awkward

Hi. I'm Elizabeth. But everyone just calls me Lizzie. Well. I'm pretty awkward, I have friends and all, don't get me wrong. When I say I'm awkward I mean, I'm awkward around my crush, Charlie. I've known Charlie for 15 years. Oh yeah. by the way, I'm 15 years old. Charlie and I have been best friends forever.....literally.

But around the third grade, I started to have feelings for him. REAL FEELINGS. Ever since I was kid, I was in love with him. Charlie is really tall for his age, he's 6,1. Charlie is funny, sweet, very adorable. He has these gorgeous greenish hazel like eyes and perfectly caramel brown hair. 

Me, I have brown hair, brown somewhat hazel eyes and I have a hopeless crush on Charlie. I'm 5,8 and I'm outgoing, I guess.......

Charlie calls me Lizzie Loo. It's my favorite nickname of all time. My older brother Henry is really good friends with Charlie. My brother is going to college next fall. He's going to UCLA. We live in Los Angeles by the way.

Basically, I'm awkward around Charlie. Like really awkward. I love him so much though. I can't stand it because I'm always thinking about him all the time. He's perfect. Charlie is everything I want in a guy but, nope. I'm obviously not good enough for him. Sometimes I'll sit down and all I'll be thinking about is him. His smile, his eyes, his personality, everything. It hurts how much I love him.

The next day, it's time for school. ugh. Monday. At least I have first period with Charlie. I start getting ready and my phone vibrates. It's a text from Charlie it says "Heyy ready for the english test today" THE TEST! ugh! I was so busy thinking about Charlie I forgot to study! It's a really important test too! Could life get any worse? I rush out of the house to the bus stop and I hear a familiar voice "hey Lizzie Loo" it's charlie. "hey Charlie" I reply rather tired.  

I can't help but stare into his eyes. they're so green and perfect but anyways, the bus comes and we're on the way to school when, the bus just breaks down out of nowhere and the worst thing is I'm sitting right next to him. Now I have to be social and talk to him. Its to early to be social. ugh. Why me???!!! 

The bus is finally fixed and we are going back to school and I hear Charlie says "Liz. I think I love you" what?!? Are my ears deceiving me?! I don't know what to do. So I say "huh" and he says "I love you a lot okay" OHMYGOD!!!! He loves me!!! HE LOVES ME!!! I'm so nervous all I do is just say "I love you more and I've loved you since the third grade" BUZZ! 

NO! the alarm clock! I was dreaming!!!! ugh. I hate life. Anyways I'm going to explain, Charlie and I tease and mess around. We also hang out.......A LOT. We have so many memories like, laughs, pictures, nicknames.... everything. But he doesn't like me. I think. He's always there for me and I tell him everything. He does the same to me. Charlie is perfect and I'm well me.

I go to the bus stop for real and already I'm in a bad mood. Charlies voices comes closer and closer, "Lizzieeee!!!! Lizzieeee. I seeeee you" just his voice makes me smile. I love him. "Heyyy Charlieee." I say with a bit more happy in my voice. "Hey kiddo ready for the test?" "No. I'm going to fail and Mrs. "Big Boned" is going to yell at me" Hey be nice Liz. I'm sorry. hahah.  

The bus comes and I'm sitting next to Charlie. "So......" I say with extra awkward in my voice. "Sooo...." he replies back adorably. "You're such a loser Charlie. but I love you" I say to him and he smiles. "You're bigger loser but I love you more." He's the best friend ever. He's perfect. Oh god why do I love him.  

I might need to add, other than Charlie I have other friends. Actually, my best friend is named Sabrina. She's really pretty and hilarious. I've known her since the 6th grade. Plus, she's been with her boyfriend, Kyle since the 6th grade. Kyle is a good friend of mine. He's one of Charlies best friends but they have had on and off moments.

Sabrina is the only one who knows about my feelings for Charlie. She's so amazing. We walk into the school. We all have 1st period. Time for the vocabulary test. Well, time to fail. I walk in, "Good morning mrs. Big bon...." I catch myself there but too late she already heard. crap. She brushed it off thank god but I was so embarrassed. We get the tests.

First question and I'm already confused. If I wasn't thinking about Charlie this wouldn't have happened. He sits next to me in English. So does Sabrina. I stare into the space and suddenly, all the answers come to me. YES. I write them down as fast as I can and check over and hand it in. Thanks universe. I owe you one.  

Class is finally over and we have like a 30 minute study hall next. Charlie and I walk together and we just talk. I don't even know what we talked about but we talked just like always. We walked in and one of Charlies friends pulls him away which I don't mind. I go over to Kyle and he tells me this "Did you hear that Charlies going to ask out Mary tomorrow" My heart shatters and sinks and my stomach is in my throat and hardly any words come up and I say "No. Just no"

We're in the library so I run into the bookshelves and hide my head in my arms and just cry. Charlie comes and finds me and asks me what's wrong. I don't answer, I can't. I just say this "What happened?" and he says nothing and then I say "Why her?" Then I get up and walk away. Charlie just sits there and I feel horrible.

****CHARLIES POV****  

What did I do?? Why is she mad! LIZ!! Wait come back. God. Why are you mad? "Why didn't you tell me about Mary?!" Why did I have to. Crap that was mean. "MAYBE BECAUSE IM YOUR SO CALLED BEST FRIEND!! MAYBE BECAUSE I CARE. MAYBE BECAUSE WE'RE GROWING APART!!! I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME OKAY!!!" she yelled back and all I could do was stare. "I'm not an alien charlie. stop staring." She stormed off crying. What have I done? Ugh.

****LIZZIES POV****

How could he?! Why Mary. Why not me? He made me scream and cry and confess but I still love him more than ever. Ugh. I can't stop thinking about him. I ruined everything. What am I supposed to do. Hey universe just because I said I owe you one doesn't mean you can ruin everything. I walk back up to Charlie and we just stand there and he says "I'm sorry" and I say I'm sorry. Charlie I just care I'm sorry. I'm happy for you. I hope Mary says yes. lying to him hurt.........a lot.

****CHARLIES POV****

Woah. Why is my stomach tickling, why am I turning red, why are my palms sweaty. Do I? No I can't! Shes my best friend!! I LIKE LIZZIE. No not now. What about Mary. What am I supposed to do. Bad timing. Everyone is going to hate me. No. No more feelings. No more. I love Lizzie. No I don't. Wait. No I don't. okay good it was just a weird feeling. Now, what am I going to say to Mary tomorrow?

****LIZZIES POV****

I hope Mary loves him like I do. What am I saying. No one will love him like I do. No one knows him like me. No one cares except for me. No one wants me though. Not Charlie, not anyone. I want to just go home and sleep and just curl up and cry.