That Sweet Pain

Give me my Romeo: and, when he shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine

That the entire world will be in love with night,

And pay no worship to the garish sun.

                                    - William Shakespeare

He was looking out at the beautiful mountains through the open window, so beautiful, that even GOD would have wanted to live in these mountains. But to him now, this beauty, this heavenly mountainous place, full with serenity and peace doesn't matter. He was looking with eyes half closed, in sort of some trance, with a sorrow clearly visible in his eyes. The song "SOLITUDE" (KARUNESH) playing in a low volume making the atmosphere even more suitable for the moment. He was alone in the room with the winter chill and fog. He took his last glass of vodka, placed the glass neatly on the table beside the open window. He was repeating only one sentence in his mind for the past two days, today however, he was going to bring it to reality, atleast he thought that. Today even if someone would come and offer him to rule entire world, he wouldn't even notice that. Today the only thing he wanted was pain, pain and more pain. He wanted to bring back all the painful memories of his love, he wanted to indulge in the bottomless well filled with pain, pain of Love. He once again stood by the window, feeling cold winter air on his face, looking at the market below at some distance, visible from his window.

He saw people in the twilight buying vegetables, children drinking soup, young lads standing by the hill side, with bottles of vodka on their hoods of cars, which they so call 'enjoying life’. A temple was decorated with lights, candles on eve of some GOD’S birthday. People were offering flowers, sweets to the temple priest, thinking GOD would made their life joyful, would shield them from all the sufferings, sorrows of this life. People with little minds, thinking little, performing tasks without actually knowing what they are doing the things for, going behind one another like flock of sheep, never asking themselves why they are offering flower to a stone, carved in some shape, which some wise people had called GOD, now they believe offering to this stone will made their life free from pain, sorrow. Little disgusting people with little minds, feeling proud to be fooled by old rituals, rituals in which animals are sacrificed to GOD to make life better. What a fucking hell this is.

These narrow minded people, little in their perspective, are now so much in numbers, that if someone shows them path to a life free from all the fake rituals, they say how it can be true while there are millions who believe the opposite. People who had lost their sense of leadership, who had lost the basic natural instinct of going on their own, finding their own food or in this case finding their own path, they are so dependent that they need some GOD, someone to show them way to a better life. Dirty little people.

Today he hated all the people of this world more than ever. He hated all the foolish things done by people before also, when he was also 'enjoying Life’. But today he thought the world was filled with nothing but fakeness, everything is fake. These little people with their narrow minds had made all things a business, all things done now have lost their actual sense of purpose. Among these one thing, which was the driving force behind life, which is the most powerful feeling, is now also traded by these filthy people, who feel proud with their restrictive decisions on their children and then they say they have done things for the good of their children, what a damn joke, that thing is LOVE.

The more he thought, the more he was filled with rage, to kill all the people of this fucking world. Fucking people, fucking each other mentally more than physically. He didn't want to spend his life changing people, changing their thoughts about life, let them whatever they want to be. He wanted to spend his life in arms of his LOVER, in this very hill cottage, which he bought a year ago, when his company made a net profit of $2.6 million dollars.