"Not even a seen"
Tapping the chat head, it goes back to the lower right corner of my tablet.
"*sigh* Well, she is busy" I mutter to myself
For the most part, that's true. Family matters are taking place in her household right now, so she tends to just blink back and forth, only staying for a few minutes, then gone, then back, and that process just repeats until around 10PM. At that time, she'll finally stay, up until midnight comes and her mom takes away her phone.
"I'll miss you..."
She's moving away around the end of our school year, so I try my best to cherish the moments I spend with her, but sometimes... it's just hard to do that.
"Heh, if only."
She already has a boyfriend, thus, making moves on her is strict no-no for me. The Bro Code just really guilts me everytime I do. Although, it's not like I'm the one that's getting close.
"My mind is gonna break down before you even leave."
I'm not sure if she's flirty, spontaneous, or just plain naive, but boys just seem to be, attracted to her? Is that even the right wording for it? Gah, Idunno.
"Hey, you there?" I ask while tapping the chat head, bringing up the conversation we've had only mere minutes ago.
'You still up, mate?' I type in and send
This always happens... I go on, she goes out. I go off, she goes in. My timing is just precocious. Haaah, damnit. God-fucking-damnit. Heh, you know, she plans to deactivate her acc. once she leaves. Nobody knows that, but I do, which makes me go crazier about her and about my state of mind.
"Geez, make up your mind will you. Do you like me or do you not? Are we nothing but bestfriends, or are you giving me some damn signs? Will you even remember me once you've left? Will you take a picture of our conversations just to look back at them? ...will you miss me? I'll miss you like hell, that's for sure, I mean, not many girls captivate my heart and manage to hold on to it for a year, so yeah... yeah. *sigh*"
As I type in the last word, I keep the message, like I always do, it became a habit of mine to write how I feel about her in PM, then just leave it there.
Unsent. Left to rot. To just disappear into nothingness.
Damnit.
"Cat, I love you" I whisper to the air.
-----------
To:
Samantha Nicole K. Del Monte, I'll miss you.
The chances of anyone that knows her, finding this, is meek, but if you actually do know her, please, don't show this to her. Please.
YOU ARE READING
Messenger
RandomA compilation of a teenager's struggle with love, life emotions, puberty, and whatnot, all presented in a form of scrambled text, if you can call it that. This is just a way for me to tell someone how I feel, without actually saying it to them, so y...
