Pretending Not To Love Him

Chapter Four: I'm Sorry

Kenneth's POV
"I Love you too Kenneth" she answered.
Finally, the girl I love says 'I love you' to me? ^.^
She stand up and she seems so confused. 😕
I stand up and held her wrists.
"Wait Keirrah, is there something wrong?" I ask in a teary eyes.
Shit! Parang alam ko na kung saan 'to papunta.
Dapat hindi ako nagpadalos- dalos, dapat hindi ko sya hinalikan, dapat hindi ko inamin.
SHIT!!! 😫
"I'm sorry ----" she answered while looking away from me.
I knew it. Ang tanga tanga ko.
Binitawan ko ang kamay nya. Sa sinabi nya parang nadurog yung puso ko 'I'm sorry'? Yun lang yun? Matapos kong umamin sa kanya. Akala ko mahal nya din ako.
"Hindi kita gustong saktan Kenneth. Pero ----- hindi ko pa kayang masaktan ulit!" She answered while sobbing.
Naiyak ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko ng dahil sakin. Napasabunot ako sa ulo ko. Damn it! Dapat di ko nalang inamin para di sya nahihirapan ngayon at di ako nasasaktan ngayon!.
I just hugged her tight and rub her head.
"Hush, hindi mo kailangang mag-sorry. It's my fault not yours" i said while hiding my face so she can't see me crying.
I don't want her to love me just because of guilt. If she can't love me right now, I can wait even if it takes forever 😥 I will never leave her side.
I carry her at inuupo ko sya sa corner ng rooftop at dun hinayaan ko syang umiyak. Nakayapos sya sa kanyang tuhod habang naiyak.
Masakit pala talaga kapag inamin mo yung feelings mo, tapos ma-rereject lang....
Ang sakit...
Gusto kong tumakbo papalayo...
Pero di ko sya pwedeng iwan. Umupo ako sa tabi nya at hinahagod ang likod nya.
After a few minutes na pag-iyak nya, tumigil sya.
Inangat ko ang mga buhok na nakaharang sa kanya at nakita ko na tulog na pala sya.
Iniayos ko sya ng upo at isinandal sya sa balikat ko.
Ang kalma kalma ng mukha nya. Sana pag gising nya hindi na sya umiyak. T_T
Yung pag- amin ko sa kanya turns out to be a disaster! I shouldn't have tell the truth.
I lean my head in her and close my eyes -----
*after an hour*
I woke up and saw her still asleep. I smile slightly and realized siguro ito na yung time na kailangan ko na syang bitawan. Napa- face palm ako habang natulo ang luha ko. T_T
Hindi sa iiwasan o iiwan ko sya dahil na-reject ako. Gagawin ko 'to para hindi na sya mahirapan. Sa sobrang tagal kong naghintay hindi yun yung reason, kailangan ko lang talaga syang bigyan ng freedom at space para makapag- isip muna sya ng maigi.
"Hmmm.." She utters while moving a little bit.
She's awake. I must escort her until she finally got home. And then sisimulan ko na syang iwasan. Maybe it's for the better.
"Wake up sleepy head" I said while smiling a bit.
She yawn and stretch her hands
"I'm awake" she said while having a teary eyes because of her yawning.
"We must go home" I said seriously. I stand up then look straight in the horizon.
Namumuo na yung mga luha sa mata ko, pero kailangan ko 'tong pigilan habang hindi ko pa sya nahahatid sa bahay nila.
Pinunasan ko yung mga mata ko at pilit na ngumiti sa kanya.
"Ken, may problema ba? Bakit ang pula ng mata mo?" She asked curiously.
"Haha, nakatulog kasi tayo ng mahaba kaya mapula yung mata ko" pagpapalusot ko habang kinakamot yung eyelid ko.
"Ikaw nga din" dagdag ko habang tinuturo sya.
She laughed then rub her eyelids.
I lend my hand over her then she just look at my hands.
"Tara na?"pag- aaya ko sa kanya.
She gave me her left hand and then I pulled her up. It caused her na mapalapit sakin ng todo dahil sa paghigit ko sa kanya.
Our face are close again just like the moment when we kissed.
She blushed and I feel like my tears are gonna burst anytime.
"A-Ay S-Sorry hindi ko sinasa----" She stopped when I kissed her again.
And for the second time, I feel like I'm in heaven.
At least this would be the last time that I'm gonna kiss her.
My cheeks starts to drip in tears. We were kissing for like a minute.
When we pulled away, she just smile and then we walk.
I wish this moment would last, but sadly it wouldn't because this will have to end.
I love you Keirrah

Keirrah's POV
I woke up and I realized that I have fallen asleep.
"Wake up sleepy head" Kenneth greeted me with a smile.
I remember what I said to him an hour ago. I hope he's not mad at me.
I just yawn and stretch my hands up high.
"I'm awake" I answer while wiping some few tears on my eyes.
"We must go home" he said with a serious face then he stand up and look away.
Wait? Is he mad at me?
He was staring at the horizon blankly for a seconds.
"Ken, may problema ba? Bakit ang pula ng mata mo?" I asked him questionably. I got nervous to what he's going to answer.
"Haha, nakatulog kasi tayo ng mahaba kaya mapula yung mata ko" he answered then he rub his eyelids.
I got relieved when he said that. I really thought he's still mad at me.
"Ikaw nga din" he added as he pointed me. I rubbed my eyelids as well.
Haha yeah maybe he's right, maybe it's just because we overslept.
"Tara na?" Sabi nya while lending his hands in front of me.
I just stare at his hands but then I lend my hand over his.
He give me a boost when he pulled me up but then we just got close. Our face are close again.
I just look away from his eyes
"A-Ay S-Sorry hindi ko sinasa----" I stopped talking again when he kissed me on the lips. My eyes got wider but then I responded in his kiss. In the middle of our kiss, I feel my cheeks get wet and then I realized that he's crying. I thought he's going to stop but he didn't.
Why did he keeps on cutting my line with his lips. -__-
We were kissing for like a ...minute. Yeah a minute.
We pulled away and I smile at him.
Now I know that he's serious about everything he said back then.