Never Forget (Captain Swan)

Oh Hell No

"How much I love you. And not like friend love, the kind of love that makes you want to just die because you can tell the person how you feel. And God I've been wanting to kiss you for so long and I've been wanting to tare those clothes off for so long. And I've had to keep it all inside..."

Those were the first words to cross Emma's mind when she awoke the next day. She laid in bed, not wanting to get up, not wanting to deal with him.

Back when they met, she thought he was cute. And it was not a lie, he still remained quite attractive. Anyways, she didn't let her affection get out of control once they became friends. After a year or so of knowing him, she realized her view of him had not changed. Nonetheless she buried her feelings, not wanting to ruin the unique friendship. And she can't believe that she had said something so ridiculous to him. Exposing her true feelings.

Her only solution was to lie and say she was too drunk to remember. Sure, maybe the right thing to do was talk about it, but she wouldn't risk losing him.

So she had to forget everything, act normal, and keep her emotions at bay.

"You sleep alright, love?"

She took her gaze off of the ceiling and realized he was standing there, in her room, against her doorframe.

"Yeah," She sat up and rubbed her eyes, standing hastily and going to the bathroom.

"Do you remember anything about last night?" He followed after.

"Nah, everything's kind of a blur."

That wasn't a total lie. Her memory of the previous night had its bits and pieces missing out.

"Oh," he frowned then perked up a bit, "I'll go make you breakfast."

She nodded and he left.

Looking in the mirror she released a sigh of both relief and frustration. He did remember... but he wasn't telling her. Maybe it was better off that way.

Quickly enough, she brushed her teeth, showered, and dressed then went to the kitchen, taking a seat in one of the stools that were in front of the island.

He set a plate of scrambled eggs and strawberries (with whipped cream) before her and she instantly dug in, not wanting to even talk to him.

"We're heading to Bobst later, right?" He asked and sat beside her with the same dish.

She nodded, not trusting her own voice. All she could think of was his lips, his hands, and god his body. They were all over her that night and she heated at the thought.

"Alright well, we'll head there when we're done eating." He smiled softly.

The tension in the room was unmistakable. He was acting as if nothing was wrong, but she could see past his mask. His mind was right where hers was. And she wasn't the best actor so he most likely knew she was faking it as well.

After a couple of more minutes of uncomfortable silence he finished eating, "I'll shower then we can leave." He said putting his plate in the sink.

"Okay." Was all she said, pushing what was left of the scramble around her plate with a fork.

He headed off to his room. Had he made a mistake not telling her? She was acting strange - quiet - but she wouldn't lie to him, right? That kiss was a mistake, and he was afraid to talk to her about it because he didn't want to find out if her confession was true or not.
And he didn't want to hurt her.
She was his friend. That's all.
Sure, she was pretty and sexy, smart, funny, sarcastic... and his best friend.

He's never looked at her like that, and he won't start now.

She's been there through literally every hard moment of his life. She was the one who defended him when that guy wanted to jump him, she was there when his father and mother died. How could he let a stupid one time thing ruin that?

After the shower he put on baggy jeans and a shirt along with his black leather jacket. The jacket she got him for his birthday.

Sighing he grabbed his bookbag and headed out of the room.

She was there leaning against the front door, now with skin tight jeans and a tank top that she paired with her red leather jacket. "Ready?"

"Yeah." He grabbed his keys and opened the door when she stepped back and they walked out.

It was awkward and the silence was unwanted. They always talked, he always pulled her by the hand when leaving the building, they always stood close - as if the other made them feel safe. Now, they were a foot or two in separation, not saying anything, and no hands touching. It was pure torture.

After 30 agonizing minutes, they were in Bobst Library, their favorite study place. If was big and airy, and what Emma loved the most about it - it was filled with thousands of books.

They took their usual seat by the window that was pretty much the height of the wall, and it gave a very promising view of New York City. They sat across from each other and took out what was needed. Pens, binders, textbooks, notebooks, highlighters ect.

"Is Ruby meeting us?" He asked opening the mechanics textbook.

"In a few." She sighed and began writing down notes that needed to be remembered. Emma's always wanted to be a doctor, immunologist preferably. Something about the subject intrigued her. She could save lives, help people. That's what she liked. She knew the real medical world wasn't a fairytale, not all doctors were really in it for the healing part, they were in it for the money and to try to get people to pay more. She on the other hand, wanted to be one of the few that actually cared.

And if she wanted to get there, she had to pass the medical course and not fail the midterm.

Everything about Killian had to be put aside, right now all that mattered was her career. And no boy drama would ruin it.

"Hey Ems!" Ruby beamed and ran towards Emma, enwrapping her in a hug.

"Hey, Killian."

"Hi, Rubs." He responded, pen twirling smoothly between his fingers while his eyes darted back and forth over the page.

"You're a little early..." She smiled and scooted over her things so Ruby could lay down hers.

"Never too early to study." The brunette grinned, "I'm gonna go get a book real quick, and by the way, I'm happy you guys got over the whole kiss thing."

The pen stilled between his fingers and he froze, Emma's state mimicked his.

"Or not..." She frowned, "I'll go now." She basically ran off, Emma immediately wishing she came back. At least with Ruby here it wasn't so weird.

They stayed quiet for what seemed like minutes, when in reality it was only forty seconds until he spoke up, "Guess the cat's out of the bag."

She just stayed put, not moving, eyes still against the wooden desk. Damn Ruby! She just had to.
Couldn't she just be quiet once in a while? This meant boy drama.

"Emma."

No response.

"Love..?"

"Don't call me that." She gave him a mere glare before getting up and disappearing into the isles of books.