Alive...

Chapter 1

Roxanne POV

*Alarm goes off* "arghh!" i got up too fast and my head spins "what a way to start my morning" i head over to my draws to get my clothes and all then head to the bathroom. mornings weren't the best part of my life, it consisted of groaning, screaming, crying, yelling and than being late for school.. oh hi by the way my name is Roxanne winters, i am a college student studying in music so that i can be famous and wont have to deal with my problems "like that's ever gonna happen" my subconscious adds "geez thanks" i say to myself.

As i'm walking to toward "hell" as in school, i find myself feeling lost in emotions, i'm sort of used to it now but sometimes it just grinds my gear and i know its him just playing with my emotion like if it was toy "oi! stop playing with my emotion" i find telling myself out loud... oops, i see eyes staring at me as if i was crazy, well i am but not in that way.

Finally i get to my locker and somehow it took longer than expected.

And just as i figured another boring day in school, nothing ever happens when i'm here like cant a fire start? a fight? or cant beyonce make an appearance? no.. fine.

Bell rings and it was time to head home, how i dreaded this time of hour. walking home my mind drift off to me on a stage with crowds roaring my name, sold out shows and singing my songs and looking down upon those who bullied me, as i'm in this daydreaming mode i did take caution to where i was walking "ouch watch where you going mate!"i jump back as i scream out of anger, id like to think it was their fault cause who blames them self, am i right?

I gain my focus and realized i didn't just bumped into anyone but i had just bumped into a guy who was well known to be a bad ass "harry is the guy you bumped into, well say you're on your own kid BYE!" i really wish my subconscious would shut up.

He leaned towards me at a steady pace but scary pace. i feel my heart racing, why is he getting so close?! " you're stepping on my shoe lace" he says, wow am i the only one that notice how husky his voice is? anyway but to the situation.. i lift my foot up to see his shoes lace underneath it "ill see you tomorrow loser" he smirk at me, "ew" my subconscious add as look at this boy in confusion while he is walking away.

Shivers go down my spine, those kind of guys weren't my type " do you even have a type?" my subconscious says " yes i do thank you very much! i like guys who shine bright like the sun and love music as much as i do! who plays guitar and doesn't wear black like him" i say to my subconscious "urgh lame! like you'll ever find a guy like that" i rolled my eye, i should explain to you my subconscious was annoying friend implanted into my brain... i describe him as a black silhouette or my enemy but lets just call him john.. "what a lame name" JOHN said to me "perfectly suits you than" i smirk at myself, kind of proud of my reply.

I arrive at finally! now to head to my room and try to avoid any questions my mom throws at me, i sprinted like if i was in a race but as soon as i reached to the stair case, i felt a hand pulling me back.

"ROXANNE!!! MY DARLING HOW WAS SCHOOL?!" my mom said to me, she just love putting me through pain with her happiness and all, "it was good mom... can i go now?" i say to my mom in desperation, "what nooo! you only just got here!" dragging me by my will, she keeps on asking questions that i wish she never ask "so did you talk to any boys? or are you confused?" she says confidently, "MOM!!! no i didn't because they are all idiots and i don't do idiots, can i please go now?" i say, "fine, go on to your little hide away" OH THANK GOODNESS, i repeated to myself.

I walked into the room and closed the door behind me, letting out a breathe i didn't know i was holding in. I run towards my bed and fell upon it, hmmm so warm and comfy "don't forget you have exams tomorrow" john added, oh my! my exams are tomorrow and i haven't even studied! crap i'm gonna fail! "ok calm down, calm down.. now lets see what we have to studied" i grab my bag and brought out my schedule for tomorrow.

My eyes dart straight towards the subjects i hated the most, "MATH AND ENGLISH! urghhh why me!" like a typical person those two subject i hated the most.

I sit down on my desk and started "studying" in a way, as my mind was determine to to pass these subject, someone had slam the door right open making lose my focus as i look behind me "Roxanne Winters! what are these pictures!" she shows me a couple of pictures of drawings on my arms, yes i love tattoos so i draw them on me, "Mom relax they are fake, i only drew it on me" i say to my mom in a calm voice "relax! you're telling me to relax! i let you do whatever you want, i never ask for anything, not to do the dishes or laundry but the one thing i asked you was to never draw these ''TATTOOS'' on you! i thought i knew you.. i thought i knew my little girl" she spat out, ouch that really hurt, "MOM ITS FAKE!" Raising my voice, she was getting on my nerves now and this was stupid what we were fighting about, "i don't care if its fake! i care about you! i don't want you to end up like those emos on the street and if you wanna be one than forget about me being your mother! you're a disgrace" she spat and walks out of my room feeling like i have thousands of bullet holes in me.. leaving me to cry.. " why was she being so mean?" i'm so confused as to why, "relieve this pain... go bring that Stanley knife.. and cut yourself" john said with a devilish smile. "NO I WONT IM SICK AND TIRED OF DOING IT!" boy i was sick of him why did i have to be born with him! the only reason why i want tattoos to cover my markings, "do it! do it! do it! do it!" he chants, i felt the heat take over me as i scream from the bottom of my lungs "SHUT UP SHUT UPP!"... total silence

What a life..

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heeey guys!! tanks for reading i will be sure to update once a week regularly!!

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