in if you like." I nod, and she holds the door open for me. The first thing I see is some of the medics injecting people with something.

"What are you injecting them with?" I ask the medic closest to me. He turns toward me and looks at me like he's answering a dumb child.

"The cure. What else would we be injecting them with?" He snaps.

"I don't know," I mumble, slurring my words together. I don't know what to think. I'm feeling a thousand different things. Anger that Ky never got the chance to get the cure. Happiness that all our work paid off and that we now have a cure. Worry that there will be another mutation. A bunch of other emotions that I can't even begin to understand. I look around to see if there is a different medic to nicer medic to talk to, and I go up to one lady that looks friendly.

"Does the cure work?" I ask, the question that all the different emotional parts of me need to know.

"Yes! The first cured person is outside," The medic lady says excitedly. I always hoped the first cured person would be Ky. My eyes start filling up with tears as I think of him. I take a deep breath, rub my eyes, and walk outside.

There's a crowd around a person right outside the door, I assume the person is the guy who got cured. I decide that now is not a good time to talk with him. He seems overwhelmed by all the attention. I start to look around for Xander instead. I'm sure he already knows about the cure - he was working on it every single day - but I want to see how he feels about there being a working cure, and about Ky not getting a chance to have it. I find him in a chair outside Oker's lab, his eyes closed and his head resting against the wall. I know he isn't asleep, Xander has never been able to sleep during the day, but I bet he just doesn't want to be disturbed. I disturb him anyway. I sit down on a chair next to him.

"So. There's a cure now," I say. It's been a lot easier to talk to Xander lately, I guess because after Ky died we've been spending a lot more time together. Every break I don't spend with the still I spend with the still I spend with Xander, and sometimes he even visits the still with me.

"Yep," He replies, not moving his head or opening his eyes. I sigh.

"What's wrong?" I ask impatiently. This time he both opens his eyes and moves his head, and he looks towards me in surprise.

"What do you mean, 'What's wrong?'?" He asks defensively.

"I mean, you're sitting on an uncomfortable chair in the hallway outside your lab, pretending to sleep. Since you haven't done anything for the past little while, I'm guessing, you've had a lot of time to think about something, and I'm assuming that that is what's bothering you. So what's wrong?" I repeat gently.

"I don't know. I should be happy about the cure. I mean, I've been working on it for months. But I just-" He sighs. "Now that it's finished, I feel useless. I didn't get to help my friend. I don't have any purpose anymore. I'm just useless." I'm surprised at his answer. I didn't know what I expected him to say, but this certainly wasn't it. Xander has always been moving around, always ahead of everyone else, always has something to do. And always useful.

"Xander. It is not your fault that Ky died," I say firmly. "And you can always move on and do other things. You can help transport the cure, or make more of the cure, or inject more people with the cure. And when this mutated plague is all over, you can be anything you want to be. You could be a doctor, like you were before, helping people from all over. You will always be important, Xander. And even when you become unimportant and useless, you will always be important and useful to me." I say, though I wish someone was giving me this speech. I'm still sad about Ky, and I feel like someone who cared about me telling me about him would make it better. But I don't know. All I know is that it helped Xander.

Xander pulls me into a hug, and he squeezes me tightly.

"Thank you," He whispers. The hug feels so good, so comforting that I start to cry. I don't know exactly because of what, but all the tears that I've bottled up and wiped away this last month are coming out now. I press my face into Xander's shirt. He realizes I'm crying, but he just holds me tighter.

"Don't worry. Even though Ky is gone, he still loves you. I still love you. You're family loves you. You are always going to be important to lots of people." That's what I needed. I'm still crying, but I smile into Xander's shirt, and I squeeze him tightly, still feeling sad, but lucky beyond comparison.

*º*º*º*º*º*º*º*º*º*º*º*

When I head back to my room later that evening, I see a package sitting on my bed. I look at it, puzzled, for a second, and then I go over to it and open it. I take a sharp breath when I see what's inside. It's Ky's compass, the one that I gave to the Archivists. I pick it up to make sure it's real, and it is. Inside the package is also a note, from the Archivists. It says,

Dear Cassia,

We heard that you're dear friend Ky passed away about a month ago now, I believe. We are so sorry. We knew how much you cared about him. Here is a gift that we hope will make you smile.

Your Friends,

The Archivists

Happy tears start streaming down my cheeks, and I smile. I hug the compass tightly to my chest and I smile my first real, genuine smile since Ky died.

Should I another part of this or do you think this is a good ending?

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