The Same Mistakes Club

Chapter Thirty-Two

It wasn't lost on me that there was a correlation between the demise of my friendship with Gabriel and the growth of the bond within the Club.

Every time the Club moved forward (Maishely's cross country triumph last night), Gabriel and I took a step back (he never showed up at his locker that day).

While that was upsetting, there was another problem that I needed to face.

Kevin.

There was another e-mail waiting for me when I got home.  This one entitled

FRIENDS?

I sat down and clicked it open.

Alissa,

I've been thinking about us a lot lately.  Actually, you're all I think about.  I know I'm not going to hear from you.  I know you hate me.  I know you will never feel for me the way I feel for you.  I deserve this.  But I just need to ask you one question, and I want you to think about it (if you're even reading this) before I see you in a couple of weeks.  Do you think we could at least be friends?  I need you in my life.  And I'll take you whatever way I can.

I am going to do everything possible to get you back in my life.

Love,

Loser

Friends?  He wanted us to be friends?  Could I be friends with Kevin after everything that happened?

Gabriel and Maishely were friends, but Gab didn't cheat on Maishely.  Gabriel was...

I couldn't handle thinking about how wonderful Gabriel was.  Or being friends with Gabriel, since he clearly had no interest in even talking to me.

Maybe the best thing would be just to tell Kevin we could be friends and move on.

But I knew: I was fooling myself if I thought that I would be able to do that.

After brooding about it for a week, I decided to ask Maishely for advice over dinner.  "How can you be friends with Gabriel?"  I blurted out before we even ordered.

Maishely was surprised.  "He's been in my life for so long."

"But so has Kevin... for me,"  I replied.

Maishely looked concerned.  "Yeah, but Gabriel never..."

I sank back in my chair.

"What is this about?"  Maishely bit her lip.

I filled her in on the e-mails and Kevin's plea for us to be friends.

She shook her head.  "Alissa, do you want to be friends with Kevin?"

"No - I never want to see Kevin again.  But that isn't going to happen."

She sighed.  "I really think you need to come clean to your parents."

"No way."

Maishely set down her menu and grabbed my hand.  "Is everything okay?  You've been really quiet all week."

I shrugged.

"You know,"  Maishely offered, "it wasn't easy at first, beign friends with Gabriel.  I had to get in a new routine with him, but now he's one of my best friends.  And so are you."  She hesitated.  "And I wish that my two closest friends could forgive each other."

"What?"  My mouth dropped open.  "Forgive each other?  Maishely, he won't even look at me.  I've tried to apologise to him, but he doesn't even acknowledge my existence."

"I know.  He's just upset."

"Upset?"  I was so frustrated.  "What Hadassa said was a blatant lie.  He knows that, right?"

Maishely nodded.

"So, what's his problem?  We've been friends for a long time and then he dowsn't want to talk to me?  Why?  Because people thought we went on a date."

Maishely shifted uncomfortably in her chair.  "Alissa, Gabriel thought it was a date."

"Maishely, he knew about The Same Mistakes Club.  He knew I couldn't date."

She shrugged.

"You know," I said, "maybe Kevin and Gabriel aren't that different after all."

Maishely looked shocked.  "How can you say that?"

"Come on, Maishely."  My face was flushed.  "So, fine, Gabriel thought it was a date.  So because I wouldn't be..." I wanted to say "his little girlfriend" but didn't want to offend her.  "Because I wouldn't go on a date with him, he doesn't even want to be my friend?  Is all he wants from me, I don't know, to get laid?"

Maishely pursed her lips.  "You know he's not like that."

"Do I?"

I started to get upset.  I knew I'd crossed the line.  I knew that Gab wasn't like Kevin - but I missed Gabriel.  I missed talking to him, hanging out with him between classes.  And he just dumped on me.  Just like Kevin did.  Soo was he any different?

"I'm just saying that my opinion on guys hasn't changed," I said.

I was sure I was right to not get involved with Gabriel.  He would've just hurt me in the end.  Just like he'd already hurt me.