The Process of Contemplation

Chapter 3

I wake up in a panic, I don't know where I am, and all I see is pitch black. I feel muscular arms around me keeping me warm. Is this a dream? I don't recall going to bed, what did I do last night? Brian! I sit up in a panic fully awake now. I am sitting in the back of Brian Davidson's truck. What all did we do? I think back, and remember his hands and his lips. So smooth and gentle, but also rough in a complete sexy way. I remember dancing with him after he told me how much he had liked me ever since we worked together last year. Was he serious? I mean he had a girlfriend during that time, we didn't do anything, but from what he told me last night he sure did want to. Did we have sex?! No, we didn't, I distinctly remember that part. 'Brian stop', I remember myself saying. 'Okay Roz, I understand.' he said back. He was such a gentleman about it. I want to get to know him a lot more before we even think about crossing that line. "Roz, what's going on? Are you okay?" Now it's Brian's turn to sit up in a panic. "Everything's fine, we fell asleep." I say with a short laugh. "Oh, I guess we did didn't we?" he says looking at me laughing. "Brian we have to get out of here. I bet Lacy is freaking out." I say as I search for my phone.

*Heyyy, hows it goin?! I want all the deets!*

*when r u comin back?*

*its 12 am nd ur not back yet, should I be worried?!*

*DAMN IT ROSE. ANSWER UR PHONE!*

I look at the time, "Shoot! It's 3 a.m.! We have to go!" I say packing up the picnic stuff. "What's the rush?" Brian says putting his arms around me trying to pull me into his embrace. "No, Brian we have to get back I have to call Lacy." I tell him as I pull away, he frowns and lets out a big dramatic sigh. "Fine, I guess all good things must come to an end." He stretches and kisses my cheek and gets up to start the car. "Thank you." I say through a smile. Before he walks to the driver's seat I grab his hand, wrap my arms around him, and give him a quick kiss. He wraps his arms around me and picks me up. "Brian!! What on earth are you doing? Put me down!" I squeal. "Alright, alright." He says as he puts me down on the seat of the truck. He gets in the truck and tries to start it, but it makes an awful sputtering noise. "Haha, very funny Brian, c'mon let's just go." I say as I put my seatbelt on. "Roz I'm trying, but the battery is dead." "How can the battery be dead?" I say starting to get a little worried. That's interesting, this is the first time I have been worried since Brian and I kissed. "I turned the truck on to play music, and then I got so caught up in the moment and we started making out and then we ended up laying down on the tailgate and I never thought to turn the truck off. It's been on all night." He says as his voice gets quieter and quieter, slower and slower. "So, we're stuck here until the battery cools off?" I ask as my voice gets higher and higher, faster and faster. "Pretty much, yeah." He says looking at me. "I'm really sorry Roz, it's my fault I take full responsibility. Even though it's partly your fault too." He says looking at me with a smirk. "What?! How on earth is this my fault?" I say in a raised voice. "Well you were the one who distracted me with your blue eyes and gorgeous smile and when you kissed me it was like a million fireworks were going off. That stuff tends to distract some people Roz!" he moves in closer to me. "You're too much." I say. I lean closer to him and put my head on his, he leans in to kiss me and I immediately pull away and get out of the truck. "Roz, what are you doing?" Brian says as he gets out of the car. "Well, if we're stuck here there's no point in not getting a good night's sleep. You set up the tailgate, I gotta call Lace." As Brian sets up all of the blankets and pillows, I call Lace. "Rosaline Angelina Posing, you are in serious trouble! You better explain yourself right now before I come through this phone and wring your and Brian's neck!" "Okay, okay. I'm sorry Lace I'll explain everything whenever I get back." "Oh and when will that be?" Lace was obliviously furious. "I'm not sure, Brian's truck battery went dead so we're waiting for it to start up again which will probably be later in the morning. So I'll see you then and I'll bring Starbucks and lemon cake!" I say knowing that Lacy will automatically forgive me as soon as she sees the lemon cake in the morning. "Fine, the front door's unlocked and you better not forget my coffee and lemon cake!" "Okay Lace, I'll see you real soon! I owe you one!" "Hell yeah you do! I'll see you tomorrow, but hey Rose....are you a virgin?" "Ohmygosh! Yes, Lace goodnight!" I quickly hang up. Why would she even ask that? Just because I spend one night with a boy and we're all alone, doesn't mean that I'm going to let him take my virginity. "Got it all settled, Babe?" Brian says as I hop onto the tailgate. "Yeah, the front door is unlocked and Lace is expecting coffee and lemon cake in the morning. And don't call me 'babe'!" I tell him and pull up the covers. Just because it's summer doesn't mean that night time breezes aren't cold. "Why can't I call you babe?", Brian asks me as he starts to lay down beside me. "Because it makes me think that we're together, and I know that we aren't." "Oh." Brian says not trying to hide his disappointment. "Will you be my girlfriend?" He asks with a hopeful tone. I sit up and look at him. He's beautiful in the moonlight, his hair is all messy, his shirt is loose, and his eyes are so gorgeous I could just stare at them for forever. "But, I don't even know you...and you don't know me." I say and look out onto the water, the waves are still crashing into the rocks it's so peaceful up here. "That doesn't mean I don't want to know you." He says as he sits up beside me, and reaches for my hand. "This is just all so sudden. I mean here we are, in this beautiful place and all of a sudden the guy who I have liked forever all of a sudden likes me too. It's a bit unrealistic don't you think?" I say and look up at him, even sitting down he's taller than me. He's just looking out into the ocean, like he's looking for answers. Something I did not too long ago. "I'm sorry, I know that it was so sudden, but I'm not exactly the talking type. I say what I think, and I just comes out however it comes out. I'm sorry if I freaked you out, I know that this is a lot to take in on the first date." He doesn't look at me, he just stares at the ocean. "Date? Is that what this is?" I ask looking at him for answers. He turns and looks at me and says, "I hope so, and if it's okay with you I'd like to go on another one with you." He's looking so deep into my worried eyes. Worried and troubled, that's me. Should I let him in? what if he gets to know the real me and doesn't like me anymore and my heart ends up getting broken? Do I want to take that chance? It feels so good whenever he kisses me and holds my hand, this can't all be fake. "I would really like to go on another date with you Brian." I say. If he means all of the things that he is saying to me, than I can at least give him a chance. He gives me a tired smile. "You need to sleep." I whisper. He lays down and lets go of my hand and pulls me into his embrace, "Come here." He whispers back and pulls me into his arms. This time I don't pull away, I lay down with him and am filled with things that I haven't felt in a long time. Security, hope, peacefulness, and love. Assuring, completely terrifying, but soft and sweet...love.