The Glow In My Eyes

Chapter 1

                       I remember it all too clearly. I was wrapped up in a thick, white comforter on my mom and dad's bed, three times the size of mine. I was watching cartoons, I can't remember which. Probably Spongebob or some other cartoon that managed to amuse my six year old mind.

                     "Olivia! Get your shoes on, we're going for a drive!" It was ten o' clock and I was still sleepy. Reluctantly, I dragged myself out of bed and made my way downstairs. I grabbed a granola bar and slipped on some bright pink sketchers. My mother was sniffling and blinking away tears. She tried to hide it when the tears pushed their way past her eyes, but to no avail. My father comforted her and I watched them quietly from the other room. "We have no choice...it's for the best..." These were among the many things I overheard. My mother nodded her head in agreement and walked out to the car. I followed. Not knowing that was the last time I would ever see my sweet home again.

                       An old woman slapped some food on my tray, interrupting my thoughts. "Keep it moving! The food isn't all for you hun." barked the old woman. Calling it food, was an over statement. The truth is, I don't know what this slop was that they tried to pass off for a meal. Severe financial troubles came with this place and in it's halls, were men and women desperate for money. We can barely afford the "food". The only time we get a real meal is when we have an orphanage inspection. Some suited men come in with clip boards once a year and make sure the kids are fine and the standards are met. The kids aren't fine. The standards aren't met. Except for this one amazing day of the year. Once they are gone, so is our special treatment.

                      I made my way through a crowd of hungry kids and plopped down next to my three closest friends. There was Jay Ann, a girl with short brown hair and hazel eyes. She is funny, nice, and honest. If I was having a bad hair day, she would be the one to let me know. We have endless inside jokes and when I was with her, it was like it didn't matter that I was an orphan, it didn't matter that I hadn't tasted real food in ages. The only thoughts my mind gained around her were happy ones and ones of joy. Then there was Matthew, he is tall and thin and every word that comes out of his mouth is filled with sarcasm. He is loud and isn't afraid to say anything to anybody. He gives amazing advice and is a great listener. Although, sometimes I think someone should just listen to him for hours on end, like he does for us. His story was the saddest of us all. His mom left him here when he was 11 with no explanation. The worst part was she kept his younger brother and sister. He told me he always knew she favored them. Sometimes at night I can hear him crying. His bed is next to mine. Everyone else is sound asleep, and he thinks that includes me, it doesn't. My thoughts often keep me awake. Mia was the third friend in our close knit group. She has short blonde hair and always ends up in trouble, she is blunt with people and has a strong personality. People who didn't know her would call it being mean, but we know her better. She isn't mean. Her honesty and ability to always have a quick come back was actually quite amusing. As for me, I had medium length black hair, brown eyes and was known to be the shy one. Once I know you, I'm far from shy, but around new people, you won't hear a word from me. We are all fifteen. We're basically old. I mean, we weren't old compared to some of the eighty year old women who ran this place. We were old to couples looking for an adorable baby to adopt and watch them as they grow up. We already grew up, no one wanted kids who were three years away from going off to college and moving out. Matthew, Mia, Jay Ann and I were the lost causes. The kids who weren't wanted by there real parents, and aren't wanted now.

                       Dinner was over and we all headed to our rooms to do the loads of homework the orphanage school program assigned us every night. Mia and Jay Ann separated from us to go to their rooms. "See you in the morning!" Jay Ann said and Mia said her "good nights" as well. Matthew and I headed to our room. We shared the room with three other kids we barely knew. Tim, a short 6 year old boy has the bed across from me. A girl named Lydia has the bed across from Matthew, and a girl named Taylor has a bed next to Tim. I sat criss crossed on my twin sized bed, staring blankly at math problems I hadn't even started to solve. Next to my bed was a little brown dresser. I had a family picture, framed, standing up on top of it. Within it's drawers were two pairs of jeans, a pair of leggings, and five shirts. A coat was hung up next to it all for when winter came, and I also kept a pair of black flats, and a pair of boots lined up neatly against the nightstand. There was also a lamp. These were my only possessions.

                      Throughout the night, I robotically completed my homework assignments and occasionally made small talk with the people in my room. When I was finished, I looked at my clock. It was 9:30. All the others were packing up their papers and folders, which I had already done. I decided to sleep. What else was there to do? Boredom often crept through me and everyone else in the orphanage. At a certain point in the night there were no tasks to complete, no dinner to eat, no homework to struggle through. It was just us and our thoughts. I plopped down onto the small bed, and pulled the white sheets over myself. They were gutter trash compared to the white comforter I rolled up in every day with my parents, before they left me here, unexplained.

                       That night, I dreamed of what happened after I got in the car with my parents, on my road to an unexpected fate. My mom didn't speak. My dad didn't speak. I didn't speak. Eventually I had dozed off in the back seat, my head leaning against the car window. When I woke up, I felt well rested, I didn't know how long I had been asleep. "Olivia...you know we love you...right?" My mom looked at me from the front seat with tears running down her cheeks, taking her eye makeup with them. My dad followed by saying, "And everything we do for you is for the best?" I was confused. Anxious. Scared. I was fighting back tears. I looked at my surroundings. Their was a large building, old looking, dilapidated. Children were running around in a field behind it. Some were my age, some were older. No matter how hard I try to forget, I never will. I will never forget when I let go of my mom's hand for the last time. I will never forget the last hug my dad enveloped me in. I sat in his lap and he threw his arms around me, stroked my hair, and whispered a series of sweet last words to me. "I love you sweetie. I always will. I know it hurts. One day you will understand...I promise." He relinquished his tight grip on me, like if he didn't let go at that very moment, he might not ever let go. My parents consoled me and mumbled reassuring words, that were background noise to my own thoughts. I was young, I don't think I truly understood what was happening. I thought it was temporary. I thought everything was fine. Of course I thought that way, my mind was pure, untouched by the substandard part of life.

                       My mom and dad closed the tall orphanage doors and I never saw them again. I was rolling a small suitcase with a few belongings my mom packed for me before we left. I strolled through the humongous building and a little girl, the same age as me was watching me from around the corner. I pretended not to notice at first. Eventually, her curiosity started to irritate me.

"I see you!" I smirked.

"No you don't! I'm hiding!" responded the young girl.

"Not very well." I giggled despite the situation I was in. A girl came out from behind a wall and walked toward me. She had little pigtails, high on her head and a pink hello kitty shirt.

"Hi!" she practically screamed. She wasn't timid or shy in any aspect.

"Hello." I responded. She smiled at me and I gave a half witted smile in return. She asked me what was wrong and I surrendered to the feelings that had been building up inside of me. She was my shoulder to cry on. She has been since that day. Matthew's alarm clock woke me up. He fumbled with it and eventually just hit the thing with his hand really hard. I rolled my eyes jokingly.

"You know, there's this thing called a snooze button..."

"Haha, so funny." Matthew smirked.

                     Tim, Lydia, and Taylor remained asleep as Matthew and I were waking up. We crept into Jay Ann and Mia's room like we do every morning, and decided to give them a scare. We tip toed into their room and I headed over to Jay Ann's bed. She was spread out across the bed, mouth open, drooling. I held back the strong urge to laugh. I looked across the room at Matthew, he crouched down next to Mia.

"One...Two...Three!" Matthew said excitedly.

We let out a scream and watched as they jumped up half asleep and started laughing hysterically.

"You should have seen your face!" I shouted

"Priceless." Matthew laughed. No matter where I was, or who I was, these people were my family. My real family. This was where I belonged, and no matter how much it hurts, this is where I was meant to be. Right here. With these people.