The Whovianitis Files

The What's and How's

What is Whovianitis?

Whovianitis is the disease suffered by many Doctor Who fans around the world. Left unattended, it can create large problems that interfere with the victim's social and physical life. It is a dangerous illness, and steps should be taken to prevent and treat it before too many people have fallen prey to it. Help raise awareness of this disease to everyone who may be at risk or know someone at risk for Whovianitis.

How is this caused?

Doctor Who is brainwashing us to think only about the show. It shouldn't matter what episode you watch-you will always always always get a tiny bit of brainwashing. If you get connected to a character, especially one who's future isn't clear (AKA they're on the current show) then the brainwashing will pull you in further. There are no very effective ways to avoid the brainwashing at the time. 

What are the symptoms?

There are many symptoms of Whovianitis. Signs of Whovianitis include random crying, random laughing, sudden inexplicable bouts of smiling, isolation from all life forms, a tendency to be reminded of Doctor Who no matter how far away the previous subject was, writing Doctor Who fanfiction, wanting to buy/actually buying useless Doctor Who merchandise, and DIY-ing some sort of Doctor Who item. These symptoms will be multiplied the further progressed into Whovianitis the infected one is. For example, if you notice a sudden influx of Doctor Who items being delivered to their house, or the person constantly bursting into tears and upon being questioned murmuring a character's name or an event that occurred on the show, you should take immediate action to help as they have deeply progressed into the disease.

If the disease is allowed to progress far enough, a Zombified Whovian (ZW) will form in their brains. It will cause them to constantly think about Doctor Who and act accordingly. The ZW brings back feels-filled memories and can cause significant emotional destruction. Once the ZW has formed there is no going back. 

What should I do if I/someone I know has it?

If you know anyone who appears to be suffering from these symptoms, including yourself, stay calm and continue to have the victim be informed on Whovianitis. You can still go on living a normal life even if you have progressed to the point with a ZW. Take a deep breath and carry on. Make sure to warn others you know about Whovianitis.