The Piece She Never Played

As I roam my eyes to my room, I felt getting teary eyed. I felt like I was a little girl crying when my her mom leaves. I saw my baggages and smiled knowing that I am going to a place where I can achieve my goals. To make my dreams come true. I stopped smiling as I saw the notes on my desk. Suddenly, I saw images of myself standing next to a man. A man I used to love. As I remember him, many thoughts have entered my mind like it was readinv a book.

"What if I did not see him?"

"What if I was just hallucinating?"

"What if its not him?"

"What if it was just her friend?"

"But what if she wasn't?"

As I go deeper in my thoughts, I was shocked when I heard a soft knock that literally pulled me through my questioning mind.

"Have a lot of thoughts dont you?" She asked.

I gave her a sly smile as I hugged her and mentally thanking her for bringing me back to earth.

"I didn't know you were comming" I said as i sat down on my bed. "Well I don't want to miss your presence for the last time" we laughed at her last statement.

We had a little chat and we didn't noticed the time passing by so quickly. She said that we should celebrate as I was already going trough my path where my dreams were. She volunteered to buy some snacks as i nodded in agreement.

As she closed the door, I suddenly felt empty, lonely aand at the same time I felt the slap of reality that I am alone. I shrugged as I pushed the thought out of my mind. Once again, I noticed the notes at my desk. Waving at me like like it was an old friend of mine. Keeping myself entertained, I grabbed the notes and to my surprise it was not an ordinary note. It was a piece! Of course it is! I was glad for finding a piece but my excitement for playing suddenly disappeared. I find myself not recognizing it for it was new to me. I know myself that I never played this piece before.

Out of my curiosity, I played it. It was easy playing it but at the same time it was beautiful. I played it like was talking to me.

As I got carried away with the beautiful harmony, I closed my eyes to feel more of the piece.

At first I was enjoyinv for I was imagining myself running through the fields of sunflowers swinging like a flower from the melody created by the piano. But as I played more, I see the man I used to be happy with. I kept playing it. But the more I play it the more I can see this man. As I play it, I can see ourselves walking through the park, locking our hands together, smiling, having an eye contact and enjoying tje moment like there was no tomorrow. We were happy. We were contented. We were in love. Well, that was I thought. I really dont know waht he feels, but the way he treats me, the way he cares for me, and the way how hapoy he is when we are together.

Not until the day I feared to come. I was happily walking through the mall as I texted him to meet me there. And I accidentally saw him at a restaurant that smile whenever we are together to a girl I barely knew. I saw him looking at his phone as he texted. Then my phone beeped and I knew it was him who texted. "I'm sorry, I can't come. You see, I have an important meeting to attend. I'll make it up to you next time ok? Take care!" As I shiftes my eyes to them, I saw him kissed the girl on the lips as they walked hand in hand out of the restaurant. My eyes swelled as I was looking at them.

I hurriedly went home and wept like a child. I felt like I was cheated, betrayed, and at the same time the precious gem in me shattered. But then reality slapped me harshly as I realized of what our realtionship really is.

"Are we friends? Are we Lovers? Do I have the right to fewl this way? Do I have the tittle of being his girlfriend for me to feel this way? NO! If not, them what is our status?! It is unknown!" I thought. I cursed myself for being this stupid. Why did I even assume that we have the same feelings beacuse to him, I'm just a toy! Ugh! Stupid me indeed! I kept cursing at myself like I was the most stupid person in the whole universe. I kept crying like I can fill the whole ocean. I tried to fix the gem that shattered, but the more I fix it, the more I hurt myself.

After weeks in pain, after numerous nights of weeping, after days of cursing myself for being stupid, I gained the courage to talk to him and confess to him about what I really feel for him. Yes, I still love him despite from the pain the pain I am feeling. He cared for me, that I knew. We didn't see each other for weeks, or maybe even months. I lost count of it.

I was in the coffee shop when I decided to finally meet him again. I alreadi informed him where and when we are going to meet. He said he was excited. I felt nervous. And I also felt like I shouldn't meet him.

I was about to text him to cancel our meeting that I'm not feeling good but it was too late for me to back out. I alreadu saw him entering the coffee shop. I'll be honest, I felt happy and at the same time tje butterflies inside me were going crazy. I tried to calm down myself as he went near the table I was seating. As he sat, I felt awkward. I know he feels it too because we didn't communicate for such a long time. It all started when I saw him at the mall. Well, I don't want to think more about it because I know, anytime the tears in my eyes are going to flow.

"So, what are you going to tell me?" He asked. I felt like he was in a rush because he's glancing at his watch. I swallowed the lump on my throat as I inhaled deeply.

"I just want to confess. I just want you to know that I love you more than a friend. I'd like to think that I have fallen for you. Deeply and madly". After I said that, there was silence. Then I saw him gave a sly smile. It was like hinting me of rejection.

"Im sorry. But I have a girlfriend already. And I love her so much that I even introduced her to my parents. You see, I can see myself with her in the future. I know it hurts and I am very sorry". I knew this would happen. But I kept pushing myself that there would be a chance.

I breathed deeply to have strength to stand up. But before I walk away, I thanked him, not because he hurt me, but because he was honest to me. And I appreciated that. I wished him happiness and goog luck for him and his girl. As I walked away from the coffee shop, the tears I've been trying to stop flowed. I won't deny the fact that it hurts me a lot. And the precious gem that was half fixed was shettered once again but this time, it was into tiny pieces. I wiped the tears on my face as I pulled myself together. I breathed deeply once again as I pulled my chin up. I won't pretend that I will be okay dor the next few weeks or months, but I know myself that I will be.

As I finished the piece, I opened my eyes exactly when my friend came from the store. She freaked out to see me crying. She comforted me instantly after seeing me cry. That's the time when I realized I was indeed crying and at the same time I was laughing. My friend said that I was losing my mind because I was crying and at the same time I was laughing. I know its weird, but I was crying not because of pain, but because of happiness. And I was laughing because I felt the old me calling myself stupid.

I wiped the tears and smiled as I offered my friend to eat the food she bought and she agreed. I told her to go at the kitchen first because I was going to keep the piece at my drawer. But as I was fixinv it, I saw a letter written behind the piece. And because curiosity kills me, i read it.

"Hi there old friend of mine! I know you will be reading this letter before or after you leave. I know you're wonderinv on how did I put it in your desk but I won't say it. I know you're still on the process of moving on but I will cheer for you. I will not only cheer for you in the process of moving on but I will alsi cheer for you on your path to success. I hope thise piece that U composed will inspire you to do your very best and never give up! Cheers to you beautiful lady!"

I was shocked and at the same time touched. For after all that happened he still remember me. He still cared for me. And he still treats me as his friend. Yes, I am still in the process of movinv on but after what all he said in the letter, I was moved. I know there is right time for everything and I know that our All Mighty has better plans for us. I know I'll fine my happiness. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but i know I will. But for now, I'll enjoy every little thing that I have.