The Masks of Amelia

Dresses

I took a couple deep breaths to calm the rising panic in my chest. I went over to the patio that Lillian appeared to have missed. It was a simple thing, just some bricks, a couple white wire chairs, and a matching table looking out over the city. It was wondrous.

In the distance I could see a glittering tower that belonged to the castle the royals stayed in. Lucky us, we lived in the capitol. The amount of tourists and suck-ups that came every year was tiring. They saw the shiny castle, the pretty tourist-y spots. They provided some jobs, and even a great income for the overall city, but I still hated most of them. They never bothered to scratch beneath the sparkling ivory exterior. That would spoil the magical experience of being near royalty.

I had several friends born into the mafia, and they were actually pretty awesome. I had more respect for them than the crown. They'd offered to off my step-mother a couple times, and I'd considered it, but it wasn't really my style. If I did kill her, and that was a really big if, I'd do it myself. The amount of suffering the woman had caused me was worth that much. I wanted to do it with a dagger, I'd decided. Classical and personal.

After squinting at that shining ivory tower for a bit, I checked my watch, and saw it was time to go retrieve Ava and Olivia.

I didn't take the same car I had that morning. Who knew what Lillian might have tampered with. Ava sauntered out first, slinging her fake blonde hair everywhere. Olivia followed, milder than her sister in everything but height. Because while Ava was a perfectly normal height, at 1.75 meters, Olivia was much taller; 1.95 meters. I found this annoying, as I was only 1.55 meters. But alas, I always got the short end of the stick.

On the way back, they described in great detail the dresses they were getting. It only made me melancholy, but I nodded and smiled when I was supposed to. Ava was ecstatic that she was going to attend the ball in an apparently bright green dress, "To match her eyes," she said. I pictured her in a sparkling mucus green dress, and that made me feel better. It was a halter-top empire-waist, which would barely contain her excessive amount of chest, and would look awful in the process. Like I said, she was ecstatic.

Olivia had slightly better fashion taste, but would be going in a yellow, one shouldered, mermaid-style dress. This would only accentuate her lack of figure, but thankfully it wouldn't be falling off, thanks to the fitter she'd been with. She complained about the strap the entire way home. Mentally, I thought about the reactions of various people if it fell off in the middle of the ball. It helped my mood.

When we got back to the house, I cooked them an easy, early dinner, then took mine to my room. I needed a little Nancy in my life. Or maybe some Katarina. I wasn't sure yet who I was feeling like. Maybe I'd try a new technique. Sometimes I was a monstrous nightmare. Sometimes I was an unearthly princess. Sometimes, I was Maria.

Maria was the person I'd always wanted, but never dared, to be. She was bold, had slightly higher, more defined cheekbones, fuller lips, and a thinner nose. I made her out of make up, using myself as a template. She was a mask I would put on sometimes, when I needed to hide from the world. They all were, these creations I made on my own skin. I took Ava and Olivia's usually horrible, but high-end, discarded make up. I took them and made them my own masterpieces. I had pictures of my altered face on my walls. In the center of the collage was a picture of the plain, ordinary me. Maria was right next to me, smirking.

I sat down and played with some colors on my wrist. Once I had what I wanted, I got to work. As I applied layers and brushstrokes, I relaxed into it. Soon I was Katarina, the graceful Arabian princess with endless amounts of patience. She smiled kindly at me in the mirror, and blinked at me with lashes that seemed to go on as far as the desert she was to rule. I'd need her patience in the weeks to come. 

In my wardrobe, I hunted for an outfit Katarina would wear. The girls had gone through many clothes, and many stages in their lives were full of weird trends. They'd throw them out as soon as they realized it was out of style. I, however, rarely threw things out. I also re-purposed them. I found a flowing green dress and slipped it over my head. I practiced walking fluidly around my room, and waved to invisible subjects. 

I put some music on, and danced as I imagined Katarina would. It was ballet-like. Smooth. Poised. Gorgeous, and not at all awkward. For a while, I was Katarina. I had her problems, and mine melted away, replaced with the worry of what her dress should be for dinner tomorrow night and how many rice cakes would be appropriate for her to eat.

I realized how sad and silly this looked after a little while. I slowly took off the dress and placed it back in the wardrobe. I sat in front of the vanity and took out the baby oil and face wipes from their drawer. I erased all of Katarina from my face, but kept some of her patience. Grey eyes stared at me from the mirror. They looked so exhausted and broken that I turned away. There was no more Katarina in those eyes.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

Hey, so, sorry about the sudden rush of possible feels. Yeah...

School has officially started, and I'm already so done. I want more cannoli. I had a really good one today. Also, white hot chocolate. And jerky. I really like all of those things. Ahhh, food.

But anyway. I'm trying to update more, but I'm sorry if it doesn't happen, because, you know, life. Please please please give feedback. I would love to improve on my stories. Any grammar errors, please tell me, because I am a self-reported grammar nazi. 

Anyhitherwho!

~KK