Yearning

to ache for

04.03.2015:
I'm in too deep. What are you supposed to do when the closest you've gotten to socialising with him is to inform him about something school-related? What are you supposed to do when you stutter when he asks you something? What are you supposed to do when you're not charismatic? What are you supposed to do when you're awkward all the damn time? What are you supposed to do when you're only falling for him everyday? What do you do when you feel pain for something you did not do? What do you do when you are constantly questioning yourself to whether you are good enough? What do you do when you know that the answer to every question will wreck you? How do you cope with a pain that you have not felt? How do you stop liking someone before it comes to love? For all I know, it might already be love, but what do I know, eh? How the hell are you supposed to be confident when you're like someone like me? How do you make a decision; to tell him, or not to tell him? How do you get rid of this consuming feeling in which a grin can make your heart flutter and his laugh can make you smile? How do you show yourself the truth - that a girl like me cannot have feelings like these reciprocated? What do you do when you get jealous over someone you cannot call your own? How do you rid yourself of the power someone so unknowing has over you? What do you do when you imagine his reaction if you end up telling him on the last day you might ever see him in person? Bug-eyed, silent and shoving his hands in his pockets. What do you do when you see yourself tearing up and leaving, not to see him ever again? What do you do when your heart is being stolen by someone who does not know it? What do you do when the captor of your heart is a paradox in on himself? He's one of the most beautiful people in every sense, and yet he's got so much power over you in his unknowing state.

22.08.2015 update:
I never told him.