Our Hidden Feats

This may sound weird, but I have a lot to say about you people. I mean, I can’t really jump up and start talking to you. The last time I did that I got in big trouble. Not with you, but with my parents. Well with people as well. I was just lucky enough to find someone nice enough to write down my thoughts. Well, more like I was careless and was seen. But don’t tell anyone. Especially not my parents. Please? I’ll get in so much trouble if they found out I was talking to a human. And a guy at that. I think you might be confused. I know I am. Well, I’m confused a lot. I can’t seem to hold my focus. Maybe I’m still too young…I don’t know. Maybe. Before I get too off track I should probably start the real story.

I’ve been living with humans for a long time. Ever since I was born, but it’s even longer than that. I think you can say I was here before you were. Well, maybe a little longer than that. Oh, right. My name’s Sephi. I’m a Buffle. I think we’re called that because we look like bubbles. But we’re green and look like leafs. Well, like what humans call cabbages mixed with a white apple for our center. Green leafs wrapped around an onion that looks like an apple. We look really pretty when we bloom. Our leaves open and we get to show off the flower on our heads. I’ve seen my flower only a few times. It’s the prettiest one of all. What? Oh, right. I keep getting off track. If you could see me right now I’m thumping my bulb against my head. Silly me.

So, my name’s Sephi. If you haven’t noticed, I like the word ‘well’ and I use it a lot. Like a lot a lot. Well, maybe not that much but you get the idea. I’m a girl. Sometimes it’s hard to tell ‘cause Buffles tend to look the same until we turn five. That’s when we have our first bloom and grow the things that tell us apart. Oh yeah, I’m barely twelve in Buffle years. In human years I guess you can say I’m…uh…several hundred? That’s not old for me. I’m still young. Right, right. The real story you want to hear.

Buffles live among humans. We don’t do much but we do watch you. You humans do a lot of silly things. I once saw this guy ride a…a bike—is that what it’s called?—down a street and try to jump a river. He didn’t make it but it was funny to watch him get all wet. Anyways, we live wherever humans live. Like fleas. What? That’s a bad way to say it? Really? Oh, okay. Well, we’re always with you so use whatever…word you want. I live with my parents of course. Right now I’m in a small house just outside a large town. Uh, it’s called…hold on. San Francisco! That’s it. San Francisco is close to where I live. Well, more like I live close to San Francisco. Actually, it’s where the humans live. Kinda the same thing if you think about it. Oh, right. The story.